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TEEN DATING VIOLENCE WHAT IS TEEN DATING VIOLENCE? Teen dating violence is defined as the physical, sexual, verbal, or psychological/emotional violence within a dating relationship. PHYSICAL VIOLENCE Pinching Shoving Hitting or slapping Grabbing Kicking Throwing Shaking Choking SEXUAL VIOLENCE Unwanted touching, fondling, or groping Forced sexual activities Pressure to have sex Violence that does not involve physical contact Threatening to find someone who will do what he or she wants sexually Verbal or sexual harassment Threats of sexual violence EMOTIONAL ABUSE Name-calling, shouting, teasing, or bullying Use of intimidation (make fearful) Use of demeaning or derogatory language Insults or rumors Threats or accusations Jealousy or possessiveness Humiliation EMOTIONAL ABUSE, CONT. Withdrawal of attention Withholding of information Deliberately doing something to make a dating partner feel diminished or embarrassed Controlling behavior, such as dictating what a dating partner can wear Isolation from friends and family Texting or instant messaging (IMing) excessively Monitoring e-mail or a profile on a social networking site NOT ABOUT LOVE Dating violence is not about love—it is about power and control. Dating violence involves a pattern of behaviors that one partner uses to try to control the other. These behaviors may include physical and sexual violence and emotional abuse. WHY DOES IT HAPPEN? Perpetrators (those who commit violence) may feel insecure or uncertain about themselves or their lives, so they may use power and control in their relationships to make themselves feel better. No matter what excuses perpetrators make to themselves or their dating partners for their behaviors, violence is still their choice. The victim is NEVER to blame The victim did not CAUSE the violence WHO BECOMES VIOLENT? The following factors may contribute to someone becoming a perpetrator of dating violence: Believing that it is okay to use threats or violence to get their way or to express frustration or anger Problems managing one's anger or frustration Hanging out with violent peers Behavior Problems at school Drug or Alcohol Use Having low self-esteem and depression Not having parental supervision and support Having more traditional beliefs about the roles of males and females Witnessing violence at home or in the community