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Communication Definition of Communication • Webster’s Dictionary defines Communication as the process of conveying information from a sender to a receiver with the use of a medium in which the communicated information is understood the same way by both sender and receiver Communication can be Verbal or Nonverbal • Verbal: Communication where you use your words (language). – – – – – Select the right words to express yourself Be Honest Say what you really think or feel, but be polite. Speak for Yourself-Make “I” Statements Avoid speaking for Others-Don’t assume you know what other think, feel, or want. – Be clear and direct-tone of voice revels your feelings. Don’t send mixed messages. – Be aware of your listener-Check to see that your listener understands what you are saying. – Ask Questions-Ask who, what, where, when, and how questions. These help share thoughts and feelings. Non Verbal Communication • Messages sent without using words – Touching: touching communicates through physical contact. A pat on the back says Good Job. – Personal Space: Your personal space is like an invisible bubble around you. It communicates how you want to relate to others. – Body Language: Look on your face, gestures, and body stance. – Physical Appearance: Your posture and appearance are some of the most powerful forms of nonverbal communication. Your appearance can convey your self image. Importance of Listening • The ability to listen is just as important as the ability to express yourself. • Studies indicate that 60% of communication is spent listening. • Listening isn’t the same as hearing: When you hear you are aware of the words being said. When you listen, you try to understand the message. Listening is Hard • Listening is one of the hardest communication skills to learn. You can improve your listening skills by using the following guidelines: – Give your full attention to the speaker and make eye contact. – Concentrate on what the speaker is saying, not on what you will say next. – Show your interest by leaning toward the speaker and nodding. Improving Listening Skills – Listen for the overall meaning, not just details. – Remember to notice nonverbal cues. – Avoid making quick judgments. – Resist Distractions – Don’t interrupt. Ask questions only when necessary. – Give active feedback to indicate you have understood. Having a Conversation • Conversation is sharing of ideas, thoughts, and feelings. • You must be willing to express yourself and listen to others: It’s a 2 way street. • Each person needs to be able to talk. • Ask questions to draw others into the conversation. • Avoid gossiping (talking about other people and their personal lives). Common Communication Blockers • Insulting: “That is the ugliest shirt I’ve ever seen” • Blaming: “It’s all your fault” • Name Calling: “Do you have to be such a total jerk” • Sarcasm: “Sure---You had no idea I’d mind you taking it without asking” • Threatening: “The next time you try that with me, you’ll be sorry. • Globalizing: “You’re always putting me down.” “You never let me finish what I’m saying” “I” Messages • I feel…(name the feeling) • When you….(describe the behavior) • I want….(tell what would make it better for you) Reflective Listening • When the listener mirrors back the thoughts and/or feelings the speaker is experiencing. – “Are you saying …” – “You seem …” • If the listener is wrong then the speaker can restate in a different way. Listening Blocks • I must defend my position. • I’m looking for an entrance into the conversation. • I don’t have time to listen to you. • I already know what you have to say. • I know what you should do. Active Listening • Ask questions, not with yes, no or one word answers. • Use appropriate eye contact. • Not if understand or ask for clarification. • Don’t cross arms or legs or lean back. • Lean slightly forward. • Facial expressions and tone of voice. • Be honest and sincere. Active Listening • Open-ended questions – Closed: Are you feeling bad today? – Open: How are you feeling today? • Reflection (paraphrasing) How Well Do You Listen?