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Men on
Fire
Based on and Inspired by: “Every Man’s Battle”
Conference Leader: Rev. Baron C. Mashack
THE BATTLE PLAN
DEFINITION OF SEXUAL PURITY
You are sexually pure when no sexual gratification comes from anyone or anything but your wife.
PERIMETERS OF DEFENSE
Your objective in this war against lust is to build three perimeters of defense into your life:
1. With your eyes.
2. In your mind.
3. In your heart.
EYES – Your first perimeter and outermost defense. Consider it a wall with “Keep out” signs around it.
MIND – Your second perimeter. Here you evaluate and capture objects of lusts…rather than block them.
HEART – Your innermost perimeter. This is built by strengthening your affections for your wife and commitment.
Heart
Mind
Eyes
Important
Impurity is a Habit
Perspective
Impurity is not genetic. It’s not because we are males. Impurity is a habit. It lives like a habit. When some fine, hot
looking women walks into the room, your eyes have the bad habit of bouncing toward her, and sliding up and down.
When you see a voluptuous woman on the cover of a magazine on a news rack, your eyes automatically zone in on her
figure. Well, just like your impurity lives like habit, it can die like a habit.
Impurity works like a habit. What do we mean? Once you set a habit in place, it’s automatic. For example: Our early
morning ritual…brush, shower, get dressed, eat Wheaties. We don’t even have to think about it. While sexual impurity
works like a bad habit, sexual purity works like a good habit.
IMPURITY FIGHTS LIKE AN ADDICTION!
Impurity of the eyes and mind lives like a habit but fights like an addiction. Many habits are addictive. Smokers get the
urge to smoke. Drug users “get a jones.” Alcoholics get the shakes. For overcoming some addictions, the addictive
source can be gradually reduced. For other, the best method is cold turkey. What works best for sexual impurity? COLD
TURKEY! Tapering down, whatever purity you do allow seems to multiply in its impact. Tapering also makes one
susceptible to sexual binges that can go on for days. Binges crush your spirit!
MASTURBATION: A SYMPTOM, NOT THE ROOT
Some may think that masturbation is the root of the problem or it is caused by some psychological pain from your past.
Not so. Masturbation is a symptom of uncontrolled eyes and free racing thoughts. When you create new habits of
bouncing your eyes and taking thoughts captive, masturbation will cease. Targeting masturbation will not work,
because it is not the root. Pornography, sexual images, and impure thoughts are at the root. Cut those off and the habit
(and idol) of masturbation dies!
ACCOUNTABILITY AND YOUR WIFE
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It is good to have a male accountability partner
Accountability only works when there is firm commitment to win
Don’t even consider telling your wife until you are 100% committed and have started your plan
Be prepared for a possible negative reaction. Most wives react with shock and revulsion, rather mercy and prayer
Share knowledge you’ve learned from the book to give her understanding.
There are countless ways she can help, and she can be an incredible asset on the journey to victory
The Biblical Standard
See the Scriptures
VICTORY WITH YOUR EYES
The first perimeter of defense is the eyes. We will employ the strategies of
bouncing your eyes and starving your eyes, as well as the tactic of taking up a
“sword” and a “shield”.
Bouncing the Eyes
Bouncing is training your eyes to “bounce” away from sights of pretty women and sensual
images. Bouncing your eyes for 6 weeks will establish this defense as a habit. The goal is to
build a reflex action by training your eyes to bounce away immediately from the sexual, like
the jerk of your hand away from a hot stove. They key word is “immediately”. That is your
“line in the sand”.
YOUR TACTICS
1. Study yourself. How and where are you attacked the most?
2. Define your defense for each of the greatest enemies you’ve identified
Exercise – Work in groups.
1. Make your own list of your “greatest enemies” or places you are being attacked the
most. These are areas of vulnerability and weakness. Remember, we are talking visual
instead of non-visual. Share your list with your group.
“Fred’s List”
 Lingerie advertisements
 Female joggers in tight nylon shorts
 Billboards showing scantily clad women
 Beer and bikini commercials
 Movies rated PG-13 or higher
 Receptionist with low-cut or tight blouses
2. Define a quick preliminary defense for each weakness or attack point. Choose one
attack point from the group and present a reasonable defense strategy to class.
VICTORY WITH YOUR EYES
Starving the Eyes
To attain sexual purity as we defined it, we must starve our eyes of the bowls of
sexual gratification that come from the outside of our marriage. When you starve
your eyes and eliminate “junk sex” from your life, you’ll deeply crave “real food” –
Your Wife.
Bowls of
Gratification
Your newfound hunger will shock her. She has been accustomed to providing you with 5
bowls a week. Suddenly, because you are not getting sexual gratification elsewhere, you
need an extra 5 bowls from her. In other words, your desire for her will double. She’ll
probably want to know what’s going on with you. Once she learns what’s cooking, you’ll
both need to find a new sexual equilibrium. The extra 5 bowls from outside the marriage
must now be provided from inside the marriage.
Benefits and Payoffs
Even if you haven’t been steeped deep in sexual sin, starving your eyes from even modest
sexual gratification will cause you to see your wife in a whole new light. You will become
more attracted to her than you have been in years, and suddenly you will realized just
how your life has been affected by visual stimulation outside your marriage.
Your sex life will also go through the roof. Not only will your drive for her increase, but
because you have limited your eyes to her only, your own tastes will adapt to what you are
seeing. Perhaps your wife has gained weight over the years, and your longing for that
young figure was a driving factor in your visual sexual gratification outside the marriage.
