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THE GAME OF LIFE
DARREN HINDLE’S STORY & PHILOSOPHY
BACKGROUND
“One thing that really helps me is hearing other people’s stories. It makes me realise that I am never alone.
We all have, at times, a battle to fight.”
“If your heart’s not in it, don’t do it”
WHO IS DARREN HINDLE?
Darren Hindle is the founder of Transition Sports, a basketball centre
that prides itself on growing, supporting and inspiring young players
both on and off the court. An elite-level basketball player in his teens,
Darren has developed a unique and successful coaching method
based on his life philosophy and experiences as a player, parent and
coach.
Though he is best known as a larger-than-life, big-hearted and outgoing person, Darren has overcome some major life obstacles to be
the person he is today: a loving husband, father and the founder of a
company that inspires young adults to be the best they can be. This
is his story.
DARREN’S STORY
Approximately one in five people will experience an episode of clinical depression in their lifetime.
While we all feel sad, moody or low from time to time,
some people experience these feelings intensely, for long
periods of time (weeks, months or even years) and sometimes without any apparent reason. Clinical depression is
more than just a low mood – it’s a serious illness that has
an impact on both physical and mental health.
Depression has a variety of symptoms and will affect
everyone in different ways. Symptoms include: feeling extremely sad or tearful; disturbances to normal sleep patterns; loss of interest and motivation; feeling worthless or
guilty; loss of pleasure in activities; anxiety; physical aches
and pains; impaired thinking or concentration.
Source: BeyondBlue.org.au, Sane.org, Psychology.org.au (2014)
“If you need me I’ll be there for you”
PART I: THE DIAGNOSIS
In the year 2000, Darren Hindle was earning a large salary as an
electrician on Melbourne’s docks. He owned his own home, was
married to a loving wife with whom he was raising happy, healthy
kids. Externally he appeared to be living a perfect, happy life, yet
internally he was struggling with feelings of sadness, negativity,
emptiness and anxiety. After seeking the advice of medical professionals, Darren was diagnosed with clinical depression.
Though it’s advised that sufferers of depression work to reduce
stress in their lives, around this time Darren decided to start his
own electrical business (in addition to his full-time job, a role which
required long hours and shift-work). This side business added extra
pressure on an already exhausted Darren, and the symptoms of his
depression continued.
After three years of running himself into the ground and burying
himself in work, Darren made the decision to put his health first
and resigned from his job on the docks. People said he was crazy
to leave such a well-paying role, but being self-employed meant
he was able to face and work through his depression, spend more
time with his family and keep normal working (and sleeping) hours.
Things were looking good.
DARREN’S STORY
“Practise what you preach”
PART II: THE ACCIDENT
Excerpt from the journal of Darren Hindle:
“Good Friday, 2003: At 9.40pm, my best mate and I jumped into
a 3-metre aluminium boat that was driven by a family friend. All
three of us had been drinking that day and none of us should have
climbed into the boat, let alone drive it. It was dark, there were no
lights on the boat, we weren’t wearing life jackets, the river was low,
we were unfamiliar with the area, we were going fast and worst of
all, the driver was intoxicated. I was sitting on the front bench of the
boat, my mate was in the middle and the driver was at the rear.
We were on our way back to the place we were staying, when all
of a sudden there was a big bang and I was thrown into the front
alcove of the boat. I remember lying on the floor, winded and struggling to breathe. I was disoriented and had no idea what just happened. I struggled to sit up and went to turn to the others, only to
find them no longer in the boat. Then I started to panic, screaming
their names and screaming for help.”
“Practise what you preach”
OUR SELECTION PROCESS
“Before I knew it there were boats on the river searching for the
other two. That night the bodies weren’t found, the search was
called off and police divers were called in the following day. The
driver’s body wasn’t found til Saturday afternoon, my best friend’s til
Sunday morning. The water police informed me that we’d hit a tree
stump and were thrown so far over to the side of the river, it was like
a car driving on the footpath.
Even though death didn’t come for me, I carry the burden of being
the sole survivor of a tragic accident. This burden will stay with me
forever. How am I going to live with this?”
