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NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION & BODY LANGUAGE THE IMPORTANCE OF NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION IN EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION PROCESS • “What is said” is not the most important part in effective communication. • In effective communication “how the message is showed” is the important part. In this regard non-verbal communication has a considerable effect in human relationship’s success. • While in communication, people not only convey messages with words but also they convey their feelings/thoughts without words. And the real things that they wanted to say is hidden in those non-verbal messages. • Non-verbal communication is a kind of communication which comes through without words but with body language elements. • People communicate with all their bodies and that’s why interpreting the non-verbal messages is the most important way to understand the people’s thoughts and feelings. • According to one of the foremost researchers in N.V.C., Birdwhistell, the average person speaks for only about ten or eleven minutes per day. • He estimates that around two thirds of the social meaning of an interaction is carried in the nonverbal channel. • If he's right, then we would do well to pay more attention to N.V.C. than we do to linguistic exchanges, which receive most of the attention in communication studies. •Edward T. Hall, an anthropologist, claims that 60 percent of all communication is nonverbal. • We can use non-verbal communication (N.V.C) instead of the spoken word or we can use it at the same time as we are speaking to reinforce our message. •N.V.C. is the communication which passes between individuals to replace or reinforce the use of words. This definition would include the following: •The use of visual forms of communication like drawing, painting, architecture, sculpture, decorative art. •Movement and dance. Ballet and mime are forms of non-verbal communication, and so is instrumental music. •The use of time. The ways in which people or organizations use time may give clues about them. Body language •Bodily contact •Physical proximity •Posture •Gesture •Facial expressions •Eye contact Bodily contact Physical contact between people is one of the most basic kinds of social act available to us. Who we touch, and when, and in what way is determined by: • • • • Age Sex Relationships Culture Bodily contact Touch is an especially important factor in the following situations: • Care of children, old people or invalids. Touch can be used to bring comfort to someone we care for. • Helping to establish friendly relationships. • Aggression. Touch used to show aggression is frequently strong and much more powerful, possibly involving grasping, hitting or kicking. We frequently make use of touch and the power of touch in social situations, such as: • Greetings and farewells. • Congratulations. • Gaining attention. • Ceremonies and so on. Physical proximity The distance we feel necessary to keep between ourselves and others. How much space we expect to have around us can be determined by: The occasion The status/relationship Culture Personality Posture The way in which an individual use and move the whole body is called posture. The following three factors may influence a person’s posture: • • • Cultural convention Attitude to/of others Emotional state Gesture •Posture describes the way in which we use and move our whole body, gesture refers to the use of part of body to communicate with others. •Like posture gesture may be conscious or unconscious. Facial expressions • • Few other parts of the body can begin to compete with the face when it comes to non-verbal communication. We send non-verbal signals using a wide range of combinations: forehead, eyebrows, eyelids, eye, nose, cheeks, lips, tongue, chin. Eye contact • • Most facial expressions are dominated by what the eyes are doing. It is said that the eyes are the mirror of the soul, so we can tell a great deal about a person just by looking into their eyes. Other ways in which non-verbal communication takes place: •Physical appearance •Use of objects Physical appearance We can communicate a good deal about ourselves without ever moving any body parts at all: • Our clothes • Our use of cosmetics on face • Our hair • Even our physique • Social norms in the form of fashion • The desire to be sexually attractive Use of objects • The possession or use of an object or objects by an individual may also communicate a message to those nearby by non-verbal means. • For some people a car is more than a vehicle for moving around it, but has a symbolic meaning. • A car may be a symbol of power or status. FUNDAMENTALS OF NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION • Non-verbal communication is a continuous process. Because; you can choose to stop talking, but the body language continues to talk and send messages. • Non-verbal communication can occur not only consciously, but also unconsciously. • Non-verbal communication gives clues about what will happen on the next step of the process and opens the doors to effective communication. • As an example; the person can be bored in the process and he/she can show this feeling with his/her body language. At this moment the communication can be stopped, delayed or the subject of the conversation can be changed. