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communication Complete the communication notes • You never get a chance to make a first impression. • Communication is a big part of that impression. 3 parts to communication • Sender • Message • receiver What is in my bag? 100 thousand words • We use about 30-60 thousand 5 thousand have double meanings • Cut the onions Flip off the lights She is gay Hook up: joyce Meyers and TJ Jakes AVOID SLANG!!! • 7% of message is the actual words • 38% tone of voice, speed, loudness • 55% body language • 93% of the impression you convey to others has nothing to do with what you say. Verbal communication • Say what you mean: • See joke Be specific • See joke Don’t be too technical • See story Tone of voice • See poem paraverbals • Tone, volume and cadence WOMAN, without her, man is nothing. • WOMAN, • without her man, is nothing Body language • The most trusted form of communication body language • If someone shrinks back you are invading their space or proxemics • Pursing the lips: disapproval or concentration Licking the lips • nervousness Biting the lips • Self reproach Drawing the brow together • Anger or anxiety Slicking the chin out • belligerence Keeping the eyes down • insecurity smiling • A real smile reaches the eyes Tapping the foot • Nervousness or impatience Biting the nails • Due to feeling habitually criticized Leaning back • Relaxed or at ease Leaning forward • Shows interest Crossing the arms • defensive Looking at you sideways • mistrust Hands behind back • Defensive or uncomfortable Hunching the shoulders • A heavy burden, fear or discouragement Dilated pupils • lying Looking to the right • remembering Eyes looking to the left • Creating or lying Tilting the head to one side • sympathy • 2 partners : one cannot look at the screen game What are you thinking? • Eyes move to the lower left when asked to visualize something unfamiliar • (visual construction) • Eyes move laterally when trying to pronounce unfamiliar words auditory construction) • Eyes move to the lower left when recalling intense emotions kinesthetic feelings) • Eyes move to the lower right when remembering • (visual memory recall) • Eyes moves to the lateral and to the observers right when recalling a voice such as daffy ducks voice auditory recall) • Lower left if asked to say the pledge of allegiance to themselves auditory internal self) Body language cartoon activity • Interpret the cartoon Non verbal communication • Body movements: gestures, facial expressions, eye contact and other movement • Posture • Body position how and where you sit) • Proxemics(space Intimate zone • 0-18 inches • Giving comfort or aid • Whispering • Conversing with close friends and family Personal zone • 18 inches to 4 feet • Talking to friends or associates • Activity determine your personal space Social zone • Small group discussion • Impersonal discussion about business or small group setting • 4-12 feet Public zone • Public speaking: • 12 feet or more Activity to find your comfort zone • • • • Open ended and closed ended questions Active and passive listening Avoid why questions Parphrase listening • Hearing is a physical process • Listening is a mental process • Good listening habits: • Make eye contact • Passive and active feed back • Observe tone of voice • Passive and active listening worksheet Seek to understand questionaire • Use I statement • Complete worksheet Listening skills • Observe body language • Read between the lines • Repeat what was said for feedback: Laws for listening • Gag yourself: don’t finish their sentence • Listening worksheet • Try to find something interesting about what they are saying • Don’t fear silence, let them gather their thoughts • Assume a proper stance • Be aware of your filters: • 2 volunteers • Describe the perfect meal usually..... – Women like details – Men want the bottom line roadblocks • • • • • • Giving advice Your emotions Reassuring cliches such as don’t worry Moralizing lectures: you should ….. Requiring explanations such as why….? Ridiculing/ shaming: you should know better than too….. • Shifting subjects: yes, your grandkids are cute but I need to….. • (The “but” is the thought the person really cares about) • Criticizing: why would you stay with an abusing husband • Threatening: you will never lose weight if you don’t give up sweets • Difficult conversations • Read guidelines for fighting fair. • Legos listening activity Objective information • You use your senses: • You can hear, smell, touch, taste or see subjective • What the pt tells you that you can not sence. • E.g feeling, pain ect Color and emotions/ • • • • • • Red Stimulating Motivates action Increases expectations Heightens since of realism Used to increase enthusiasm and induce quick decisions blue • • • • • • Calming, therapeutic Loyalty Security Contentment Credibility Use when credibility and trust need to be established black • Direct, forceful, powerful, strong, formal • Use in financial reports green • • • • Life Energy Faith Discussion opinionated and self assertive • Use in presentations requiring feedback yellow • Bright, cheerful, stimulating, attractive, initiates action and ideas, seeks change, creates anxiety gray • Neutral • Lack of commitment • Escape from anxiety and discontent • Use when the audience is to make the decision