Download Chapter 1 - Interpersonal Communication

Introduction to Interpersonal
Communication
Dr. Michael I. Arrington
COM 252
University of Kentucky
What is communication?
What do you think communication is?
How would you define it?
Take a few moments to
write down some
thoughts…
write
Communication
 Communication is defined as the interchange
of thoughts or opinions through shared
symbols; e.g. language, words, phrases
 Some synonyms of the word communication
are: message, directive, word, contact,
commerce, communion, intercommunication,
intercourse; converse, exchange,
interchange, conversing, discussing, talking;
conversation, discussion, talk, advice,
intelligence, news, tidings
Shared symbols
 Sometimes when we communicate we
assume we are using shared symbols when
we might not be.
 Think about the term “asap”, “as soon as
possible”. What does it really mean?
 Think about how the meaning might change
in the situations on the next slide…
Shared symbols
 How might the meaning of “asap” change in
these situations?…
My wife asks me to take out the trash asap; but
UK is playing Louisville on TV.
My coworker asks for help with an article she is
writing. She needs help asap; but I have another
job to finish before lunch.
My boss, whom I like to please, asks me to talk
with a job applicant, but I already have a stack of
other jobs to finish.
Shared symbols
 In the previous examples, we’ve seen the
meaning of “asap” change from “in a few
days” to “immediately”.
 Many other words and phrases are also
vague and have different meanings for
different people.
 Shared symbols are not always completely
shared. The message intended is not always
the message received.
Principle of Communication
 Stimulates meaning in
the mind of the other
 Both verbal and
nonverbal
 Symbolic
 A process
 Functional
 Systematic
 Interactional
 Transactional
Principles of IPC
 Involves a process of
adjustment
 Every message has both
a content and relational
level of meaning
 Relationships may be
viewed as symmetrical or
complementary
 Can be intentional or
unintentional
 Communication is a
series of punctuated
events
 IPC is a transactional
process
 Inevitable
 Irreversible
 Unrepeatable
Maxims of Communication
You cannot not communicate.
Watzlawick, Beavin, & Jackson, 1967
The quality of your communication directly
affects the quality of your life.
There is no one right way to be an
effective communicator, or do an effective
relationship.
Myths About Communication
 Communication will solve all
our problems
 We need more communication
 Communication can break
down
 All communication seeks
understanding
 Communication is a good thing
 Meanings are in words
 Communication is a natural
ability
 A competent communicator is
competent across contexts
 Causality can usually be
attributed to a single action
Why do we communicate?
What do you think?
Take a few moments to
down some of
thoughts…
write
your
Why we communicate
• We communicate to:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Share our ideas and opinions
Provide feedback to others
Get information from others
Gain power and influence
Develop social relationships
Maintain self-expression and our culture
and other ideas you may have thought of
How do we communicate?
Think of the many ways in which you
communicate…
Take a few moments to
write down some of
thoughts…
your
How we communicate
We communicate and build interpersonal
relationships through:
Speech
Writing
Listening
Non-verbal language
Music, art, and crafts
Choosing your medium
 Depending upon the situation, one method
of communication may be better than
another.
In person: one-to-one
In person: meetings, small groups
In person: presentations, large groups
Letter
Memo or Note
Email
Voice mail
Text message
Choosing your medium
To determine the best medium for your
message determine:
What you as the sender need to achieve
What the receiver needs to know. What the
receiver wants to know
How detailed, important, and or personal the
information in the message is
Which behavior you want to influence and
how
Choosing your medium
 How would you communicate…
To your parents that you were getting married
To your friend that you quit your job
To your co-worker about a notice of a meeting
To a classmate that you wanted to work together
on the project
To your teacher that you were having problems in
the class
Barriers to communication
 What are barriers to communication that exist
in these settings?