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION &BODY LANGUAGE There are 3 main elements while communicating effectively: 1. Choosing and using right words, 2. Adjusting the voice’s tone to the message that want to be conveyed 3. Using and understanding the body language and it’s elements truly WORDS %7 BODY LANGUAGE %55 VOICE TONE 38% Understanding and using body language can provide these advantages: to produce a positive effect on the others, to harmonize more easily in social environments, to understand what the other people actually want to say, with understanding the others much better; and in this regard to communicate more effectively. BODY LANGUAGE AND CULTURAL DIFFERENCES • Every nation has it’s own culture, cultural values and signs. In this regard the usage of body language can be different to culture to culture. • An individual starts learning body language in babyhood and this learning process continues from this period. Family is the main instructive for the baby in that period. And of course the family has a body language knowledge which reflects it’s own culture, so they convey this cultural body language messages to his/her baby. Universal Non-verbal signs • Are no non-verbal signs universal then? In fact, it seems that some are. It's pretty obvious all over the world that the face on the top signifies happiness and that the one on the bottom signifies sadness. An individual’s body language messages are mostly the same with the other cultures but in some messages there are little differences in the meanings. • In Turkey, this gesture is usually done while eating something and when the meal is defined as delicious. In our whole country this gesture is understood as something is “wonderful” and especially “the meal is delicious”. • In Cyprus this gesture shows anger, • In Italy this gesture shows temper and the researches has displayed that; when an Italian football player gets angry to the other player or to the referee, he shows this gesture while talking. • In Turkey and in Latin countries, this gesture is understood as a swearing. • In U.S.A. this gesture means “everything is fine, okay, there is no problem”. • In Japan, this gesture means “money”, • In France, this gesture means “worthless”, • But in every culture while scuba diving this gesture means “everything is fine under water”. • In Turkey, Europe and in U.S.A. it is a normal thing to touch and pat a baby’s/child’s or an animal’s head. That shows love, care or tenderness. • But in India and an Asian country Sri Lanka, touching a human’s or animal’s head is forbidden and bad. • Because in those countries they believe that the soul lives in head and touching head understood as an insult to the soul. THE MAIN ELEMENTS OF BODY LANGUAGE • POSTURE: People display themselves to the other people with their posture. A person’s mood can be understood with only by looking to his/her posture at that time. • To understand the mood of a person by looking posture is to look at his/her openness of chest and shoulders. INSECURE POSTURE • In this kind of posture, shoulders and the head are leaned down a little. • In this posture, individual is closed himself to environment and to the other people. • The posture means that, the individual feels insecure, sorry, troubled and uncomfortable. The individual could be feeling disturbed from the other people or business or events. • When the individual is in this posture, the voice tones gets lower, insecure and hesitant too. • The researches have shown that, if something is wanted from a person in this posture, mostly the person can not say “No” to the request. AGGRESSIVE POSTURE • In this posture, shoulders are mostly at backwards and the legs are open lopsidedly with the body. The arms could be brought together on the chest or the arms could be open and backwards. • The voice tone is mostly sharp and angry • The posture means that the individual feels aggressive and ready to argue. • If this posture is used regularly, the individual could be determined as “bothering person” by the other people. SECURE POSTURE • In this posture the arms, shoulders and head are proportional with the body. • The person who has this posture all the time means that the person is mostly has a congruity with the others, feels secure to him/herself and can build healthy relations with the other people. • The researches has shown that a person can change his/her mood with changing his/her posture. Because a person “can feel like the way he/she acts” • As an example; if a person feels insecure he can change that insecure mood by standing and acting in the secure posture. GESTURES AND MIMICS (FACIAL EXPRESSIONS) Gestures and mimics are the visual signals that conveyed to the others. • Mimics are the usage of facial muscles for expressing and communicating. • To talk about a gesture or a mimic there must be another person. Because the gestures and mimics are for to express and tell something with the body and if there is no person in front of you, there won’t be conveying feelings. MAIN GESTURES & MIMICS Expression gestures • These are biological and also psychological facial expressions and mimics to define the feelings and they are always universal. •HAPPINESS •FEAR •ANGER •SUPRISED/ CONFUSED •SADNESS •ABOMINATION SECONDARY GESTURES & MIMICS •These gestures and mimics appear unconsciously with the reflexes of the feelings. •Secondary gestures and mimics gives clues about the person’s mood. •Example: yawning when bored SECONDARY ELEMENTS OF BODY LANGUAGE PALMS, HANDS & ARMS •These are the most used body parts of the people