DARREN’S STORY
DARREN’S STORY
“It’s not the tragedy that breaks you, it’s what follows that does”
PART III: THE AFTERMATH
Surviving the boat crash was only the beginning of Darren’s struggle. Following the incident, he experienced feelings of overwhelming
grief and disappointment in himself - for getting into the boat drunk
and allowing the others to do the same. He was also struggling to
live with the guilt of surviving - being a constant reminder to the deceased’s families that their loved ones were gone, feeling bad about
being sad when he should be grateful to be alive, and couldn’t stop
asking himself the question ‘what if?’.
As well as experiencing guilt, Darren was growing increasingly
angry with those around him. Instead of being there for him
and listening to him, people would come up to him to dispatch
unwanted advice, try to solve his problems, or say unhelpful
things like ‘I understand what you’re going through’ (“How the
hell do they know what I’m going though?”) and ‘only the good
die young’ (“Does it mean I’m a bad person for not dying with my
mates”?). Though these remarks were often well meaning, they
caused Darren to lash out in frustration at those closest to him,
causing irreparable damage to some of his closest relationships.
“I really work to understand the player. What their goals are, why
they’ve come to me, their confidence level and what sort of family
support they have”
KNOWING OUR PLAYERS
Darren turned to medication and alcohol to cope with the disturbing
thoughts and intensely uncomfortable emotions he was experiencing, This self-medication resulted in him falling asleep at the wheel
and wrapping his car around a power pole. But this life-threatening
accident, the second in a mere six month period, was not the end of
Darren’s woes. In the period following the accident, his much-loved
grandfather passed away, he lost another close friend, his wife miscarried and almost left him, and an electrical switchboard blew up in
his face, once again threatening to take his life.
It became evident to Darren that he was not coping, and that his behaviour was affecting his family, friends and business. As he writes
in his journal, “I felt like I was losing at life based on the decisions
I was making”. After once again consulting a medical professional,
Darren was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
DARREN’S STORY
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a particular set
of reactions that can develop in people who have been
through a traumatic event - they have experienced or witnessed an event that threatened their life or safety, or that
of others around them.
Strong reactions such as fear, horror, anger, sadness and
hopelessness are natural after events like these, but when
these feelings are intensely distressing and go on for more
than four weeks, they may be symptoms of a more persistent condition such as PTSD.
About 25% of people who are exposed to traumatic events
develop PTSD. As well as being very upsetting, the symptoms interfere with the person’s ability to carry on their
everyday life, work and relationships.
Symptoms of PTSD can include:
• Flashbacks of the traumatic event through intrusive
memories or nightmares. As well as strong emotions,
there may be physical symptoms such as sweating,
heart palpitations or panic attacks.
• Feeling emotionally numb and avoiding situations
that are reminders of the trauma. Avoiding possible
reminders of the trauma can cause someone to lose
interest in day-to-day activities and become detached
from friends and family.
• Feeling anxious and ‘jumpy’ for no reason. Heightened vigilance can mean the affected person is constantly on the lookout for danger, possibly leading to
irritability and a lack of concentration.
Source: BeyondBlue.org.au, Sane.org (2014)
DARREN’S STORY
“Once you’re on a team with someone, you’re team mates for life”
DARREN’S SYMPTOMS
On top of his ongoing battle with depression, Darren now had a new
demon to manage: PTSD. During this period Darren experienced the
following thoughts and emotions (and still wrangles with them now,
10 years on):
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Waking up in the morning wishing I hadn’t
Persistent worrying about negatives
Feeling that the bad outweighs good
Suffering in my own misery
Dwelling on the past
Doubting every decision made
Feeling like I’d lost my way in life
Feeling like for every step forward, I am pushed two steps back
Being scared to live for the future
Not wanting to live, yet not wanting to die
Wishing the days away
Existing because I have to, not because I want to
“A team is only as good as its worst player”
TURNING POINT
The PTSD diagnosis came as a relief – there was a medical reason
he was feeling this way and he was not alone. However as with
his experience with depression, Darren knew that he had much
independent work to do on himself in order to learn to live with this
illness, acknowledging in his journal that “Problems won’t heal by
themselves, no-one can solve my problems but me”. Darren realised
that continuing his destructive behaviour and avoiding his issues
would only further hurt himself and those around him and made a
decision to take responsibility for his life moving forward. Through
a lengthy process of counselling, journaling and self-discovery, developed a set of tools, coping strategies and healthy attitudes that
have allowed him to accept his experiences, manage his depression
and PTSD, and thrive as a leader in his community.
