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A. Acute Listenitis: (Also known as Knowitallism) A
hearing ailment that prevents the patient from fully
hearing the concerns of others, specifically those related
to teaching with technology. Symptoms may include
gadget obsession, bullying of the tech phobic and, in
extreme cases, the tendency to place fingers in own ears
while yelling “la la la la.”
B. Technonesia: (From the Latin Network Interruptus) A
chronic ailment that causes the patient to forget (either)
temporarily or entirely that he/she is a certified teacher
and not just a technician. Symptoms include the inability to
prioritize, a lack of self confidence and very dry skin.
C. Schedularea Nightmarus: (From the Latin chickenaceo
sans noggin). A chronic ailment often brought on by
environmental factors (such as being assigned to
supervise students in a fixed lab setting) and often
results in the spontaneous shouting of “I can’t…”
statements. Symptoms may include dry mouth,
twitching and talking to oneself.
D. Failophobia: (Also known as Little Dictator Disorder).
An ailment that prevents the patient from allowing
students to control their own learning. Any changes to the
prescribed lesson results in extreme agitation. Symptoms may
include nail biting, fist clenching and gnashing of teeth.
E. Copyrightum Fever: This neurological disorder causes
the patient to believe that copyright laws simply do not apply
to them. Symptoms may include file sharing, mild to severe
clip art rashes and, in extreme cases, incarceration.
F. DATAticulitus: An ailment in which the patient appears
to be allergic to the use of data. This easily cured ailment is
often exacerbated by the patient’s reliance on
homeopathic remedies that focus on technology as a tool
instead of seamless integration. Symptoms may include
blurred vision, repeating oneself and the inability to
hit simple targets.
G. Assumptivitus: (From the Latin Digitarus Nativitus) Patients with
this ailment typically have unrealistic expectations of beginning
teachers regarding their ability to teach with technology.
Symptoms may include frequent disappointment,
itchy eyes and the inability to match digital devices
with appropriate pedagogy.
H. Collabophobia: A debilitating ailment in
which the patient fears working with others and/or taking on a
leadership role when working with others. Symptoms may
include sweaty palms, night terrors, decreased effectiveness
and eventual extinction.
I. Move Over Mania: (From the Latin Iwouldtellyoubut
Thenidhavetokillyou). A common ailment that causes
the patient to think he/she is the only one capable
of fixing technical problems. Symptoms include
spontaneous shouting of the word “move!” and
swelling of the head.
J. Block-it Fever: This ailment is categorized by
the patient’s desire to block websites that tempt
students to “be off task.” In severe cases, patients
believe the best way to teach students (and teachers)
how to make good digital choices is to give them
no choices at all. Symptoms include extreme anxiety
and frequent twitching.
K. Curriculonesia: An ailment in which the patient
seems to have no knowledge of the NC SCOS and/or
ITES. symptoms may include memory loss and rash
decision making.
L. OTD: (Also known as Obsessive Technology
Disorder or
Gadget Gravitas). A psychological ailment that
causes
the patient to fixate on technology as the key to
student
learning. Symptoms may include muscle