in their everyday life. •Because people are mostly accustomed to use their palms, hands and arms while communicating, sometimes they use these while they are talking on the phone like there is a person in front of them. PALMS • These are the body parts which are mostly never recognized but handful acts are the maybe the most important body language elements. • If palms are used correctly, with them a person can have silent authority on the other people. • A person can use 3 main palm acts while communicating and conveying the feelings. • Beggar position; is the best position for effective communication. In this position palms look up. • This position represents accuracy, honesty and the openness to communication. • The researches has shown that when a person tries to tell the truth or tries to tell that he/she is honest, he/she talks with the others with open palms and shows the palms to the others unconsciously. • And researches has again shown that when a person lies, he/she closes the palms or hides the palms. • If someone knows that open palms represents honesty and try to lie with open palms, he/she gets failure. Because unconsciously the palms get closed while lying. •Dictator position: In this position palms look down to the floor. •When a person uses this position, he/she can be understood as an authoritative person. •The other people can feel themselves under threat. •Adolf Hitler could be an example who used mostly this position. •A police who tries to slow down a car or a leader of a group who tries to calm down the environment can be examples. • Threat position: In this position the palms are closed, handfuls become a biff and forefinger is on forwards. • Researches has shown that this position is mostly used by parents and teachers. • This position gives a feeling of being threatened. THE MESSAGES THAT HANDSHAKING GIVES • Handshaking style of a person gives clues about that person’s personality and hidden feelings about the other person. • In addition, handshaking style is so important because when two people meet each other at first in their lives, they shake their hands. So it is very important for first impression. •First feeling that handshaking style gives is; dominance. •If a person wants to give “I am better than you” message, he/she gives his/her hand from upper side to the other person and make the other’s handful looks up and compressed. •This means that “I am better/successful/ascendant than you”. • The second feeling that comes from handshaking style is; submission. • In this style the person feels lower than the other and wants to give the “You are better than me, and I know it” message. He/she gives the hand from down side and lets the other person compress his/her hand. • Third and the best style for effective communication is the handshaking style that gives the feeling of equality and trust. • Both people gives their hands from the same level and shakes the others hand with the same power. • In this style both the hands are perpendicular. BOTHERING HANDSHAKING STYLES • English people call this style as “dead fish” style because within this style the others hand feels like you are holding a sponge or a dead fish like there is nothing in your hand. • A person who uses this style is felt like he/she feels uncomfortable, insecure, powerless. • Second bothering style is; “power testing” style. • Within this style the person squeezes the other hands so hard that the other wants to get away from him/her. • This style contains feelings. The person who squeezes the other’s hand wants to show a hidden ascendancy on the other. •In “fingertip” hand shaking style, the person gives to the other his/her fingertips instead of hand. •The person who takes the fingertips feel himself/herself worthless and underestimated. THE MESSAGES GIVEN WITH TOUCHING TO OWN BODY People mostly touch to other people for a reason or on purpose and with consciously. But sometimes people touch himself/herself unconsciously when they feel nervous, tense and insecure. •Touching to chin means that; the person is thinking deeply and trying to decide. •The researches has shown that; when a person finishes touching his/her own chin, he/she tells his decision or solution about the situation. •Scratching the neck or face means that; the person is suspecting something or isn’t sure about the situation or the person who is in communication with. •Also when a person scratches his/her own neck/face that means; the person tries to say that “I don’t think like the way you think, but I can not tell this to you”. • Hugging himself/herself • Psychological researches has shown that a person does that because when he/she was a baby/child and whenever feels insecure, uncomfortable or fear, his/her parents hugged the person to calm down. • Now the person is applying the same calming down act to himself/herself. •Patting/touching hair act is mostly done by woman and it means that she is having stress inside and tries to find a solution to it. •Also the woman touches and plays with her hair while she is trying to take attention of the others. EYES •Eyes are the most important part of body language because they reflect the reality and real feelings. Pupil of The Eye • Pupils of the eyes reflects the true feelings because a person can not control its movements. • If someone likes a situation or someone, unconsciously the pupils of the eyes starts to get bigger. • Also pupils of the eyes starts to get bigger when the person gets frightened or