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Unwrapping Writing Woes Kaye Price-Hawkins Priceless Literacy 2401 S. Willis, Suite 108 Abilene, TX 79605 www.pricelessliteracy.homestead.com [email protected] The Scoring Continuum 2 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 1 (Limited to Basic) (Basic-Satisfactory) Weak Ineffective Vague/General Uncontrolled (Satisfactory-Accomplished) PROGRESSION DEVELOPMENT WORD CHOICE SENTENCES CONVENTIONS Strong Effective Precise/Specific Well-Controlled Basic Problems Rhetorical: PROGRESSION DEVELOPMENT WORD CHOICE Mechanical: SENTENCES CONVENTIONS “Everything is mitigated by developmental considerations.” -Victoria Young Development: Coherence Ideas are expressed clearly and logically (WORD CHOICE). Supported with details, reasons and examples. Helps the reader follow the writer’s intentions. Cohesion (PROGRESSION) Writing flows--is linked together well at the: sentence level paragraph level whole text level. How do we teach development? Create Anchor (Mentor) texts (read like a writer) opportunities Professional (whole class) Peer by groups (STAAR released—move up one level at a time) Workshop Mini-lessons Writing (Process) Conference (questions) Revision (various processes) Re-writing (multi-drafts) Word Choice Replace or remove awkward or over-used expressions misused terms or words unclear pronouns jargon garbled syntax colloquialisms clichés Construct a clear thesis statement Include strong verbs to energize writing Clarify the message with specificity Ratiocination Example: WORD CHOICE—Verbs Joyce Armstrong Carroll’s Code Clue concrete approach to teaching grammar: a color-coding technique Verb that focuses students on problematic areas in their writing. Decode Active vs Passive Voice Tenses (correct, consistent) Linking Verb vs Action verb Etc. Grade 4 Expository The Low End of an Accomplished Performance Borrowed from TEA (Victoria Young’s 2015 power point) I love spending time at a baseball park. I love all the people screaming when you smash a ball out of the park or when you field a grounder and gun it to first base and the ump yells OUT! My favorite part of spending time at a baseball park is just being able to set foot on the dark green grass and the orange, brown dirt. It makes you feel like a real pro. Sometimes I just walk to the mound and practice my windup, or I may step up to homeplate and practice my stance and my swing, but when its game time I act serious no horseplay, no goofin around. I act like it’s the World Series and we’re playing against the number one team. Grade 4 Expository The Low End of an Accomplished Performance, cont. My other favorite part is sitting in the dougout. This is the time in a game where you can relax, get a drink, and eat some peanuts, and you get to put on your helmet and batting gloves, choose your bat and go hit. I love spending time at a baseball park. It just makes me feel good to spend time there. I love to play baseball. I’m playing up this year, and I’ve already smashed one ball out of the park and I’m sure I’ll do it plenty of other times to. Grade 7 Expository The Low End of an Accomplished Performance Borrowed from TEA (Victoria Young’s 2015 power point) I beliee that laughing is a very important part of a person’s life. I can’t begin to think how different my life would be if I hadn’t heard a funny joke or hear someone make a funny noise and just laugh as hard as I could. My family is very humorous, so I laugh a lot more than other people. My dad is very funny, he is the funniest person I know and he makes me laugh every day. If I laugh every day, then laughing must be important. Laughing can change the ecosystem in a room, filling it with joy and happiness. I remember the first time my little cousin laughed, and everyone in the room was suddenly filled with joy, saying “Did you hear that? Grade 7 Expository The Low End of an Accomplished Performance, cont. That was his first laugh!” I don’t even remember why he laughed, but I remember him laughing for the first time. From a baby’s first laugh to an old man’s deep chuckle, laughing is one of the most important things in a person’s life. Everyone that has laughed experienced joy, delight, mirth, and most importantly humor. That is why laughing is important to me. English I Expository The Low End of an Accomplished Performance Borrowed from TEA (Victoria Young’s 2015 power point) The world is full of people. Throughout history people have made mistakes. One wrong move and you fall on your face. Elect the wrong man and the world goes to war. Turn down the wrong road and your paralized for life. Failure scares the world. How will you take it? Do you lay down and get infected or do you get up and put on a bandage. Just because you fail doesn’t mean you should quit. In life when you make a choice you are expected to deal with the consiquences. That means you don’t spoil your winnings or burn your third place medal. People deal with loss indifferent ways. No matter how you do it, the point is you do it. Ask for some help getting back up and walk away. English I Expository The Low End of an Accomplished Performance, cont. If you fail you are given the ability to learn from it. Every man needs a touch of humility and failure is the number one source. You always get something for everything you do. Hopefully once in a while you get a lesson. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Failure gives you room to change. Experience is everything. What you do and say is an example of what you know. That is how we shape the world. Unwrapping Text—Layer 1 Using Mentor Texts Read once for pleasure Reread at least once for author’s craft (STAAR R&E) Which sentence could be added after sentence 8 to strengthen the introduction to this paper? Which transition word or phrase could BEST be added to the beginning of sentence 27 to help conclude this paper? How can Tasha revise sentence 7 to more clearly establish the thesis of this paper? Tasha wants to provide a better closing for her paper. Which of the following could best be added after sentence 30 to support the previous ideas and bring a humorous conclusion to the paper? Apply the process to their rough drafts. Reread with pencil or highlighter to mark the text Examining a Mentor Text Ralph Fletcher suggests a triangular schema to allow students to connect with the text or notice aspects of the texts in a democratic approach… Word/Phrase Tone or Language Craft Elements Structure/Organization Subject or Theme People usually focus on what they are ready to see. Use that as a building block of your teaching. Sources for Mentor Texts Articles Stories and Memoirs Novels (excerpts) Speeches Poetry Plays (excerpts) Multi-genre Unwrapping Text—Layer 2 Build confidence in your readers/writers Imitation promotes practice and skill (Jeff Anderson’s books) Comfortably move from one level of accomplishment to a more sophisticated structure Increase variety on student work Poetry helps focus on word choice and detail (Recreation and Reader Response) Add other text structures to develop fluency and genre focus Unwrapping Text, continued Peer Models Analyze writing from peers Easier to be objective Making suggestions for others prepares the students for that same kind of analysis for their own writing Personal Writing Spot various grammatical structures If they can find it, they are half-way there! If they are using various structures in their writing, affirm them and name the process. Identify usage (correct or not) Unwrapping Text, continued If “wordiness" affects your writing quality… Sentence-combine to tighten your writing Use repetition ONLY if it serves a purpose. Reduce phrases that use 3 to 5 words when fewer words would do. Use stronger descriptions and verb choices instead of adding adjectives and adverbs. Grammar Vision Image Grammar (Harry Noden, 2011) Focusing on grammar’s power to make movies in our readers’ minds Grammar: “a power derived from images” Ideas Brushstrokes = Artistic Sentences Painting with Participles Absolutes Appositives Adjectives Shifted Out of Order Action Verbs Passage (excerpt from HOLES) Grammar Instruction Explore Images from Films of Bestselling Novels: Show a 2 to 3 minute soundless movie clip Ask students to write brushstroke phrases that describe the character’s actions or attitude during the second viewing and use those phrases to write a paragraph. Ask the students to read the novel version of the same scene they witnessed in the movie and read their own descriptions to look for similarities. Grammar Instruction, 2 Tour a Writer’s Gallery (samples) Enlarge and post writing samples (professional pieces—novels, newspapers, etc.) around the classroom. Have groups visit the pieces and discuss the techniques they observed the authors using. Ask them to list several of the phrases and words they noticed. Have students experiment with those same techniques. Samples: Grammar Instruction, 4 Improve your Image Ask students to enter their own writing and look for the same strategies/brushstrokes that they have practiced. If they don’t see any, they need to experiment with some. Ask volunteers to share with the class their “before” and “after” make-overs—Discuss: action or cosmetic? Beware of extraneous adjectives (weakest: lists of colors and attributes). Grammar Vision Mechanically Inclined (Jeff Anderson) Grammar is a tool to help the reader and writer “see.” Ask your students: “What do you notice?” “What do you like about the sentence?” “What happens if we change…” Lessons for teaching grammar: Mignon Fogarty provides a popular online resource in addition to her book: The amazing Gretchen Bernabei has published two more books! Resources: Anderson, Jeff. (2007). Everyday Editing. Stenhouse. --- (2005). Mechanically Inclined: Building Grammar, Usage, and Style into Writer's Workshop. Stenhouse. --- (2015). Revision Decisions. Stenhouse. Bernabei, Gretchen. (2015). Grammar Keepers: Lessons That Tackle Students' Most Persistent Problems Once and for All, Grades 4-12. Corwin Literacy. ---. (2012). The Story of My Thinking: Expository Writing Activities for 13 Teaching Situations. Heinemann. Burke, Jim. (2008). The English Teacher’s Companion. Heinemann. Campbell, Cathy. (2008). The Giggly Guide to Grammar. Discover Writing Press. Carroll, Joyce Armstrong and Edward Wilson. (2010). Brushing Up on Grammar. Libraries Unlimited. Carroll, Joyce Armstrong. (2011). Ratiocination. Absey & Co. Fogarty, Mignon. (2008). Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing. Holt Paperbacks. --- (2011). Grammar Girl’s 101 Misused Words You’ll Never Confuse Again. St. Martin’s. Gallagher, Kelly. (2011). Write Like This: Teaching Real-World Writing Through Modeling and Mentor Texts. Stenhouse. Jago, Carol. (2002). Cohesive Writing. Heinemann. Knapp, Peter and Megan Watkins. (2005). Genre, Text, Grammar. University of New South Wales Press Ltd. Newkirk, Thomas. (2014). Minds Made For Stories: How We Really Read and Write Informational and Persuasive Texts. Heinemann. Noden, Harry. (2011). Image Grammar: Using Grammatical Structures to Teach, 2nd Ed.. Boynton/Cook, Pub. ---. (2011). Image Grammar: Second Edition: Teaching Grammar as Part of the Writing Process. Heinemann. Petersen, David. (2007). Reading English News on the Internet. Lulu.Com. (new edition: 2011). Smith, Michael W. and Jeffrey D. Wilhelm. (2007). Getting It Right. Scholastic. Thurman, Susan. (2003). The Only Grammar Book You’ll Ever Need. Avon. MA: Adams Media. Weaver, Constance. (1996). Teaching Grammar in Context. Boynton/Cook Publishers, Inc. Woods, Geraldine. (2010). English Grammar for Dummies. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley Publishing, Inc.