Download Title: Healthy Relationships

Title: Conflict Resolution
Grade Level/Audience: 9th
Sequence: 4 of 8
Time Frame: 45 minutes
PA Standards: 10.1.9.A Analyze factors that impact growth and development between
adolescence and adulthood
 Relationships (dating, friendships)
Specific Behavioral Objectives:
Cognitive:
The student will examine communication styles.
The student will uncover ways to resolve problems.
The student will analyze a bad relationship and fix it.
The student will dissect characteristics about themselves.
Skill:
The student will create a bad relationship scenario.
Content Outline:
A. Communication Styles
a. Passive- Indirect, always agrees, doesn't speak up, hesitant
b. Aggressive- Close minded, poor listener, has difficulty seeing the other
person's point of view, interrupts, monopolizing
c. Assertive- Effective, active listener, states limits, expectations, states
observations, no labels or judgments, expresses self directly, honestly, and
as soon as possible about feelings and wants, checks on others feelings
B. Three types of Conflict Resolution
a. Win-lose- Result when only one side perceives the outcome as
positive.
b. Lose-lose- All parties end up being worse off.
c. Compromise- outcomes occur when each side of a dispute feels they
have won.
C. Five steps for Conflict Resolution:
a. Agree that you disagree
b. Take turns listening and talking
c. Restate what you heard
d. Come up with a solution
e. Get outside help if needed
D. I Statements
a. Think about who owns the problem (whose problem is it?)
a. If I am bothered, that is my problem
b. If you are bothered, that is your problem
c. If we care about each other's feelings, or if the other may be
prompted into action that affects both, it is our problem
b. Describe "I" statements as being made up of three parts:
a. When you...
b. I feel...
c. Because ... (the focus is on my feelings).
Methods/Learning Experiences:
Introductory (5 minutes):
Welcome class. Tell students to hand in their collages. Hand out Bell
ringer. Take attendance while this is happening. Allow five minutes for this.
Tell students that today we will be talking about conflict resolution.
Developmental (35 minutes):
Hand out “Assert yourself” to students. Explain to students that they need
to check the statements that apply to their personality. Allow two minutes to do
this. Go over the worksheet. Tell students that if they answered mostly yeses to
the first four questions, they are labeled a passive personality. If they answered
mostly yeses to 5-8, they are labeled as assertive. If they answered mostly yeses
to 9-12, they are aggressive. Have students get out paper/pen and have them take
notes from the overhead. Tell them a passive personality is someone who is
indirect, always agrees, doesn’t speak up, and is very hesitant. Some
characteristics are: they are apologetic, self-conscious, trusts others, but not self
doesn't express own wants and feelings allow others to make decisions for self
doesn't get what he or she wants. An aggressive personality is close minded, poor
listener, has difficulty seeing the other person's point of view, interrupts often, and
are monopolizing. Some characteristics of an aggressive person are that they
achieve goals (often at others' expense), are domineering, are bullying, are
patronizing, are condescending, and often are sarcastic. Finally, an assertive
personality is someone who is an effective, active listener, states limits,
expectations, states observations, doesn’t judge, expresses themselves directly,
are honest, and checks on others feelings. Some characteristics of an assertive
personality are that they are non-judgmental, they observe behavior rather than
labeling it, they trusts themselves and others, are confident, are self-aware, are
open, are flexible, are versatile, are playful, have a sense of humor, are decisive,
are proactive, and are initiating. After this, hand out communication styles
worksheet. Allow five minutes to complete this and have them hand in their
sheets.
Next, talk about conflict resolution. Talk about the three steps. They are
win-lose, lose-lose, and compromise. Win-lose is the result when only one side
perceives the outcome as positive. In lose-lose, all parties end up being worse off.
In compromise, the outcome occurs when each side of a dispute feels they have
won. Everyone should aim to do achieve the compromise resolution. Put up the
Win/Win guidelines.
After this, go over “I” statements. Think about who owns the problem
(whose problem is it?) If I am bothered, that is my problem. If you are bothered,
that is your problem. If we care about each other's feelings, or if the other may be
prompted into action that affects both, it is our problem. Describe "I" statements
as being made up of three parts: When you... I feel... Because ... (the focus is on
my feelings). Some examples of “I Messages” are I feel angry, I’m sad because
you took my ipod, I am embarrassed because you made fun of me. Some “You
messages” are: You’re a pain, you’re mean, or you make me mad. Than have
them do the “I” statement worksheet.
Culminating: (5 minutes):
After students are done with their “I Statements” worksheet, have them
pass
Student Assessments:
Cognitive
I statements
Communication Styles
Materials:
25 I Statements
25 Conflict Resolution
25 Assert yourself worksheets
Overheads
Resources
AIR University. Understanding your communication style. Retrieved April 19,
2008, from http://www.au.af.mil/au/awc/awcgate/sba/comm_style.htm
The conflict resolution information source. Win-win, win-lose, lose-lose
situations. Retrieved April 21, 2008, from http://crinfo.beyondi
ntractability.org/essay/win-lose/
New Jersey State Bar Foundation. (2000). Conflict resolution and peer mediation
guide Vol. 2.
