Download Crucial Conversations

Crucial Conversations
Review
• The only way to effectively
communicate is to convey respect.
• As Maslow illustrates,
everyone needs respect.
• Therefore, they will respond if
they receive it.
• People attempt to gain respect in
many ways.
• Ultimately, we gain respect from how
we interact with others.
Creating Safety
• When communication breaks down,
people either choose silence or violence.
• When people act out in negative ways
(e.g., silence or violence), they are really
expressing an Emotional Need.
• Emotional Need
Love
Respect
Trust
Acknowledgement
Concern
Opposite
scorn; disdain
disrespect
distrust
ignoring
don’t care
• When this happens, ask
“What is their Emotional Need?”
• If you address this need, you make
progress.
• People act out because they have an emotional
need—but often resort to negative behavior to
“satisfy” it.
• This knowledge helps you to avoid demonizing
others and see them as human.
• It also levels the playing field for
communication by showing we are all the same.
•
To create safety, address the Emotional Need first,
then you can talk about the original topic.
•
Mantra
1. Step out of content.
2. Create safety
3. Step back in.
•
Sometimes, it takes awhile for the safety to sink in.
Eventually, it will lead to dialogue.
• There is no guarantee that you can get
someone to dialogue. But at the very
least, you can attempt communication in
a respectful, mature way.
• If the other person does not respond,
you now have the information you need
to make the decision that is best for you.
Journal Topic
• Which area of your communication needs the
most improvement? Why?
or
• Which part of Crucial Conversations do you
find most helpful? Why?
Activity
A. In groups, write a dialogue
between two people in which one person
uses the CC techniques.
B. After each section, label the appropriate
technique.