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Listening
The Secret Key to Successful Communication
Eugene B. Kogan
Research Fellow
John F. Kennedy School of Government
Harvard University
HKS Communications Program
September 15, 2014
Why Is Listening Important?
1)
Allows you to demonstrate respect
2)
Enables you to avoid misunderstandings by getting your
message across effectively
3)
In sum, helps you build successful relationships
Famous expression: You only see what you know.
My favorite expression: How much you see depends on how much
you think and listen.
Listening: The Secret Key to Successful Communication
Interests vs. Positions
Position: what the person says he/she wants
Example: I need a microwave.
Interest: the reason why the person wants this
Example: I need to warm up my lasagna, which is why I
need a microwave. (But I don’t really care how you warm
up my lasagna, so an oven would work, too.)
Active listening is an effort to go beyond immediate positions to
uncover the speaker’s underlying interests.
Listening: The Secret Key to Successful Communication
Active Listening: Basic “To Do” Principles
1)
Think about what the other person is saying
2)
Demonstrate with your body language that you care / are thinking
about what the other person is saying
3)
Ask open-ended questions about what the other person has said
4)
Ask “why?”
5)
Rephrase what the other person has said
Listening: The Secret Key to Successful Communication
Exercise: Listening to Difficult Arguments
Tell the person next to you about one thing you
care deeply about (e.g., gay marriage, climate
change, etc.).
That person will make strong arguments against
your beliefs.
Your task: engage in active listening.
Introduction to Negotiation
I Want to Listen to Your Feedback
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Listening: The Secret Key to Successful Communication