THE GAME OF LIFE
“Once you’re on a team with someone, you’re team mates for life”
LIFE LESSONS & PHILOSOPHY
With a background in basketball, it was helpful for Darren to view
the life challenges he was experiencing from a sporting perspective.
By taking a step back and viewing life as a game, Darren was able
to use the tactics he’d developed in his early basketball career to
manage the difficulties of everyday living.
“The game of life comes with no rules or instructions, as everyone’s game is different. All I can do is try to control of how
my game is played.”
HOW TO PLAY
It’s easy to get caught up with expectations: comparing yourself
and your life to images in the media, your peers and succumbing to
parental pressures. Prior to the accident, Darren was living what society and those around him deemed to be a ‘successful’ life: working in a high paying job, running a thriving side business, owning
an expensive car and house. But what happens when life interrupts
your upward climb and presents you with unwelcome challenges?
Through this whole process, Darren has come to accept that everyone’s path in life is different. Everyone has unique obstacles thrown
at them, and their personality and prior experiences will determine
how they react. He came to understand that there is no right or
wrong way to live or deal with situations, and that finding a way to
be that is true to himself and his circumstances is of great value.
“Live and play the way you wish. Not the way someone
else wishes for you”
THE GAME OF LIFE
“I used to believe that success was determined by how well
off you were financially. Now being successful means surviving another round of the game: if I can battle emotional,
physical or mental challenges, I believe I am a success.”
WINNING
Darren spent much time re-evaluating his goals and now focuses
his energy on things which bring him the most joy and satisfaction:
growing himself, giving back to the community, being there for his
family and looking after his health.
“In the game of life there is no true winner or loser;
everyone is playing a different game.”
“I believe I was put into this game of life for a reason:
to be challenged mentally, physically and emotionally
just like everyone else.”
WHY PLAY?
Though there are times when the prospect of giving up briefly
crossed his mind, Darren’s fighting spirit and ‘never give up’ attitude
have seen him battle on through life’s problems. His experiences
have made him appreciative of what he has, accepting of his circumstances and given him the inspiration to help others.
“I could never comprehend how anyone could stop playing the
game. They must’ve gone through the most dark times and just
see no way of getting out. It breaks my heart. I am lucky that I
have so much to live for and I will always keep playing”.
THE GAME OF LIFE
“Life will always be the hardest, most challenging game I will ever
play. There will be days I hate playing, there will be days I can’t be
bothered playing, and there will be days I love playing it.”
MOTIVATION
Though he has come a long way, Darren is realistic about himself,
his conditions, and life in general. Everyone has good and bad days,
and for Darren, it’s particularly unsettling to wake up each day not
knowing if the day will be a mental/physical struggle.
But in life, as in basketball, no-one is 100% on game 100% of the
time. Darren has come to understand the value of showing up and
continuing to play in order to develop himself and support those
around him. On his journey he developed an attitude of appreciation, even in challenging times:
“No matter what, I wake up and enjoy the fact I get to
live another day”
“Once the cards are dealt, the next move is up to you. Life may have
dealt you a bad hand, but it’s how you choose to deal with it that
counts. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it’s a matter of choice”
ACTIONS
At the darkest points of his depression and PTSD, it was easy for
Darren to wallow in his situation: “I felt I had been dealt a shitty
hand… I had been hit hard physically, mentally, emotionally and
financially”.
But Darren is a firm believer in taking responsibility for one’s self.
Though there were some things that were out of his control, he had
the clarity to know that there were steps he could take to maximise his chances of getting things back on track. He acknowledged
the bad decisions he’d made in the past and made a conscious
decision to learn from them: “I will make right decisions and I will
definitely make wrong decisions, but I intend to learn from every
decision I make”.
“My future is not set in stone, there are many choices to make.
Some will be easy, some difficult. But I must always remember
that for every action there is a reaction.”
THE GAME OF LIFE
“When you’re losing money in a game of cards sometimes you try
doubling up to try to re-coup your losses. But because you’re on such
a losing streak your money troubles are doubling by the minute.”
