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Chapter 3
Building Positive Relationships through Nonverbal Communication
Nonverbal Communication- composed of actions rather than words.
Includes facial expressions-hand and arm gestures-postures-positions in spacemovements of the body, legs, and feet. Also includes, paralinguistic, or vocal,
behaviors, speech errors or pauses, speech rate, and speech duration.
Functions of Nonverbal Communication
1. Emblems-gestures such as handshaking, nodding the head, or waving the
hand, and American Sign Language.
2. Metacommunication- a communication about how to communicate or
talking about how to speak; requires thinking about the way one
communicates; in play, it sets the frame for the fact that play is going on
or a statement is meant as a joke. Facial expressions can convey a notion
about the way the total message is to be interpreted.
3. Serve an adaptive need rather than function as a communication signal
like someone scratching their head because it itches or because they’re
confused.
4. Clothing, posture, tone of voice, facial expressions, and gestures provide
information to others about social position.
Channels of Nonverbal Communication
One of the modes or types of nonverbal communication
Nonverbal communication is a major medium of communication in everyday life.
1. Position in Space
“Personal space,” radiating from the center of the body, has specific
boundaries.
1 ½ to 4 ft. casual interaction
4-10 ft. for social or consultive contact
10 ft. or more for public interaction
a. Internal space-the area between the inner core of the body and the
skin and is the most intimate and personal of all spaces. (mouth, ears,
nostrils, etc.)
b. Proximal space- the area between the body and its covering of
clothing, hair, or ornament. This means that, ordinarily, people do not
touch portions of another’s body that are clothed and limit touching
the skin of others except when invited.
c. Axial space-bounded by the full extension of the arms and legs in all
directions.
d. Distal space-is located between the axial boundary and the outer limits
that the eye or ear can scan. The knowable world, the impersonal
world, exists in distal space.
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It’s important for professionals to understand the implicit rules of interpersonal
space for three reasons- Can generate negative feelings-distance between
communicators-definitions of personal space, intimate space, etc.
2. Body Motion-how you move towards or away from someone, and
terminate the interaction.
3. Body Orientation-the position of the body in relation to the front of the
body of another conveys meaningful information
4. Gesture-movements of the hands, arms, and body accompany speech
may be used to illustrate a word, such as moving the hands apart to show
how large a fish was, or striking your fist down on a table. May be an
insult such as using the middle finger of your hand.
5. Touch-situations in which touching occurs may be the most intimate,
loving experience, or the most hostile, angry, or hurtful ones.
The skin is both a communication sender and receiver.
Touch is used to control or to influence others, such as grasping a hand.
Two factors influence the quality of tactile communication: the quantity
(how much touching takes place) and the region of the body where one is
touched.
The accessibility of the body to touch is limited by age, relationship, and
gender.
Men frequently initiate backslapping and handshaking, but the regions of
the body that are acceptable to touch are more limited.
6. Facial Expression-the most obvious component of body language, also the
one we try and control the most.
The smile is one of the earliest facial expressions acquired.
Cultural meanings of smiles varies: western European smile to greet,
Japanese children greet with a sober face.
7. Eye Contact- Gaze is associated with dominance, power, or aggression
and also with attachment and nurturing.
Latino(a) white Americans tend to engage in longer eye contact during
conversations that Europeans and African Americans.
Eye aversion also is used to indicate turn taking in normal conversation. In
Western cultures, people tend to look more when listening than when
speaking.
African Americans consider eye-to eye gazing as rude, a put down, or a
confrontation. The pattern to look down to show respect is common to
Japanese. Puerto Ricans, and Mexican Americans.
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Paralinguistics
Paralinguistics are the sounds people make that carry meaning but are not
used as regular words in a sentence, or the way in which a speaker say
something.
Nonlexical sounds, or sounds that are not words, are produced by everyone
and can serve all the functions of nonverbal speech (coughing, sneezing,
spitting, belching, etc.).
Rhythm of speech is composed of different stresses on words, the length of
time sounds are held while speaking], and pauses.
Hesitations, or pauses in speech; increases in intensity; whispering, and
silence.
Whispering or simply mouthing words may be interpreted as attempts at
secrecy or intimacy. Silence is another powerful communicator.
Adult Abuses of Nonverbal Behavior
Some forms of paralinguistics, body motion, and gesture are not appropriate for
adults who work professionally with children. The use of these behaviors
communicates that adults cannot be trusted or that they do not like or care for
that child.
1. Baby Talk- professionals should not use baby talk in interacting with
children because it is insulting to the child and confuses meaning.
2. Yells-Screams, shouts, roars, howls, etc have unique qualities of volume,
pitch, and tone that demand attention. However, adults should never
scream or yell at children. Shouting across the room for children to be
quiet, although common, is particularly ineffective and inappropriate.
3. Hurtful touching- Adults should never physically injure children.
Communication About the Relationship
Teachers or caregivers must be mindful of our own nonverbal messages and be
sensitive to the cultural interpretations children are likely to make of these
messages.
1. Time- our concept of time vs. children’s? We must learn how others
interpret time. In American culture, being fast is equated with being
intelligent or being efficient. Adults who take the time to listen to a child
demonstrate that the child is important and the conversation is
interesting.
2. Warmth-is communicated entirely nonverbally.
3. Power- Adults have the power!
Assertiveness- interact in close, physical proximity, eye contact, voice tone
Non-assertiveness- implies lack of control of the situation or unwillingness to
act responsibly.
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The Impact of Mixed Messages
1. Mixed Messages-A communication in which the spoken words and one or
more nonverbal channels communicate conflicting meanings.
Sarcasm- combines negative lexical (word) content and scathing tone of voice
with a pleasant facial expression. Even between parent and child, sarcastic
“joking” by the adult is perceived as ridicule by the child.
Children’s Acquisition of Nonverbal Communication Skills-Nonverbal
communication skills are acquired gradually by children from the adults in their
families, schools, and neighborhoods.
Guiding Children with Adult Nonverbal Behavior-Thoughtful observation
and deliberate choices of nonverbal messages enable the adult to be more
sensitive to children and more effective when communicating emotions and
expectations.
Pitfalls to Avoid
1. Giving inconsistent nonverbal messages or nonverbal messages
inconsistent with the verbal content.
Do not smile when you’re angry or admonishing the child.
2. Acting before thinking
Using a loud voice and speaking slowly will not help a child who doesn’t
speak the language; or passing judgments based on appearance
3. Hurting children
Hitting children with a pencil or ruler; yanking them in line or holding them in
place forcefully.
4. Using baby talk
Used by parents for affection but shows a lack of respect and can make
communication unclear.
5. Interrupting children
Let the child speak! Do not complete sentences, do not hurry them along,
instead listen and provide a positive example for the children.
6. Shouting, bellowing, shrieking, or screaming at children
More effective ways to get the child’s attention and it may be frightening for
the children and indicates an adult may have lost control.
7. Calling to children across the room
Walk over to the children or situation in question and assist the children with
solving the problem.
8. Placing your hand over your mouth, on the chin, or otherwise covering
your face and mouth.
Give the children an opportunity to see your face clearly so the message is
clear.
9. Ignoring family members who are in reasonably close proximity.
Ignoring them gives the impression of indifference or of being rude.
ECE120
Building Positive Relationships Through Nonverbal Communication
Chapter 3