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Unit II: Building Self-Esteem and
Self-Confidence and Interpersonal
Communication
Chapters 3 and 4
Self-Esteem
Understanding the self is important. A particularly important role is played by
self-esteem, the overall evaluation people make about themselves whether
positive or negative.
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Our self-concept is what we think about ourselves whereas self-esteem
is what we feel about ourselves.
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How Self-Esteem Develops
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Self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives based on
interactions with people, events, and things.
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People who were encouraged to feel good about themselves and
their accomplishments by others are more likely to enjoy high selfesteem.
Praise alone does not build self-esteem. Instead, it results from
accomplishing worthwhile activities and then feeling proud of these
accomplishments.
To develop self-esteem people need to improve their skills for dealing
with the world.
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The Consequences of Self-Esteem
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Self-esteem is important for career success.
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High self-esteem leads to good mental health. One reason is that
high self-esteem helps some situations from being too stressful,
such as being insulted. Yet people with high self-esteem profit from
negative feedback.
Self-esteem is a critical source of competitive advantage in an
information society because it is associated with such behaviors as
being creative and innovative and taking the initiative to solve problems.
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Workers with high self-esteem are more likely to be able to cope with
new challenges regularly because they are confident they can
master their environment.
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The Consequences of Self-Esteem
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High self-esteem can have some negative consequences particularly
because individuals with high self-esteem work hard to preserve their
high status relative to others, such as undermining them.
High self-esteem can lead to an unrealistic view of oneself, as well as to
intolerance of people who differ from one’s self.
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Envy is another potential negative consequence of high self-esteem.
The consequences of self-esteem are related to its source. People who
evaluate their self worth on how others perceive them and not on their
value as human beings often suffer negative physical and mental
consequences.
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Enhancing Self-Esteem
Attain legitimate accomplishments:
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Accomplishing worthwhile activities is a major contributor to self-esteem.
To be real, self-esteem must be based on something true. Social science
research suggests this sequence of events: Person establishes a goal
person pursues the goal person achieves the goal
person develops
esteem-like feelings.
Be aware of personal strengths:
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Developing an appreciation of strengths and accomplishments can
improve self-esteem. A good starting point is for a person to list his or her
strengths and accomplishments on a word processing document or
paper.
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Enhancing Self-Esteem
Rebut the inner critic:
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Rebut the voice inside you that sends negative messages about your
capabilities. Rebutting critical statements made about you might also be
considered another way of appreciating your strengths.
Practice self-nurturing:
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Treat yourself as a worthwhile person. Nurture and care for yourself in
ways that show how valuable, competent, deserving, and lovable you
really are. One example is to administer self-rewards for a job well done.
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Enhancing Self-Esteem
Minimizing setting and interactions that detract from your feelings of competence:
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Minimizing exposure to situations in which you do not feel at your best can lead to fewer
feelings of incompetence. Yet it is good for self-esteem to conquer situations in which you
feel challenged.
Get help from others:
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Self-esteem is strongly shaped by how others perceive us so getting help from others is a
major step a person can take to improve his or her self-esteem.
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A way of getting help from others is to talk and socialize frequently with people who can
boost your self-esteem.
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People who can raise your self-esteem are usually those with high self-esteem
themselves. The same people will give you more honest feedback. Weak people may
flatter you, but not offer the honest feedback you need to build self-esteem.
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The Importance of Self-Confidence
and Self-Efficacy
Self-confidence is almost the equivalent of self-esteem. Self-efficacy is
confidence in your ability to carry out a specific task, in contrast to
generalized self-confidence. Self-efficacy relates to job performance, and
self-confidence is associated with leadership.
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Feelings of self-confidence stem from five sources of information:
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actual experience
2.
the experience of others, or modeling
3.
social comparison
4.
social persuasion, or the process of convincing another person
5.
emotional arousal including managing emotions
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Building Your Self-Confidence
Develop a solid knowledge base:
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Solving problems from a base of facts helps project a confident image. Formal education is
very important, and day-by-day absorption of career-related information is also important.
Use positive self-talk:
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To appear self-confident, use positive self-talk, or saying positive things about your self.
The first step is to objectively state the incident that is casting doubt about self-worth.
Avoid negative self-talk:
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Minimize negative comments about yourself to bolster self-confidence. For example, do not
say “I may be stupid but…” or “Nobody asked my opinion.”
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Building Your Self-Confidence
Use positive visual imagery:
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To use positive visual imagery, or picturing a positive outcome in your mind. imagine
yourself performing well in an upcoming situation that represents a challenge.
Set high expectations for yourself (the Galeta effect):
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Setting high expectations and succeeding is likely to boost self-confidence. The Galeta
effect is a type of self-fulfilling prophecy in which high expectations lead to high
performance. You expect to win, so you do.
Develop the explanatory style of optimists:
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Explaining events in an optimistic way can help preserve self-confidence and self-esteem.
When experiencing trouble, optimists tend to explain the problems to themselves as
temporary.
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Building Your Self-Confidence
Strive for peak performance:
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A key strategy for projecting self-confidence is to display peak performance, or exceptional
accomplishment on a given task. Peak performance requires total focus on the task at
hand, leading to being mentally calm and physically at ease.