School
Work
Family
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…
Barriers to communication
 Some common barriers to interpersonal
communication include:
Unclear process: The receiver and sender may not share the
same language, slang, jargon, vocabulary, symbols
Chain of command: There may be too many layers that a
message passes through between sender and receiver
Large size of an organization, geographic
distance: Large numbers of receivers require good message
sending methods
Personal limitations: Physical and mental disabilities, and
differences in intelligence and education may interfere with mutual
understanding
Barriers to communication
Additional common barriers to
interpersonal communication include:
Human nature: Peoples’ egos, prejudices, and traditions
can get in the way
Conflicting feelings, goals, opinions: If people
feel on opposite sides of an issue they may not share
Power: The idea that knowledge is power can lead to
information hoarding
 and other ideas you may have thought of
Sharing your ideas
Why and when is it necessary to share
your ideas?
Take a few moments to
down some of
thoughts…
write
your
We share ideas to…
 State an opinion or position
 Give instructions or directions
 Announce a change
 Make presentations
 Participate in meetings
 Give information in emergencies
 Communicate the organizational mission,
vision, and values
 and other ideas you may have thought of
Obstacles to sharing ideas
What can make sharing ideas difficult?
Take a few moments to
write down some of
your thoughts…
Obstacles to sharing ideas…
 Your own shyness
 Fear of rejection
 Peer pressure
 Unorganized thinking
 Others possibly becoming defensive
 Physical disabilities (impaired sight, hearing, speech)
 Having to deal with aggressive people
 and others you may have thought of
Speak for yourself…
To ensure your messages are clear,
speak for yourself, not for others:
Speaking for yourself sounds like:
I, me, my…
I think, I feel, I want to know that…
Speaking for no one sounds like:
It, some people, everyone, they decided…
Speaking for others sounds like:
We, you, John, Mary said…
SHARE your ideas – a model
State the main point of your message
Highlight other important points
Assure the receiver’s understanding
React to how the receiver responds
Emphasize/summarize your main ideas
SHARE – an example
State the main point of your message
“I’d like to talk to you the new employee welcome program”.
Highlight other important points
“We need to discuss the new schedule, locations, and presenters”.
Assure the receiver’s understanding
“Do you need me to further clarify how we are making invitations”?
React to how the receiver responds
“I understand your concern about parking”.
Emphasize/summarize your main ideas
“To wrap-up, I’ll develop the schedule and make the room
reservations, if you can line up the guest speakers”.
Getting good information
Why is it necessary to get good
information from others?
Take a few moments to
down some of
thoughts…
write
your
Get good information to…
Find out facts and details
Get directions or instructions
Try to understand another’s point of view
Help someone solve a problem
Resolve a team conflict
Solve work problems
and other ideas you may have thought of
Obstacles to getting good
information
What can make getting good
information difficult?
Take a few moments to
down some of
thoughts…
write
your
Obstacles to getting good information
 Lack of trust
 Assuming you already know it all
 Jumping to conclusions
 Not valuing diverse opinions
 Weak reading skills
 Weak listening skills
 Weak questioning skills
 and other ideas you may have thought of
Competent Communication Involves…
Having a large repertoire of skills
Becoming adaptable
Knowledge and skill
Being involved
Having empathy & perspective-taking
Being cognitively complex
Self-monitoring
Tolerating ambiguity
Being open-minded
So what makes a
“relationship”?
3 Primary Functions of Relationships
 Inclusion
 We all need to be a part of something
 We have social and identity needs
 Affection
 We all need to be loved
 Absence of = failure to
thrive (Maslow)
 We have physical needs
 Control
 All have a need to be
influenced
 All have a need to
influence others
 We have practical
needs
Continuum of Relationships
(Steve Duck, University of Iowa, 1989)
 It is impossible to have a non-interpersonal
relationship
 The basic unit of interpersonal communication is
the dyad
 There exists a continuum of relationships
between social and personal
 A relationship begins when there exists a
mutual “recognition” of the other
 Not a personal relationship until a “mutual
caring and concern exists between people”
What Makes a Relationship “Personal”?
 The interaction is
personal
 It is unique
 It is irreplaceable
 There is
interdependence
 There is selfdisclosure
 There are intrinsic
rewards