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What’s your response - flowing together. Is anyone here a fan of the board game monopoly? Hopefully we all know what monopoly is? For those of you who don’t, it’s that family friendly game, based generally on London streets where the aim is to become the person who owns everything; to monopolise the game; to be the one with all the control. Personally, due to my competitive nature, I try to avoid this game like a plague but once in a while there comes a point when playing is unavoidable...and one of those unavoidable chances came last summer when on a family holiday, Jonah was asleep and Annie and I found ourselves tv-less, book-less, phone reception-less and only the monopoly board available. Things started well for me, I thankfully landed on some great properties, Piccadilly, Oxford Street, The Strand, Bow Street, a train station or two, or three, things were looking good. I had staked my claim on the bottom left of the board, all the yellow and green ones – something special about Yellow and Green! and my wife was in prison with only the purples and oranges, things were falling into place, I was jovial, flashing the cash, laughing and joking, until suddenly Annie escaped from her bonds with lucky double and proceeded to build houses on all her properties expect one – FLEET STREET – where she plonked a big fat hotel. And the rest is history, within 3 goes I was bankrupt, every journey around the board saw me land on FLEET STREET – or another hotel that she paid with through my hard earned pounds. 3 goes to bring down my empire and see my mood drastically change, I was fuming, stomping around, refusing to talk, I had gone from mr big shot to mr grumpy, sulking and refusing to engage in conversation. Seems totally stupid right? I mean it’s just a board game, but isn’t it amazing how often the way we interact with people can change when things aren’t going our way, or that we don’t get our own way. Or am I the only one? Maybe you’ve experienced it in a different way; -‐ Things are going great at work, a potential promotion is coming up but it goes to someone else who in your opinion works nowhere near as hard -‐ Having to take directions from someone else, who is less experienced than you or worse still younger -‐ Perhaps it was when you didn’t get your own way in that discussion with your partner, siblings, friends or work colleagues -‐ Or when somebody else’s idea was picked ahead of yours -‐ Perhaps you voiced your concern about something but nothing was done about it -‐ Maybe you find yourself in transition and things aren’t going the way you thought they would The way we interact and flow with people in our lives is of vital importance, especially when something doesn’t go our way and that’s why today I want to discus something we at Proclaimers refer to; as flowing together or a little word called submission. For a lot of people we can enjoy the idea of submission....when it’s about people submitting to us, flowing in our direction, following through on our idea. SUBMISSION IS EASY WHEN IT’S NOT BEING TESTED. But when it comes time to be tested, when it’s us having to flow with them or submit to them – what’s our response? Often we can view it as a negative word, we think of submission as having lost out, being the weaker person, the loser, the youngest, and our natural response can be “I don’t like this – this is humiliating - I’ve had enough”. Submission can be a controversial topic causing fall outs, bitterness, bossiness, splits in work-places, friendship circles, families and churches and that’s why it’s so vital that we take time to look at how we can flow with other people. We read in Matthew chapter 20 a story of a mother coming to Jesus with her two sons and asking him a favour – never a good start when it’s your mum coming to ask on your behalf! Despite the embarrassment of her sons, she asks Jesus if he will allow her two sons to sit on his right and left in his Kingdom to which Jesus responds: 22 “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?” “We can,” they answered. 23 Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father.” Now this did not go down well with the other disciples; 24 When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers (Annoyed, cheesed off, mad, angry, annoyed, furious). 25 Jesus (obviously He heard all that was going on) called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” So here we are looking at a bit of a fall out between Jesus friends and followers – it’s almost impossible to imagine, the disciples didn’t get annoyed or angry at one another, they lived in perfect harmony! That’s what we should be aiming for right?! Or that’s so often how we imagine – but here they are falling out with each other too, they tried to get one up on each other, they struggled to flow together well. This is itself –makes you feel better! But what is at the centre of this falling out? What’s the real issue? Is it the fact they got their mummy to ask? Is it that they asked for the seats? Or is it the fact that the other disciples wanted to be the ones who sat there? They wanted that seat of importance for themselves; they wanted to the one who was ahead of everyone else, they desired to be recognised, they wanted to be the prominent one. And isn’t the same true for us, when we struggle to flow with others could it be that we want our voice to be heard, our thoughts to be acted upon, our desires met. We all long for recognition, to be seen, to be heard, we desire prominence. As we said earlier, we don’t mind the issue of submission when it comes to people having to submit to us and go with our ideas and our ways but Jesus flips the whole human nature on its head when HE says ‘whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant’. -‐ The greatest threat to a family unit, husband wife, siblings etc, -‐ the greatest