Download Chapter 5: Communication

CHAPTER 5:
COMMUNICATION
Kilgore
 Action
WORD BANK
 Reflecting
 Active
 Relaxed
 Barriers
 Resolution
 Blaming
 Conflict
 Learned
 Self awareness
 Body language
 Descriptive
 Mixed
 Sender
 Checking out
 Distracting
 Negotiation
 Communication  Feeling
 Compromise
 Non verbal
 Shared
 Thought
 Frown
 Ownership
 Gestures
 Passive
 Verbal
 I statements
 Placating
 You statements
 Identify
 Prejudice
 Intention
 Receiver
COMMUNICATION
 Communication= an exchange of information between two or
more people.
 Two way process that includes sending and receiving messages.
 Communicating a clear message is not always easy!
 Poor communication can cause a serious misunderstanding.
 May give the wrong impression.
 Speaking, listening, reading, and writing are all forms of
communication.
TYPES OF COMMUNICATION
 Nonverbal communication= a way of sending and receiving messages
without using words.
 Includes body movements such as facial expressions, eye contact, and
gestures.
 Hugging, holding hands, physically close, eye contact, body language, etc.
 Verbal communication= the use of words to send and receive messages.
 Sharing one’s feelings, listening, heart-to-heart talks, caring words.
 Speaking and writing are forms of verbal communication.
 Communication skills can be learned. As a child, you learned to communicate
by imitating sounds.
NON-VERBAL
COMMUNICATION
At home, you often know when family members
are feeling happy, sad or angry without a word
being spoken.
Nonverbal communication helps you
understand emotions.
Be aware of the nonverbal messages you send!
PROXIMITY
 Can indicate interest & attention.
 Where we sit (proximity) indicates levels of intimacy.
 Moving away indicates desire to terminate
conversation.
 Moving closer usually one exchanges cues to avoid
chance of rejection.
 Cultures differ in degree of acceptable closeness.
BODY LANGUAGE
 Body language involves sending messages through body
movements.
 Facial expressions, gestures, and body motions are examples
of these.
 Body language can communicate different messages to
people of different cultures or backgrounds.
 Non verbal messages can also reinforce or contradict what
you say.
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
 Eye contact is an important part of your facial expressions.
 Direct eye contact helps convey a message that you care
and are interested in what someone has to say.
 Looking away when someone talks communicates that you
are not interested.
GESTURES & MOTIONS
 Gestures may help emphasize spoken words so that others
understand the meaning.
 The way you sit, stand, or walk while communicating also sends
a message.
 Crossing your arms sets up a barrier to communication.
 Good posture shows confidence.
 A warm hug communicates affection!
GENDER DIFFERENCES IN
COMMUNICATION
Women
Men
Smile more, more emotional, claim less
 Disclose less personal info

 Safer topics like sports or work.
space, more eye contact.
 More profanity & harsh words.
 More dominating of
conversation.
 Traditional roles inhibit
communication.
 Wives send clearer messages to
husbands, are more sensitive & responsive,
husbands may not reply at all or withdraw.
 Usually wives want change & husbands
withdraw with the most to gain by doing so.
 Women set the emotional tone in a
family.
ACTIVE VS. PASSIVE LISTENING
 Passive= hearing words without actually listening.
 Active= sending a signal that you are listening such as
nodding or verbally responding.
 Checking out= using questions to clarify a message. Ex.
“Where did you say this happened?”
 Reflecting=repeating in your own words what has been
said. Ex. “What your saying is…”
“I” MESSAGES
 I messages are used during those difficult times when you
must assert yourself and confront someone about his/her
unacceptable behavior so that a solution to the problem
can be negotiated.
 I messages communicate the problem.
 I feel…when…because.
“I” MESSAGES ALLOW YOU TO…
 Confront people in a positive way.
 Be open, honest, and straightforward about a
person’s unacceptable behavior.
 Avoid putting people on the defensive.
 Appeal for help in solving the problem.
 Communicate ownership of the problem.
“YOU” MESSAGES
 YOU MESSAGES are totally ineffective because they
contain language that sounds abrasive, judgmental,
condescending, or injurious to the self-esteem of the
person confronted.
“YOU” MESSAGES ARE NEVER
WELL RECEIVED BECAUSE…
 They make people feel guilty
 They can be interpreted as blame, put downs,
criticism and rejections.
 They communicate a lack of respect for others.
 They often cause reactive or retaliatory behavior.
 They damage the recipients self-esteem.
 They cause resistance rather the openness to
change.
 They can make a person fell hurt, the resentful.
 They are often perceived as punitive.
POSITIVE COMMUNICATION
PATTERNS
 Stroking= using positive and encouraging comments.
 Using praise can create a positive climate!
NEGATIVE COMMUNICATION
PATTERNS
 Blaming= a pattern in which people accuse others for
everything that goes wrong.
 Placating= a pattern of communication in which people will
say or do something just to please others or keep them from
getting upset.
 Distracting= another poor communication pattern in which
people just ignore unpleasant situations.
SELF-ESTEEM
 People with a high self-esteem are more confident at
communicating their message.
 People with low self-esteem may have more problems
communicating effectively.
 When sending messages, a person with low self-esteem may
fear that others will reject their ideas. May be afraid to let others
know what they really think and feel.
EMOTIONAL STATE
 When emotions are intense, both messages and strong
personal feelings are being communicated.
 If you are angry or upset, your words may not mean exactly
what you feel.
 Your communication will not be clear!
 Take time to calm down before you communicate the wrong
message.
COMMUNICATION BARRIERS
The most common barriers to good communication are:
• Closed minds= shut out or ignore opinions that are
different.
• Mixed messages= not saying what you really mean.
• Prejudice= forming opinions without complete
knowledge.
• Poor listening skills= distracted listener.
SKILLS FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION
 Conflict= when two people disagree.
 Conflict resolution= skills that help you resolve a problem.
 Steps to resolve a conflict:
•
•
•
•
Identify the problem.
Identify who owns the problem.
Accept ownership.
Solve the problem.
NEGOTIATION AND COMPROMISE
 Negotiation= when people alternate between sending
and receiving messages in order to reach an agreeable
solution.
 Compromise= a five and take method that allows both
people to express themselves.
 No one person wins or loses.
 Both give in a little to reach a solution.