Bounce back from setbacks and embarrassments:
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Overcoming setbacks builds self-confidence. An effective self-confidence builder is to
convince yourself that you can conquer adversity such as setbacks and embarrassments.
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Get past the emotional turmoil. You must accept the reality of your problem, avoid
panicking, and get help from your support network.
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Find a creative solution to your problem. An inescapable part of planning a comeback
is to solve your problem, often searching for a creative solution.
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Interpersonal Communication
Communication is the sending, receiving, and understanding of messages. It
is also the basic process by which managers, customer-contact workers, and
professionals accomplish their work. Communication skills are a success
factor for workers in a wide variety of jobs.
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Steps in the Communication
Process
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Sender (or source) sends message
Message goes to receiver
Channel (medium) is chosen
Receiver gets message and reacts
Feedback from the receiver
Environment influences reception
Noise can disrupt communication
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Relationship Building and
Interpersonal Communication
Communication is a vehicle for building relationships.
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One dimension is dominate-subordinate.
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When we dominate we attempt to control communication. When we
subordinate, we attempt to yield control, or think first of the needs of
the other person. The cold-warm dimension also shapes
communication.
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The combination of dominant and cold communication sends the signal
that the sender of the message wants to control and to limit, or even
withdraw from, a personal relationship.
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Nonverbal Communication in
Organizations
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Nonverbal communication refers to the transmission of message through means other than words.
These messages accompany verbal communication and sometimes stand alone.
Seven categories of nonverbal messages are:
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Environment
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Interpersonal
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Distance
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Posture
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Hand gestures
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Facial expressions and eye contact
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Voice quality
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Personal appearance
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Attention paid to other person
Nonverbal communication can be improved by such methods as obtaining feedback on your body language
and learning to relax while communicating with others.
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Guidelines for Improving Nonverbal
Communication
Understand the receiver:
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Understanding the receiver involves developing empathy, or placing yourself in the other
person's shoes. Understanding the receiver also involves recognizing the receiver's
motivational state, which includes any active needs and interests operating at the time. It
is important to understand the person's frame of reference, the fact that people perceive
words and concepts differently because their vantage points and perspectives differ.
Minimize defensive communication:
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Defensive communication is the tendency to receive messages in such a way that our
self-esteem is protected. Such communication is also responsible for people sending
messages to make them look good. Overcoming these barriers is difficult because of
denial, or the suppression of information we find to be uncomfortable.
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Guidelines for Improving Nonverbal
Communication
Repeat your message using multiple channels:
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Repetition enhances communication, particularly when more than one channel is used to
get the message across.
Check comprehension and feelings through verbal and nonverbal feedback:
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Feedback tells us if the message has been received as intended. Action, of course, is even
more conclusive. Feedback is also important because it reinforces the sender. Check for
feelings after you have received a message. When you send a message, it is helpful to
express your feelings.
Display a positive attitude:
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Being perceived as having a positive attitude helps melt communication barriers because
most people prefer to communicate with a positive person. Being positive helps make you
appear more credible and trustworthy.
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Guidelines for Improving Nonverbal
Communication
Use persuasive communication:
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An elegant tactic for overcoming communication barriers is to communicate so
persuasively that obstacles disappear.
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Suggestions for persuasiveness include:
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Know exactly what you want.
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Never suggest an action without telling its end benefit.
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Get a yes response early on.
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Use power words (e.g., transparent organization).
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Minimize raising your pitch at the end of sentences.
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Talk to your audience, not the screen.
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Back up conclusions with data.
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Minimize “wimp” phrases.
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Avoid or minimize common language errors.
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Avoid overuse of jargon and clichés.
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Guidelines for Improving Nonverbal
Communication
Engage in active listening:
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Improving one’s receiving of messages is another part of developing better
communication skills. The active listener listens intently with the goal of empathizing
with the speaker. As a result of listening actively, the listener can feed back to the
speaker what he or she thinks the speaker meant.
Prepare for stressful conversations:
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Communication barriers will frequently surface when two or more people are
engaged in conversation fraught with emotion, such as giving highly negative
performance feedback, or even giving praise. One technique for reducing stress here
is to prepare in advance for the conversation. Be aware of how you might react in the
situation.
Engage in metacommunications:
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Communicate about your communication to help overcome barriers to resolve a
problem.
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Recognize Gender Differences in
Communication Style
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People who are aware of gender differences in communication style
would face fewer communication barriers between themselves and
members of the opposite sex. Major findings about gender differences in
communication style include:
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Women prefer to use conversation for rapport building.
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Men prefer to use talk primarily as a means to preserve
independence and status by displaying knowledge and skill.
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Men prefer to work out their problems by themselves, whereas
women prefer to talk out solutions with another person.
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Women are more likely to compliment the work of a coworker,
whereas men are more likely to be critical.
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Recognize Gender Differences in
Communication Style
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Men tend to be more directive in conversation, whereas women
emphasize politeness.
Women tend to be more conciliatory when facing differences,
whereas men become more intimidating.
Men are more interested than women in calling attention to their
accomplishments or hogging recognition.
Men tend to dominate discussions during meetings.
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Reference
Dubrin, A. J. (2009). Human relations: Interpersonal
job-oriented skills (10th ed.). Upper Saddle
R i v e r, N J : P r e n t i c e H a l l .