threat to teamwork in an office or group of volunteers, -‐ the greatest threat to being able to flow well together with the people in your world and for us here as a church is me, myself and I. My idea, my favourite, my choice, my wants, my time, my money, my turn, my rights. As I look at the group dynamics of what Jesus did with His followers here I can see how He showed them it’s not about being served by others, having your way, getting the best seat or your turn, but He showed them how to flow well together by serving others, being a group who care more about significance by putting others first, than we do prominence. A key to flowing together is about significance not prominence. Prominence says: what can you do for me? When does my voice get heard? When do I get a turn? Significance says: what can I do to help you? What can I do to help the team? What can I do to achieve our goal? Significance is about adding value to the lives of others. It can be so easy for us in different situations and settings to want things to work out our way. But submission doesn’t mean I don’t have a mind or an opinion on things but it recognises that the greatest posture in life is to put others first. Jesus shows us that the key to greatness isn’t about prominence and getting the best seat and having everyone work around you, but it’s about seeking significance as we ask others ‘what can I do to help you?’ So what might this look like for us? How can we flow together with others? • Put personal preferences aside – I don’t like this song so i’m not singing, I don’t like that idea so i’m not going to do it • Genuinely listen to others – how else can I help? Not about having the answers or giving our opinion, but looking at how we might help • Not always having to have an opinion – time to get behind what someone is doing • How we speak about each other – gracious – don’t jump on someone – have their backs – even when it goes wrong – saying I told you so • After decisions that have been made we back it – not corridor talk • Letting go of an offence • Developing tolerance with people who can irritate us • Changing our perspective Submission is a position of service. And it’s not a position of weakness or failure or incompetence, instead it’s a position of strength and wisdom and, in Jesus’ words, greatness. Live a life of significance, not prominence and you will see an outstanding impact on the lives of the people you do life with as you find you flow well with them. Just talk to the Christians for a moment: God is building a home. He's using us all—irrespective of how we got here—in what he is building. He used the apostles and prophets for the foundation. Now he's using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together. We see it taking shape day after day—a holy temple built by God, all of us built into it, a temple in which God is quite at home. Eph 2:21-22 (Msg) These scriptures help us understand our part in the church. That each of us, being built together, is what makes the church. It’s not just an attendance thing but it’s about us being cemented together through thick and thin, it’s about becoming established and part of the very fabric of the organisation. And as more of us allow ourselves to become cemented in it adds strength, stature and influence to the church; each of us providing support to the other, creating a platform for others to build on. Often when we look at a wall we can see that not all stones are the same size or shape. It has to my chipped and formed and sized up to fit into its allotted space within the structure. And the problem is that really we don’t like this! What this looks like for us as living stones is allowing the Holy Spirit to work in our lives to shape and form us to being all that God has intended for us to be. And this can look like: -‐ forgiving someone who has hurt us, -‐ letting go of an offence and building a bridge to move on, -‐ developing tolerance and patience with people who irritate us, -‐ dealing with pride, -‐ allowing significance to be the thing that drives us rather than prominence But it can still feel hard can’t it? Even if as I have been talking you’re sitting here thinking – yea I have got a personal preference, actually someone did say something that hurt me, I do think my idea is the best idea and it must be my turn by now... Let’s not be naive as to pretend this stuff never crops up! HOW do I deal with this?!! The answer lies in the verse ‘Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together’. It’s not simply about effort; about thinking “I’m going to love that person, even if they do annoy me” – or about saying “I’m going to forgive that person” inevitably that person will wind you up or all those memories will come flooding back, the ONLY way it works, the only way all of us with our different backgrounds, experiences, ages, bank balances can come together to build something great, is when we each keep Jesus as the foundation on which we are building our lives. As the cornerstone Jesus is the one that sets the entire structures position and we become out of alignment when we don’t keep Jesus as our focus and basis. We can deal with hurts and frustrations and disappointments when we keep fixed on Jesus – on His purpose and cause and not my dream and my gifting – when we allow the word of God to shape how we respond to situations and to mould and shape us so that we fit together each of us aligning ourselves with Christ. The reason we can flow together is because of a common purpose in Jesus Christ. Imagine your life having significance about helping to see others grow, imagine what our church could become, of the influence it could have, imagine the impact that Jesus could have in the lives of your friends and families In a moment I am going to give you the opportunity to respond to Jesus. 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”