excited. • Oppositely pupils of the eyes starts to get smaller when a person gets angry or feels negatively about something. Eye Contact • Eye contact is a necessity for effective communication. • Researches have shown that if a person continues talking with eye contact, the others feel that person close and trustable. • For effective communication the suggested eye contact time is %75 of the communication process. • If a person tries not to get eye contact all the time, the others won’t feel comfortable with him/her. • A person tries not to get in eye contact with 3 reasons: • He/she is lying and doesn’t want to get caught, • Feeling guilty, • Feeling powerless and defective near the other person. • Eye contact time changes to culture to culture. • Arabian people doesn’t like eye contact. • Japanese people thinks that long eye contact time is disrespect. • European and American people thinks that eye contact is a necessity. Look Types •There are 2 main types of looks and the first one is the communication look or social look. •This type looks at a triangle between eyes and mouth. •Mostly the people who know each other should use this look. •The second one is the formal look or business look. •This look is should be used when the two people are in a formal relationship or they think that they shouldn’t be so intimate with each other. •The eyes focuses only on the other person’s eyes and forehead. LEGS AND SITTING STYLES •Legs crossed sitting, is the most simple sitting style and to understand the person’s feelings/mood from this sitting we must look at the person’s mimics, gestures or eyes. •In unsatisfied sitting; there is simple legs crossed sitting style but the arms are crossed on the chest. •When a person sits like that, he/she feels unsatisfied about something and it is suggested not to ask for something from that person at that time. Because the answer won’t be positive. •In “4” or American style sitting; the legs make a “4” with the body. •The style means that there is a hidden competition. •Ankle locking position; means that the person is feeling negative about situation. •In woman this sitting style means that the woman is trying to hide a feeling or fear. •When a man sits like that; he also grabs something with two hands and it means that he is tensed from anger. •Foot locking sitting style is usually used by woman. •The style means that; the woman doesn’t want to communicate at that moment and she closed herself to the others. BODY LANGUAGE AND LIES •In their daily lives people try to hide their real feelings but sometimes and in some way they get caught. •The perceptions of a careful eye can help understand whether there is a lie or not. •The hand gestures starts decreasing when a person starts telling lies. •He/she can attempt to hide the hands like; putting them in pockets or sitting on them or holding one hand with the other. •Holding one hand with the other happens because of the need of relaxing by touching to the own body. •Touching the face or face area. Gestures start to increase when telling lies. •These can be; holding the chin, repressing the lips, hiding the mouth, touching the cheeks, touching the nose, scratching the nose, touching or scratching the ear and touching the hair. Why Do People Touch The Mouth Area While Lying? • People subconsciously know that the words are not showing the truth while lying so they strive to hold the mouth because, they can’t help it. • Touching the mouth area can happen in these ways: -Fingers can touch the lips like playing drums -Forefinger can stand on the lips. -Hands can stand on the mouth or near the mouth. Why Do People Touch The Nose While Lying? • The main reason to touch the nose while lying is physiologic. • Because a lying person becomes tense and that makes lots of physiologic changes in human body. These changes are; the increase level of blood pressure, the increase level of heart beat number and the increase level on sweat gland actions. • But the most importnant change is the itchy feeling on nose. And that’s why they have made the Pinocchio story. •When a person starts lying there is an increase on the body movements. •Especially it can easily be seen when the lying person is sitting. •He or she can starts moving to right-left or back-front on the chair. •Because he/she subconsciously wants to tell the lie and go from away from that environment. But the most important part in the face that shows the lie are the eyes. Because the lying person mostly can not look directly to the other person’s eyes. AS A CONCLUSION: •For effective communication; • Posture is very important and it will be better to be in secure posture. • Palms must be open towards the other person. • Handshaking must be trustable and equal. • Touching the own body always sends insecure and uncomfortable messages so it must be applied minimally. •For effective communication; • Eye contact is very important for effective communication so it must be done % 75 of the communication process. It mustn't be forgotten that a person who avoids eye contact could be lying or hiding something and untrustable. • The arms shouldn’t be crossed when sitting. •For effective communication; • The most important thing in interpreting body language messages is to examine the whole body language, not one by one and have a decision about the person. • Because body parts doesn’t have a meaning alone. Having skills is important, but trying to be a genius is useless. The more precious thing is to communicate ‘truly’.