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Inequity in Empathic Support Between Cross-Sex Friends Perception or Reality? Abstract The purpose of this research is to explore the empathic inequity reported by women in their close, cross-sex relationships. How do the perceptions of cross-sex friendships and relational exclusivity influence the under benefitted/over benefitted dichotomy expressed between the sexes when communicating support? What is gender based “empathic inequity?” Among married couples, it is known as “the support gap.” A situation in which husbands report receiving more support and helpful support from their wives than wives report receiving from their husbands. Perception or reality? Research indicates that there are no gender differences in seeking or providing support. That’s the reality. However, some researchers and lay persons cling to the heuristic that men and women do support communication differently because men and women are different. That’s the perception. Where might the perception come from? • Expecting (and being willing to provide) different communication in specific relational contexts • Pursuing different individual and relationship goals related to those specific relational contexts Let’s define some terms • Specific relationship contexts means how you think about friendship (strictly platonic, potential for romance, “friends with benefits”) • Different communication refers the communication behaviors used to maintain a friendship (emotional support and positivity and instrumental support) Pursuing Relationship Goals • For women—enjoying “nice guy” companionship • For men—exploring the potential for sexual/romantic involvement Balance Individual Goals Emotional bond challenge—high social investment with no/low sexual involvement Sexual challenge—high/moderate sexual involvement with no/low emotional investment Research Design Social exchange approach—cost/benefit analysis of relationship vs. individual goals What motivates men not to offer empathic support in a strictly platonic cross-sex friendship? What motivates women to continue providing empathic support in a strictly platonic cross-sex friendship? The Results Male perceptions of friendship Strictly platonic Sex/ No Sex/ reward sex/ cost reward X No sex/ Cost X Desires romance X X Friends with benefits X X X The Results Female perceptions of friendship No sex/ Cost Strictly platonic Sex/ No Sex/ reward sex/ cost reward X Desires romance X X Friends with benefits X X