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Session 1.4 Interpersonal Communication Total Session Time: 2 hours, 45 minutes Learning Objectives: By the end of this session, participants will be able to: Define interpersonal communication. Describe the importance of communication in leadership. List at least three styles of communication. Identify and practice at least two strategies to improve listening. Describe communication barriers. Identify strategies for preventing and addressing communication barriers. Slide 1 Introduction • The aim of this session is to explain the importance of good communication skills for leaders/managers, and begin the process of improving communication skills. Slide 2 All pictures and images in this session are from Microsoft Office Clip Art Gallery, unless otherwise noted. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 93 Slide 3 Activity: Build a Story • One participant will begin telling the story, with 1 sentence. The person sitting to the left of that person will continue the storytelling, with 1 sentence that builds on the detail from the person before them. The story continues until every person in the room has contributed a line. One participant to begin the story by giving the first line: “Once upon a time there was ___________” Participants should continue the story until everyone has contributed. The purpose of this activity is to emphasize the importance of listening carefully to others. • • • • • • Slide 4 Introduction to Interpersonal Communication • Communication is the process by which information, meaning and feelings are shared by persons through the exchange of verbal or non-verbal messages. It is the transfer of information from one person to another for the purpose of sharing the idea or information. Slide 5 Animation Clicks: 1 Source: Tanzania MOHSW. Communication Skills in PITC Services. Module 3, Session 1. Source: Tanzania MOHSW. Communication Skills in PITC Services. Module 3, Session 1. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 94 Slide 6 Animation Clicks: 1 • • • Only 7 to 11% of all communication is verbal, and the rest is non-verbal. Non-verbal gestures may not always match a verbal message. Differences in how messages are perceived can lead to confusion. Slide 7 Examples: • Crying while saying, “I am fine” • Saying that you are listening when you are not making eye contact with the speaker and are looking all around the room while the speaker talking. • Saying that you are not bored or tired when you are yawning. Source: Tanzania MOHSW. Communication Skills in PITC Services. Module 3, Session 1. • Senders and receivers can be a managers, colleagues, employees, representatives from other organizations, etc. • The channel of communication is the voice of the speaker. It could also be an e-mail, phone call, letter, etc. • Feedback can be either negative or positive. It will be different depending on who you are communicating with! • Leaders and managers need patience to handle negative feedback. Adapted from: Tanzania MOHSW. Communication Skills in PITC Services. Module 3, Session 1. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 95 Slide 8 • • • • • • Slide 9 • The communication process has five components: Sender, Message, Channel, Receiver and Feedback The sender initiates the communication to transmit a message The sender uses some kind of channel (way to communicate) The receiver is the person receiving the message and translating it into meaning Feedback is an essential part of communication; the receiver has to respond to show that he/she understood the message or not. Also, the Sender has to find out whether he/she has been understood by the Receiver. Feedback can be verbal or non-verbal. Effective communication means that the correct message goes from the Sender to the Receiver successfully. Effective communication requires the ability of both the sender and the receiver to: • Listen • Pay attention • Perceive what the other is trying to communicate • Respond verbally or non-verbally (i.e., use feedback) Adapted from: Tanzania MOHSW. Communication Skills in PITC Services. Module 3, Session 1. Other channels of communication include: • Drumming • Dancing • Visual images • Hand signals • Drawings and pictures Adapted from: Tanzania MOHSW. Communication Skills in PITC Services. Module 3, Session 1. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 96 Slide 11 Slide 10 Leadership and Communication • • • • • Good leaders are excellent communicators. Each of the leadership and management practices requires good communication skills. Managers who lead must be able to convey meaningful, compelling and inspiring messages and transmit or exchange information with a variety of people inside and outside the organization. Good communication is critical for leaders who want to involve the members of their team, department, or organization to face challenges successfully. Good communication is also important to align expectations. Irritations and frustrations between organizational units, between individuals, or between collaborating organizations often arise from miscommunications or a disconnect in expectations. Source: Management Sciences for Health, 2005. “Managers Who Lead”. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 97 Slide 12 Slide 13 Communication skills that are important for leadership include the ability to: • Articulate points of view in a manner that allows for productive dialogue • Relate positively with people at all levels of the organization • Create messages that inspire others to support the organization’s goals and work together • Convey hope during times of turbulence • Present clear and compelling points of view to individuals and groups • Select a channel that is a appropriate for the message and the receiver • Consider how culture (your own, and that of your colleagues, staff, partners, etc.) impacts your communication. As much as possible, communicate in a way that is culturally appropriate. Source: Management Sciences for Health, 2005. “Managers Who Lead”. Communication Styles Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 98 Slide 14 We will focus on three modes of learning and communicating for the next part of the presentation. • Most of us have a combination of all 3 modes, but there are typically two modes that we favor/prefer. • These modes influence how we prefer to receive information, and also how we prefer to convey information. Slide 15 Adapted from Anita Verna Crofts, University of Washington. • • • • Visual learners learn best by seeing things Usually, visual learners respond well to color, shapes, and language that reflects this Visual learners might say, “show me!” Visual communicators might say, “Watch how I do it.” Slide 16 Adapted from Anita Verna Crofts, University of Washington. Refer to Answer Sheet in Handout 1.4.1: Communication Style Assessment, on page 113 in the Participant Handbook. • • Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication In the Communication Assessment exercise, higher scores in Column 1 and Column 6 suggest a preference for visual learning and communication. Column 1 indicates how you best learn or take in information, and Column 6 indicates a preference for sharing or explaining information in a visual way. Participant Handbook 99 Slide 17 • • Visual learners are very attuned to facial expressions Photos, Graphs and Charts, Colored font, and using images to express ideas Slide 18 Adapted from Anita Verna Crofts, University of Washington. • • Slide 19 • Refer to Answer Sheet in Handout 1.4.1: Communication Style Assessment, on page 113 in the Participant Handbook. • • Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Auditory learners learn best by hearing things Auditory learners might say, “Tell me.” Auditory communicators might say, “listen to me explain.” In the communication Assessment exercise, higher scores in Column 2 and Column 7 suggest a preference for auditory learning and communication. Column 2 indicates how you best learn or take in information, and Column 7 indicates a preference for sharing or explaining information in an auditory way. Participant Handbook 100 Slide 20 Examples of different ways that auditory learners prefer to take in or communicate information: (Note: list is illustrative; not intended to be complete) • Using the phone or talking face-toface instead of an e-mail or letter • Reading out loud • Listening to music • Talking through an issue Slide 21 Adapted from Anita Verna Crofts, University of Washington. • • • • Kinesthetic learners are often successful when they are touching, feeling, and experiencing the material at hand. Kinesthetic learners “learn by doing.” Kinesthetic learners might say, “Let me try.” Kinesthetic communicators might say, “Now you try doing it.” Slide 22 Adapted from Anita Verna Crofts, University of Washington. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Refer to Answer Sheet in Handout 1.4.1: Communication Style Assessment, on page 113 in the Participant Handbook. • In the communication Assessment exercise, higher scores in Column 3 and Column 8 suggest a preference for kinesthetic learning and communication. • Column 3 indicates how you best learn or take in information, and Column 8 indicates a preference for sharing or explaining information in a kinesthetic way. Participant Handbook 101 Slide 23 Examples of different ways that kinesthetic learners prefer to take in or communicate information. • Learning a skill by using your hands or your body • Pacing (walking) to help you think • Demonstrations • Reacting to “gut feelings” in decision-making Slide 24 Adapted from Anita Verna Crofts, University of Washington. Refer to Answer Sheet in Handout 1.4.1: Communication Style Assessment, on page 113 in the Participant Handbook. • • Slide 25 • • • • • Columns 4 and 5 refer to how we approach tasks. In the communication Assessment exercise, higher scores in Column 4 means we prefer to work on one task at a time, if given a choice (solo tasking). Higher scores in Column 5 means we work best with a variety, moving from project to project (multitasking). No mode is superior to any other – they are simply different styles. To learn and to lead best, we must understand our preferred modes of giving and receiving information. Given that most people learn in multiple modes, we must work to include a variety in how we communicate with others To be effectively understood, we must tailor our speech and hearing to the mode of the listener Adapted from Anita Verna Crofts, University of Washington. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 102 Slide 27 Slide 26 The Art of Listening Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication • • Listening is critical for effective leadership. The people we work with respond differently to us, and to the organization, when they know they are being heard. Participant Handbook 103 Slide 28 This exercise will give you an opportunity to reflect on your own listening habits. Refer to Handout 1.4.2: Listening SelfAssessment, on page 115 in the Participant Handbook. • • It may be useful for them to solicit feedback from others about their listening habits. You may consider sharing this assessment with others – your colleagues, co-workers, managers, friends, and/or family to get additional perspectives on your listening habits. Slide 29 Source: Wilkinson, Richard. International Training and Education Center for Health (I-TECH). Seattle, WA. Slide 30 Source: Wilkinson, Richard. International Training and Education Center for Health (I-TECH). Seattle, WA. Refer to Handout 1.4.3: Becoming an Effective Listener on page 117 of Participant Handbook. Tip: “Stop Talking” is included twice because it is an important point! • • Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Adapted from:Covey, Steven. (2003)The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People—Personal Workbook. pg. 110. Senge, Peter et al. (1994) The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook. pg. 391 Participant Handbook 104 Slide 31 Strengthening Communication • • Slide 32 Animation Clicks: 1 • • • There are many ways that we can strengthen communication. This requires thought and reflection on how we listen and speak to the people around us. We will discuss each of these elements in greater detail. Each of the items on this list can prevent us from communicating effectively. Note that many of these barriers can come from the sender or from the receiver. Some are also related to the environment. Slide 33 Adapted from: Tanzania MOHSW. Communication Skills in PITC Services. Module 3, Session 1. Communication can be complex, difficult, and frustrating because of the barriers we put in the way. In this activity, you will discuss one specific barrier to communication and how to overcome it. Refer to Worksheet 1.4.1: Barriers to Communication Activity on page 121 of participant manual. • • Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Communication is one of the most important skills in being an effective leader and manager. We all need to pay attention to communication and work on improving how we communicate with each other. Participant Handbook 105 Slide 34 Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Refer to Handout 1.4.4: Hear What Others Say on page 119 of Participant Handbook for a full explanation of each statement. Participant Handbook 106 Slide 35 • It is important to be genuine with positive comments, and constructive with criticism. Give specific feedback: • Reinforce constructive actions by letting the person know specifically what you appreciated. • (For example, “The way you organized the meeting agenda was very clear…”) • When providing critical feedback, it is also important to be specific, in order to avoid feelings of helplessness or resentment among staff. • (For example, “When you do not prepare a lesson in advance, the class often runs out of time to cover all of the information and practice all of the skills.”) Balance negative and positive comments: • Give your team positive feedback when their work deserves praise, and encourage people to do this with one another. Use proactive language: • It is important to choose words that enable you and others to face challenges constructively. (Note: we will discuss reactive and proactive approaches in greater depth in a few minutes.) Convert complaints into requests • Encourage staff to shift their language by converting complaints into requests. • Ask them to identify the person who might be able to help remedy the situation, and support them in asking that person to take a specific action. Be genuine. • It is important to be genuine with positive comments, and constructive with criticism. Source: Management Sciences for Health, 2005. “Managers Who Lead”. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 107 Slide 36 • • • • Reactive means making decision based on impulse, in response to external stimuli. Proactive means making decisions based on values, and thinking before you act. Stephen R. Covey, who wrote The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, describes it this way: “Reactive people are like bottles of cola. When life or work shakes things up, the pressure builds until they explode. Proactive people are like bottles of water. When they get shaken up, they remain calm.” You may not be able to control what happens, but you can control how you respond to it. Slide 37 Source: Covey, Steven. 2003. “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Personal Workbook.” New York: Fireside Books/Simon & Schuster. Adapted from: Covey, Steven. (2003) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People— Personal Workbook. New York: Fireside Books by Simon and Schuster. pg. 110. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 108 Slide 38 Think of all the things we have discussed in this session: Listening skills, verbal and non-verbal communication, learning and communication styles (visual, auditory, kinesthetic), constructive communication, proactive communication, balancing advocacy and inquiry, etc. • • • Take 1 minute to reflect on your own communication skills as a leader or manager. What areas can you improve? Write 1-2 things that you can improve about your communication skills. Be specific. • I will consider the communication styles of my team members, and try to engage visual learners more in my presentations. • I will get feedback on my listening skills from my team members, to see how my staff and colleagues feel. Slide 39 Key Points Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 109 Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 110 Handout 1.4.1: Communication Style Assessment Section A Instructions: You will complete this activity for homework the night before this session is presented. Below is a list of twenty-seven statements. Use the Answer Sheet to complete this exercise. Using the Answer Sheet, circle the numbers of any of the following statements that clearly and definitely describe what you pay attention to and what you are aware of the majority of the time. Circle only the items that definitely describe you. 1. I pay primary attention to what I see. 2. I often think things over in my head. 3. I often reflect on my physical sensations. 4. I see things in my mind’s eye. 5. I like it when things fall into place for me. 6. I feel things and decisions in my heart (intuitive). 7. I make up pictures in my head. 8. I enjoy listening to music. 9. I pay a great deal of attention to my emotions. 10. I sometimes ask people to draw me a picture to explain their reasoning. 11. I talk with myself, either out loud or silently. 12. When I sit, I feel the chair. 13. I try to get a mental picture of things. 14. I often imagine hearing a dialogue in my head. 15. It is important for me to feel physically comfortable. 16. I look for the big picture. 17. I maintain attention at lectures and speeches. 18. I trust my inner voice. 19. I hate it when people block my view. 20. I like a good conversation. 21. I like physical touch. 22. I tend to write things down. 23. I prefer for a boss to explain things to me verbally. 24. I like hands-on involvement with problems. 25. I look at the person who is speaking to me. 26. I pay more attention to what people say than how they look. 27. I like to touch people when I am talking to them. Continued on next page. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 111 Section B Instructions: Below are seven pairs of statements. Choose only one in each of the following pairs of statements. Using the Response Form, circle the number in each pair that best describes you. 28. I pay attention to detail. 29. I am usually inattentive to detail. 30. I focus on one task at a time. 31. I tend to focus on several tasks at once. 32. I carry out tasks in a step-by-step manner. 33. I perform in a multi-task fashion. 34. I complete one task before moving on to another. 35. I complete tasks at inconsistent intervals. 36. I construct logical, step-by-step analyses. 37. I perform multi-leveled analyses. 38. People would describe me as well organized. 39. People would describe me as either visionary or scattered. 40. I would prefer to complete complex forms myself, rather than have someone else do them for me. 41. I would prefer that someone else complete complex forms for me, such as tax returns. Section C Instructions: Below are eight sets of three words. Read each set of three words and think of the one word in each set that you would most likely use when verbally communicating with others. Using the Answer Sheet, circle the number of the word you selected from each set. Do this for all eight sets of words. Remember, you are to select only one word out of each set of three. 42. clear 43. sound 44. feel 48. bright 49. hear 50. touch 54. see 55. listen 56. pressure 60. look 61. tell 62. push 45. flash 46. loud 47. handle 51. color 52. explain 53. grip 57. view 58. say 59. guts 63. envision 64. speak 65. push hard Continued: Answer Sheet on next page Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 112 Answer Sheet Complete this answer sheet using the information on the previous pages. When you have finished, total the number of circles you made in each column in the bottom row. Section A Section B Section C Circle all statements that describe you Circle one from each pair Circle one item in each triad Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 Column 4 Column 5 Column 6 Column 7 Column 8 1 2 3 28 29 42 43 44 4 5 6 30 31 45 46 47 7 8 9 32 33 48 49 50 10 11 12 34 35 51 52 53 13 14 15 36 37 54 55 56 16 17 18 38 39 57 58 59 19 20 21 40 41 60 61 62 22 23 24 63 64 65 25 26 27 Score for Column 1: Score for Column 2: Score for Column 3: Score for Column 6: Score for Column 7: Score for Column 8: Score for Column 4: Score for Column 5: Continued: Interpretation of Results on next page. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 113 Interpretation of Results Take notes on what you learned about yourself from this assessment as you listen to the instructor. Section A: My preferred mode for receiving information is: Section B: My preferred style of completing tasks is: Section C: My preferred mode for sharing/explaining information with others is: Source: Anita Verna Crofts, University of Washington, Department of Global Health & Department of Communication. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 114 Handout 1.4.2: Listening Self-Assessment Instructions Rate yourself using this assessment to find out how well you listen. To get a wider perspective, give copies of this assessment to co-workers, friends, and family to learn their opinions of your listening habits. Use the following scale: 1 = Never, 2 = Rarely, 3 = Sometimes, 4 = Often, 5 = Always Listening Habits 1. I give the impression that I am fully listening. Never-----------------Always 1 2 3 4 5 2. I make the speaker feel as if he or she is the center of the conversation. 1 2 3 4 5 3. I give the speaker plenty of time to talk. 1 2 3 4 5 4. I refrain from interrupting the speaker. 1 2 3 4 5 5. I look at the speaker with encouraging eye contact. 1 2 3 4 5 6. I do not fidget with objects or otherwise act distracted. 1 2 3 4 5 7. I help keep the speaker on track with paraphrasing. 1 2 3 4 5 8. I probe for deeper understanding. 1 2 3 4 5 9. I do not finish the speaker’s sentences. 1 2 3 4 5 10. I convey an attitude of openness and sincerity. 1 2 3 4 5 11. I put the speaker at ease, encouraging deeper sharing. 1 2 3 4 5 12. I ask questions that open up the discussion. 1 2 3 4 5 13. I ask questions to direct more discussion to a particular point, when helpful. 1 2 3 4 5 14. I ask questions to draw out emotions as much as fact. 1 2 3 4 5 15. I do not insert humorous remarks when the speaker is serious. 1 2 3 4 5 16. I refrain from ‘sneaking a peek’ at my watch. 1 2 3 4 5 17. I smile at the speaker and lean forward to convey interest. 1 2 3 4 5 18. I do not give the impression of ‘listening just for show’. 1 2 3 4 5 19. I create an atmosphere of trust and connection through listening. 1 2 3 4 5 20. I demonstrate empathy through listening. 1 2 3 4 5 Scoring Items scored 1-2-3 may suggest areas for improvement. Items scored 4-5 suggest strengths. Source: Wilkinson, Richard. International Training and Education Center for Health (I-TECH. University of Washington, Department of Global Health. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 115 Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 116 Handout 1.4.3: Becoming an Effective Listener 1. Stop talking. 2. Practice saying, “Take your time, I’m listening,” and really mean it. 3. Set aside your own agenda. 4. Look, act, and be interested. Be available and receptive emotionally as well as through body language. Don’t read your email, use your mobile phone, send an SMS, write notes/draw, shuffle, or tap papers while others are talking. 5. Try to appreciate the other person’s point of view. Stay constructive; don’t evaluate or offer critical remarks until the context has shifted. 6. Listen without being in a hurry to take over. Don’t interrupt. Sit still past your tolerance level. 7. Try to imagine yourself in the other’s place; feel what the speaker feels. 8. Help draw out thought and feeling by asking questions. 9. Have the speaker elaborate for further understanding. 10. Say, “Let me make sure I understand,” and then re-state the issue. 11. Be sensitive to the speaker’s feelings. Listen between the lines. Ask for clarification if something seems to be hinted or omitted. 12. Stop talking. Take a vow of silence once in awhile. Adapted from: Covey, Steven. (2003)The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People—Personal Workbook. pg. 110. Senge, Peter et al. (1994) The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook. pg. 391 Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 117 Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 118 Handout 1.4.4: Hear What Others Say Listen carefully • It is important to listen to our coworkers attentively, and respond to their concerns appropriately. • Leaders and managers should also practice good listening with partners, clients, and stakeholders! Eliminate Barriers to Communication • Managers should think about the patterns of communication in their team. • It is important to create a space where everyone learns from each other. • Removing obstacles to communication can be the key to building relationships that really work. Identify Assumptions • Conflicting opinions will frequently emerge in a group. • Discussing differences of opinion can help teams identify better solutions or approaches. • Encourage team members to ask each other questions, and to uncover hidden assumptions and the reasoning behind their conclusions. Seek to understand diverse viewpoints • Encourage team members to understand each other’s way of communicating, especially when teams include people from diverse groups and backgrounds. (Note that the communication assessment that we used earlier is an example of different communication styles.) • The same words and gestures can mean different things to different groups. Encourage people to patiently check assumptions with one another. End conflict before it spreads • When you feel yourself entering conflict, step back and examine your viewpoint. • Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and remember to thoughtfully consider their perspective. Source: Adapted from: Management Sciences for Health, 2005. “Managers Who Lead”. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 119 Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 120 Worksheet 1.4.1: Barriers to Communication Activity Communication can be complex, difficult, and frustrating because of the barriers we put in the way. In this activity, you will discuss one specific barrier to communication and how to overcome it. Instructions Read about the barrier assigned to your group. Discuss how this barrier relates to our work. Identify several examples of this barrier. Suggestion possible solutions to overcome this barrier. After 10 minutes, be prepared to share a brief 2-minute presentation. In the presentation, you will: o Explain the barrier o Share the examples o Describe some possible solutions Group 1. Physical barriers Physical barriers in the workplace include: marked out territories empires and fiefdoms into which strangers are not allowed closed office doors barrier screens separate areas for people of different status large working areas or working in one unit that is physically separate from others. Research shows that one of the most important factors in building cohesive teams is proximity. As long as people still have a personal space that they can call their own, nearness to others aids communication because it helps us get to know one another. Group 2. Perceptual barriers The problem with communicating with others is that we all see the world differently. If we didn't, we would have no need to communicate: something like extrasensory perception would take its place. Our thoughts, assumptions and perceptions shape our own realities Group 3. Emotional barriers One of the chief barriers to open and free communications is the emotional barrier. It is comprised mainly of fear, mistrust and suspicion. The roots of our emotional mistrust of others lie in our childhood and infancy when we were taught to be careful what we said to others. "Don't speak until you're spoken to"; "Children should be seen and not heard". As a result many people hold back from communicating their thoughts and feelings to others. They feel vulnerable. While some caution may be wise in certain relationships, excessive fear Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 121 of what others might think of us can stunt our development as effective communicators and our ability to form meaningful relationships. Group 4. Cultural barriers When we join a group and wish to remain in it, sooner or later we need to adopt the behaviour patterns of the group. These are the behaviors that the group accept as signs of belonging. The group rewards such behavior through acts of recognition, approval and inclusion. In groups that are happy to accept you, and where you are happy to conform, there is a mutuality of interest and a high level of win-win contact. Where, however, there are barriers to your membership of a group, a high level of gameplaying replaces good communication. Group 5. Language barriers Language that describes what we want to say in our terms may present barriers to others who are not familiar with our expressions, buzz-words and jargon. When we couch our communication in such language, it is a way of excluding others. In a global market place the greatest compliment we can pay another person is to talk in their language. Group 6. Gender barriers There are distinct differences between the speech patterns in a man and those in a woman. A woman speaks between 22,000 and 25,000 words a day whereas a man speaks between 7,000 and 10,000. In childhood, girls speak earlier than boys and at the age of three, have a vocabulary twice that of boys. The reason for this lies in the wiring of a man's and woman's brains. When a man talks, his speech is located in the left side of the brain but in no specific area. When a woman talks, the speech is located in both hemispheres and in two specific locations. This means that a man talks in a linear, logical and compartmentalised way, features of leftbrain thinking; whereas a woman talks more freely mixing logic and emotion, features of both sides of the brain. It also explains why women talk for much longer than men each day. Group 7. Interpersonal barriers There are six levels at which people can distance themselves from one another: Withdrawal is an absence of interpersonal contact. It is both refusal to be in touch and time alone. Rituals are meaningless, repetitive routines devoid of real contact. Pastimes fill up time with others in social but superficial activities. Working activities are those tasks which follow the rules and procedures of contact but no more. Games are subtle, manipulative interactions which are about winning and losing. They include "rackets" and "stamps". Closeness is the aim of interpersonal contact where there is a high level of honesty and acceptance of yourself and others. Working on improving your communications is a broad-brush activity. You have to change your thoughts, your feelings, and your physical connections. That way, you can break down the barriers that get in your way and start building relationships that really work. Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 122 Sources/Bibliography: Refer to these materials for additional background reading, as needed. Covey, Steven. (2003) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People—Personal Workbook. New York: Fireside Books by Simon and Schuster. Management Sciences for Health. 2005. Managers Who Lead: A Handbook for Improving Health Services. Cambridge, Massachusetts: MSH. Management Sciences for Health. 2001. “Developing Managers Who Lead.” The Manager, Vol 10, No. 3. Cambridge, Massachusetts: MSH. Available at: http://erc.msh.org/TheManager/English/V10_N3_En_Issue.pdf Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 123 Leadership and Management Course Session 1.4: Interpersonal Communication Participant Handbook 124