I statements
Name:
Date:
Directions: After each situation listed below, create and appropriate I statement.
1. Your friend wants to borrow $20.00. You can’t spare the money now.
2. You have been sitting in a restaurant for twenty minutes without being waited on.
3. Your parents do not like the person you are dating.
4. Your parents want you to go on vacation with them. You want to stay home to be
with your friends.
5. The server brings you a cold hamburger and soggy French fries.
6. Your sister accuses of you of taking some money from her drawer.
Assert Yourself
Name:
Date:
Directions: Write a ‘Yes” in the blank beside the statements that are like you and write a
‘No’ in the blank beside the statements that are unlike you.
1. I am careful to avoid hurting other people’s feelings, even when I feel that my
rights have been overlooked.
2. I avoid asking questions because I am afraid that I may sound stupid.
3. People often take advantage of me.
4. I have a hard time saying no even when I don’t want to do something.
5. There are times when I look for a good argument.
6. Anyone who tells stories about me can expect to find trouble.
7. When I get angry, I sometimes lose control.
8. I enjoy winning a good confrontation.
9. I enjoy talking with people I don’t know very well.
10. I am open and frank about my feelings.
11. If someone were talking during a movie, I would ask them to be quiet.
12. When someone pays me a compliment, I can easily accept it and say “thank
you”.
Name:
Communication Styles
Date:
Directions: Label the reaction style for each response. Write P for passive, A for
assertive, and AG for aggressive.
1. A group of people are talking about Jessica, who is your friend
You listen to the stories but don’t make any comments.
You say, “I don’t feel comfortable talking about Jessica when she’s not here.
Let’s talk about something else.”
You say, “You shouldn’t be talking about Jessica behind her back. What a
bunch of gossips!”
2. Your older sister wants to borrow your new, favorite shirt. She wears a larger size
than you.
You say, “No Allie, I don’t feel comfortable when someone borrows my clothes.
I’ll help you pick out something of yours that looks really good on you.”
You let her borrow the shirt and hope the buttons don’t pop off.
You yell, “You’ve got to be kidding! No way am I going to let an elephant
borrow my stuff!”
3. You are buying a movie ticket with a $20.00 bill. The employee gives you incorrect
change.
You say, “Hey! You’re ripping me off.”
You say nothing and tell the manager of the theater.
You say, “I think I got incorrect change. I paid with a $20.00 bill.”
PA Standards: 10.1.9.A Analyze factors that impact growth and development between
adolescence and adulthood
 Relationships (dating, friendships)
Objective:
Cognitive:
The student will identify communication styles.
Name:
Communication Styles
Date:
Directions: Label the reaction style for each response. Write P for passive, A for
assertive, and AG for aggressive.
1. A group of people are talking about Jessica, who is your friend
P
You listen to the stories but don’t make any comments.
A
You say, “I don’t feel comfortable talking about Jessica when she’s not here.
Let’s talk about something else.”
AG
You say, “You shouldn’t be talking about Jessica behind her back. What a
bunch of gossips!”
2. Your older sister wants to borrow your new, favorite shirt. She wears a larger size
than you.
A
You say, “No Allie, I don’t feel comfortable when someone borrows my clothes.
I’ll help you pick out something of yours that looks really good on you.”
P
You let her borrow the shirt and hope the buttons don’t pop off.
AG
You yell, “You’ve got to be kidding! No way am I going to let an elephant
borrow my stuff!”
3. You are buying a movie ticket with a $20.00 bill. The employee gives you incorrect
change.
AG
You say, “Hey! You’re ripping me off.”
P
You say nothing and tell the manager of the theater.
A
You say, “I think I got incorrect change. I paid with a $20.00 bill.”
Five steps for Conflict Resolution:
Agree that you disagree
Take turns listening and talking
Restate what you heard
Come up with a solution
Get outside help if needed
Types of Conflict Resolution
Win-Lose: One side imposes it’s will
on the other
Compromise: Outcomes occur when
each side of a dispute feels they have
won.
Collegial: : Both sides communicate
to develop a new, better solution.
Communication Styles:
Passive- indirect, always
agrees, doesn’t speak up,
hesitant
Aggressive- Close minded,
poor listener, has difficulty
seeing other’s points of
views
Assertive- Effective, active
listener, states limits, no
labels/judgments, honest,
checks on others feelings
Five steps for
Resolution:
1. Agree that you
.
2. Take turns
3.
and talking.
what you heard.
4. Come up with a
.
5. Get outside
if needed.
Types of
Resolution
1.
on the other
2.
: One side
it’s will
: Outcomes occur when
side of a dispute feels they have
.
3.
: Both sides communicate to
develop a new, better
.
Communication Styles:
1.
- indirect,
speak up, hesitant
- Close minded,
listener, has
other’s points of views
agrees,
2.
3.
- Effective, active
listener, states limits, no labels or
, honest, checks on
feelings.
seeing