Download Using Good Communication to minimize Conflict

Avoiding Conflict Through
Effective Communication
Presented By Columbus Area
Labor-Management Committee
Meredith Porterfield, Program Manager
Providing Constructive Feedback
Used appropriately, constructive
feedback can:
• Check perceptions
• Avoid misunderstandings
• Reinforce the good behaviors, help with
positive new behaviors
• Can help individuals strengthen and grow
• Build relationships instead of destroy
Providing Constructive Feedback
Constructive feedback should never be done
in a way to hurt a person or cause any
damage
Providing Constructive Feedback
What Should Not Be Done
• Want to maintain or build a person’s selfesteem, not destroy it
• Should not be threatening or eliminate a
threatening environment
• Don’t give when upset or angry but must
be timely
Providing Constructive Feedback
Guidelines:
• May need to be done privately
• Think before you speak
• Consider the other person
• Watch vocal tone and non-verbals
• Focus on the future, way to help
• Offer help to make changes and
• Use “I” messages instead of “you”
messages
Providing Constructive Feedback
What’s a “YOU” message?
An ineffective message
Examples:
• You really aren’t doing your job!
• Clean up this mess! (You implied)
• You better change your attitude!
Providing Constructive Feedback
Problems with “you” messages:
• Communication ceases
• Can make people angrier
• Put on the defensive
• Damages relationship and any future
attempts of building one
• Assumes guilt or fear will help change
behavior
Providing Constructive Feedback
Using “I” messages:
• Reveals what a person is feeling and why
– allows for venting
• Focuses on the issue, not the person
• Honest, open
• Better opportunity to continue relationship
• Puts more accountability on the other
person to change
Providing Constructive Feedback
“I” messages:
• 3 parts:
 Express feelings
 Description of the behavior
 Effects
• Example:
I resent it (feelings) when weekly reports are
late (describes behavior) and I have to
work late to finish my work (effects)
Providing Constructive Feedback
Other examples:
It frustrates me when someone comes late
to the meeting and we have to spend our
limited time providing updates
It makes me angry when I’m interrupted
because it makes me hard to make my
point
Providing Constructive Feedback
Practice:
A worker in the department leaves the break area
messy with dirty cups and dishes and other
trash.
Come up with an “I” message. Identify the feelings,
behavior and effects.
You need information from another person to finish
your project but that person keeps putting off
giving you the information even though you have
asked several times.
Come up with “I” message. Identify the feelings,
behavior and effects.
Avoiding Conflict Through Effective
Communication
• For more information, assistance or
facilitation for your next meeting, contact:
Columbus Area Labor-Management
Committee
http://calmc.org