PATIENCE
In the period following the accident, Darren felt like he was on a
losing streak. He turned to quick fixes and distractions such as
alcohol, medication, burying himself in work and helping others to
escape his own problems.
However at a certain point he “came to realise there is no quick fix
or time limit to my problems. It’s a process that can’t be rushed, but
that needs to be chipped away at bit-by-bit – just like mastering a
skill in basketball. There will be losses and wins on my journey, but
patience is the key.”
“There will be losses and wins on my journey, but patience is the key.”
“I know my depression and PTSD will always be there,
and I will struggle with it every day, but there’s no point
wishing my time away and hoping for a better day.
Even though the game may be tough, I have to move
forward and keep playing”
TRANSITION SPORTS
“At Transition Sports, we strongly believe that the lessons
kids learn on court will help them in their off-court lives:
at school, in the workplace and in social settings.”
DRIBBLING
After a lengthy period working on himself and his business, Darren
felt ready to give back to the community. An opportunity presented
itself when his wife volunteered his coaching services at their son’s
local club. Darren’s team lost their first six games, but with his
continued coaching and mentorship went onto win their next 14,
making the finals of the 4th best league in Victoria.
As Darren continued to coach teams to victory, his reputation in
basketball circles grew and in 2010 he opened Transition Sports – a
basketball facility that offers individual and team coaching services
to young players.
People come from across Melbourne to be coached the ‘Transition
Sports way”, with Darren implementing his own life lessons and
strategies in Transition Sports’ coaching methods.
“When selecting a drill it is important to understand the concept
from start to finish, as well as knowing how using it can help the
individual or team. Ensure every part of the drill is technically
correct, no short cuts to be taken.”
SUPPORT
Transition Sports coaches are known for the positive way they
interact with and inspire players. They understand that some of their
kids may be dealing with difficult circumstances at home, school
or work, and endeavour to provide an environment where kids feel
supported, no matter what may be happening off the court.
BELONGING
Being a teenager can be a difficult, sometimes isolating experience.
Transition Sports believes that sport is one of the best ways to bring
kids out of their shell and find a place of acceptance amongst their
peers. TS players play for each other as much as themselves, and
coaches place much emphasis on team bonding with rituals such
as the locking of arms before a game and encouraging ‘loud and
proud’ verbal support between team members.
SELF-BELIEF
It is important to us that each individual is acknowledged and encouraged. TS coaches provide players with positive encouragement
to perform on-court, giving them the confidence, self-assurance and
courage to do great things in life.
TRANSITION SPORTS
“A wrong decision is better than an indecision”
SELF AWARENESS
A big part of Darren’s recovery was his ability to step back, honestly
assess his situation, and take the necessary steps to improve it.
Similarly, Transition Sports players are taught to observe, analyse
and fix any problem areas in their game. Transitions Sports believes
that empowering kids with self-awareness gives them the ability to
independently monitor, progress and improve themselves and their
circumstances.
CONTINUAL DEVELOPMENT
“You never know it all, there is always room for improvement”. At
Transition Sports, players and coaches are expected to be honest with themselves and their weaknesses, and take the necessary
steps in grow and improve for the benefit of themselves and the
team.
“When selecting a drill it is important to understand the concept
from start to finish, as well as knowing how using it can help the
individual or team. Ensure every part of the drill is technically
correct, no short cuts to be taken.”
INDEPENDANT THINKING
TS kids are discouraged from blindly following orders and encouraged to question, be creative and come to their own conclusions on
the best outcome for themselves and the people around them.
DECISION MAKING
You can’t always predict how a basketball game will unfold, just as
you can’t always predict what life will throw at you. Transition Sports
players are taught not to let pre-formulated strategies control them
and instead use their own judgment to respond to circumstances
in the moment. Players are equiped with the tools needed to react
to the situation they’re in, and instilled with the confidence to make
independent decisions on and off the court.
INTENTION
One of Darren’s favourite sayings is “Don’t hope for it to happen,
intend for it to happen”. Transition Sports teaches all their players to
act with intention and belief - there is no half-hearted hoping that a
pass will reach its target, nothing is done for the sake of it, or done
without understanding of how an individual’s actions will affect the
themselves and the team.
