Download It`s Not What You Say…

Stephanie Büda
Informative outline
It’s Not What You Say…
“It’s not what you say… it’s how you say it!” Your mother says—again—as she accuses you of
“having an attitude.” Whether or not you were actually having a said attitude or not, your
mother was making a point: that something besides words shape what we say. The study of
unspoken communication—otherwise known as non-verbal communication—gives us some
insight into what message we actually send… whether we mean to or not. So, let’s take a look at
non-verbal communication and how it serves as an important and functional way that we send
messages.
I. Non-verbal communication is important for several reasons.
A. Non-verbal communication proves that we cannot NOT communicate.
1. We constantly communicate through body language.
2. We constantly communicate through paralanguage—the use of our voice.
B. Non-verbal communication is crucial to human interaction.
1. NVC is the primary means of conveying emotion and attitude
2. NVC is usually more trusted and believed than verbal communication,
especially when the two seem to contradict.
3. NVC is unavoidable.
C. However, nonverbal communication can also be problematic.
1. Non-verbal signals are ambiguous and can be difficult to interpret.
2. Non-verbal signals are constantly evolving.
Transition: Now that we have seen why non-verbal communication is important, let’s look
at some ways we use NVC.
II. Non-verbal communication has several important functions.
A. NVC “accents” and emphasizes what we say.
B. NVC “compliments” by adding meaning to what is being said when words don’t
convey a certain emotion.
C. NVC “contradicts” by matching verbal messages with nonverbal messages that don’t
express the same idea.
D. NVC “repeats” by following up a verbal message with a nonverbal signal that means
the same thing.
E. NVC “substitutes” by using a non-verbal cue in the place of a verbal expression.
As we have seen, nonverbal communication is an important way we communicate and has
several functions in our everyday life. We use our body and our tone to repeat, re-enforce, and
even sarcastically refute what we are really saying. So the next time your mom—or anyone
else—accuses you of communicating something you’re not, just stop and ask yourself what
you—all of you—might really be saying.
Bibliography
Doe, Jane L. Non-verbal Communication: Sending and Receiving Unspoken Messages. Boston:
Donovan, 2007. Print.
Segal, Jeanne, Melinda Smith, and Jaelline Jaffe. "Nonverbal Communication Skills: The Power
of Body Language." Helpguide.org: Understand, Prevent and Resolve Life's Challenges.
Sept. 2009. Web. 20 Sept. 2010.
<http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq6_nonverbal_communication.htm>.
Speak, I. L. Don't Use Your Words. Greenville: BJUP, 2011. Print.