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Module Eight: Conversation •8-1 Talk to Your Neighbour • Discuss how you think you will do on the next test in this class – and why you think you’ll get the mark you think you will • Complete “Test Yourself” on page 169 of your text • Complete “How Did You Do?” • Email your interpretation •8-2 word/words to me Emotions involve at least three parts: • Body – Most obvious reactions; blushing, sweating palms, smiling. • Mind – Involves evaluations and interpretations • Evaluations of what happens have greater influence than what actually happens • Culture – Framework both for interpreting emotions and expressing emotions; saving face, revealing true feelings. Body, Mind, and Culture in Emotions •8-3 Emotions are • always important. • not the same as expressions. • communicated verbally and nonverbally. • good and bad. • contagious. Principles of Emotional Conversation •8-4 • Social rules and customs Training early in life when boys are taught not to cry and girls are encouraged to express emotions openly • Fear of exposing weakness Being vulnerable for attack and may lead to conflict • Inadequate interpersonal skills Many people cannot effectively communicate their feelings. Obstacles in Communicating Emotions •8-5 Intrapersonal Tasks • Understand your emotions. • Decide if you wish to express your feelings. • Assess your communication options. Tasks for Expression • • • • Describe your feelings. Identify the reasons for your feelings. Anchor your feelings to the present. Own your own feelings. Guidelines for Communicating Emotions •8-6 • Get ready to communicate calmly and logically. • Examine your communication options. • Consider the advantages of delaying the expression of anger. • Remember that different cultures have different norms for what is and what is not appropriate to display. • Apply the relevant skills of interpersonal communication. • Recall the irreversibility of communication. Anger Communication •8-7 • Opening: “Hi! What’s going on?” • Feedforward: “I hate to bother you, but...” • Business: “I’ve just found a new way to import a file.” • Feedback: “So, you may want to try it.” • Closing: “Got to go...” The Conversation Process: Conversation Methods •8-8 Step One: Opening • Can tell others that you’re accessible • Can reveal important information about the relationship between yourself and the other person • Helps maintain the relationship • Is generally consistent in tone with the main part of the conversation •8-9 • Open the channels of communication • Preview future messages • Altercast – places receiver in specific role • Disclaimer – ensures your message is understood and will not reflect negatively on you Step Two: Feedforward •8-10 • Exchange of speaker and listener roles • Goal-directed • Cultural taboos • Learn, relate, influence, play, help – the purpose of the conversation Step Three: Business •8-11 • Positive or negative • Person focused or message focused • Immediate or delayed • Low monitored or high monitored • Supportive or critical Step Four: Feedback •8-12 • Signals the end of access • May signal some degree of supportiveness • May summarize the interaction • May be verbal, nonverbal, or a combination of both Step Five: Closing •8-13 How to Improve Conversations • • • • • Use openings that are sensitive Use openers that acknowledge the listener Avoid using overly long feed forwards Use feed forward before a shocking message Do business with the normally expected greetings • Give feedback • Use an appropriate closing • Give clear closure •8-14 Opening a Conversation: Make references to: • • • • Self Others Relationship Context Two general rules: 1. Be positive 2. Disclose appropriately •8-15 Four conversational rules: • • Agree that you will cooperate in trying Quantity – only use info needed, omit the rest to understand each other • Quality – be truthful • Relation – talk about what’s relevant to conversation • Manner – use terms listener will understand; omit or clarify terms you think they won’t understand The Principle of Cooperation •8-16 Conversational Rules and Culture • Preserve peaceful relationships with others (Japan) • Avoid taking credit for some accomplishment, or make less of some ability or talent you have (China) • Be polite (universal) •8-17 • Leave-taking cues • Reflect back on the conversation and briefly summarize it • State the desire to end the conversation directly • Refer to future interaction • Ask for closure • Say thatConversations you enjoyed the interaction Closing •8-18 • Mindfulness – aware of your reasons; be open • Flexibility – vary messages – for different situations • Cultural sensitivity – acknowledge cultural differences • Metacommunication – verbal/nonverbal General Conversational Skills •8-19 Skills for Conversational Effectiveness • Openness: self disclose, listen, react honestly • Empathy: feel what they feel • Positiveness • Immediacy: convey a sense of interest and attention, a linking with the other person • Interaction management: satisfying to both parties • Expressiveness: vocals, gestures, cultures, feedback • Other-orientation: adapt to the other person •8-20 Computer Conversation • Watch your spelling • Remember that what you write may become public • Follow the rules of netiquette • Clean up your writing • Be explicit in your good intentions • Follow the general rules for interpersonal communication •8-21 • Have a conversation Using Conversation Stack: •8-22 Teamwork • In your teams complete 8.2 on page 197 • Hand in one paper per team • Only those team members who are present should have their names on the paper •8-23