TRANSITION SPORTS
We strongly believe that the lessons kids learn on
court will help them in their off-court lives: at school,
in the workplace and in social settings.
UNDERSTANDING ACTIONS
It’s important that all TS players understand the logic behind every
move they make: that they aren’t mindlessly completing drills for the
sake of it, or blindly enacting plays because the coach told them to.
Transition Sports believes this mentality develops players who aren’t
afraid to trust their instincts and take measured risks during a match
and in life.
MISTAKES
On-court and off-court, we all make mistakes. With Darren as a
prime example, Transition Sports kids know that mistakes are not
the end of the world, and it’s how you learn and bounce back from
them that determines how successful you are as a player.
“When selecting a drill it is important to understand the concept
from start to finish, as well as knowing how using it can help the
individual or team. Ensure every part of the drill is technically
correct, no short cuts to be taken.”
WINNING
In sport, as in life, winning isn’t everything, which is why TS
coaches are less concerned about the scoreboard and more
concerned about the progression of an individual and the team.
A kid may not be the best or most victorious player, but Transition Sports guarantees they will leave the court a better player
than when they first stepped on.
LONG-TERM DEVELOPMENT
As Darren so painfully learnt after the accident, quick fixes just don’t
work. Developing players for the long-term is Transition Sports’ priority, even at the expense of short-term loss. TS players are taught
not to expect instant results, but to know that with hard work and
constant practise, a positive outcome will be achieved.
TODAY
LIFE LESSONS & PHILOSOPHY
After successfully building the TS coaching centre from 2010, Darren has now realised that Transition Sports’ reach is too small to
help everyone who needs it: supply is not meeting demand! He is
now developing courses that will teach inexperienced coaches the
technical and mental aspects of successfully coaching young adults
- further spreading Transition Sports’ philosophy of support, positivity and independent thinking.
As well as being his job, Transition Sports (along with his family) has
been Darren’s reason to get out of bed for the past couple of years:
“I don’t know what I’d be doing, if I wasn’t helping kids”. Teaching
and mentoring his young players has been of as much benefit to
him as he has been to them.
“It has been a tough 10 years, life has tried to break me physically
and mentally, but I am still here living and grateful – everyday I wake
up and fight the fight.”
LIFE LESSONS & PHILOSOPHY
Darren has accepted that depression and PTSD will always be a
part of his life, but has progressed to a point where the good days
outnumber the bad: “Before, I would have 20 good days for every
80 dark days. Now, for every 20 dark days I have 80 good days”.
Though he still struggles with negativity, sadness and wishing the
days away, Darren is now able to use the lessons and knowledge
learnt on his journey to try to stay positive, give things a go and
keep moving forward, one day at a time.
RESOURCES: MENTAL HEALTH
LIFELINE
A national charity providing all Australians experiencing a personal
crisis with free access to 24 hour crisis support and suicide prevention services.
Crisis hotline: 13 11 14 www.lifeline.org.au
BEYOND BLUE
Beyondblue’s work is aimed at achieving an Australian community
that understands depression and anxiety, empowering all Australians, at any life-stage, to seek help.
Crisis hotline: 1300 22 4636
www.beyondblue.org.au
SANE AUSTRALIA
A national charity helping all Australians affected by mental illness
lead a better life – through campaigning, education and research.
Crisis hotline: 1800 18 SANE (7263)
www.sane.org
BLACK DOG INSTITUTE
The Black Dog Institute is dedicated to improving the lives of people
affected by mood disorders through our high quality translational research, our clinical expertise and our national education programs.
www.blackdoginstitute.org.au
RESOURCES: LIFESTYLE
CAMP EDEN HEALTH RETREAT
A place to nurture mind, body and spirit, Eden offers superb facilities, a support team of expert health professionals and delicious
organic nourishment.
1800 074 157 www.edenhealthretreat.com.au
GWINGANNA HEALTH RETREAT
A place to connect with supportive professionals who teach resilience in the modern world. Guests choose how much or how little
they wish to do - exploring new activities, nourishing their bodies
and nurturing their spirits.
1800 219 272
www.gwinganna.com
LANDMARK EDUCATION
Education programs grounded in a model of transformative learning: a learning method that gives people an awareness of the basic
structures in which they know, think, and act.
www.landmarkworldwide.com.au