Because you have starved your eyes, and they are now focused only on her, your own
tastes will adapt. Even her not-so-perfect, aging figure will drive you crazy!
VICTORY WITH YOUR EYES
Your Sword and Shield
No battle will be won without the transforming power of the
Word of God!
Your Sword
You’ll need a good Bible verse to use as a rallying point. Just
one? While memorizing several verses about purity will
work in your life to eventually transform and wash the mind,
having several may become cumbersome. That’s why we
recommend a single “attack verse, “and it better be quick.
We suggest the opening line of Job 31. When you fail and
look at a jogger in tights, say sharply, “No, I’ve made a
covenant with my eyes. I can’t do that!” This action will be
like a quick dagger to the heart of your enemy.
“I have made covenant with my eyes”
Your Shield
Your Shield – a protective verse that you can reflect on and draw strength from even when
you aren’t in the direct heat of battle – may be even more important than your sword, because
it places temptation out of earshot.
We suggest selecting this verse as your shield:
“Flee from sexual immorality….You are not your own: you were bought at a price.
Therefore honor God with your body”
(Corinthians 6:18-20)
VICTORY WITH YOUR MIND
Your Mustang Mind
As you build the outer defense perimeters, you’ll
find that the perimeter of the eyes goes up much
faster than the perimeter of the mind. Why?
First, the mind is like a Mustang. It is far more crafty than your eyes and much
more difficult to corral. Second, you really can’t rein in the mind effectively
until the defense perimeter of the eyes is in place. Knowing this you shouldn’t
be discouraged if your mind responds more slowly than your eyes.
Lurking at The Door
“If my heart has been enticed by a woman, or
if I have lurked at my neighbor’s door, then
may my wife grind another man’s grain, and
may other men sleep with her. For that
would have been wicked, a sin to be judged.
(Job 31:9-11)
Have you “lurked at your neighbor’s door?”
 Visiting your friend’s wife and letting her cry on your shoulder
 Having inappropriate conversation of a sexual nature with her
 Wondering things like….”Why didn’t I meet her sooner?” or “How different things
would have been if I had.”
Wild Thinking
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of
God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)
VICTORY WITH YOUR MIND
Approaching Your Corral
Here we deal with “live” attractions in your life and what they mean for your
mental defense perimeter.
WOMEN YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE
1)First line of defense is proper mindset….
This attraction threatens everything I hold dear.
2) Second line of defense is to declare….
I have no right to think these things.
Take Captain Kirk’s approach from Star Trek
When seeing a beautiful woman you are attracted to.
As danger approaches the starship enterprise he
immediately cried out to his crew…
”Red Alert! Shields up!”
With your mind-set transformed, you won’t let her near the corral. The attraction will
begin to starve, and she’ll drift back toward the horizon. How can you make this happen?
Bounce the Eyes - Avoid Her - Play the Dweeb
WOMEN WHO FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE
What do you do?
 Spend absolutely NO time with her!
 Flee from her! (Don’t join her prayer group. Don’t join
Her worship team. Don’t even hold her hand in prayer)
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Prepare with “war game” simulations!
(What will you say to her? What will you do if she invites
you to lunch? Rehearse in your mind.)
1) First line of defense when she
approaches…
“Red Alert, Shields up”
2) Second line of defense involves
using your shield of rights…
“ I have no right to think
these thoughts, and I have no
right to return these
signals.”
VICTORY WITH YOUR MIND
Inside Your Corral
There are women already inside your corral. They are in your corral today and probably
will be there tomorrow and the next day. This means you must eliminate these attractions
in some other way. Let’s look at two main categories of woman within your corral:
Old girlfriends and ex-wives & Wives of your friends
Old Flames
When your relationship with your wife hits the skids and frustration builds, often the
memories of the one that “got away” come flooding back to your mind. When this happens
you must emphatically say to yourself, “I have no right to any relationship of any type
with ___________ anymore, even in my thoughts.”
If you don’t do this and allow your mind to run
wild, if she ever calls you or shows up out of the
blue, your guard will be down. If that happens,
then you can expect a one night stand at best,
and an affair at worst. Destroy any rights you
have to even think of her immediately!
Rules of Engagement with Friend’s Wives
1. Limit all conversations with friend’s spouse, unless your wife or your friend is with
you.
2. If you phone your friend and he isn’t home, get off line with wife promptly.
3. If you stop by your friend’s house and he isn’t home, she may invite you in. Politely
decline.
4. Capture any attractions toward your friend’s wife and nuke them totally. Return to
rules of starving the eyes and taking thoughts captive. Never tell yourself, “Oh, I can
handle it”.
VICTORY IN YOUR HEART
The third perimeter, your innermost perimeter, is about being consumed with
God’s purpose to cherish your wife.
God’s Purpose for your Marriage – That is parallels Christ’s relationship to His church,
that you be one with your wife.
Cherishing your Spouse
How does Cherishing feel? What does it look like? In the Song of
Songs we see how much Jesus cherishes His Bride, Israel.
(4:1, 3, 7, 9-10; 7:5-6)
Jesus desire for His bride is palpable. It is intense.
In turn, the church’s feelings toward Jesus, is one of deep love
and loyalty that is freely expressed and freely given.
(5:10-1, 16; 7:10, 12-13)
Do your Cherish your Spouse?
If not, it probably means you are falling short of God’s standards. God standard
is to unconditionally cherish her no matter what. NO conditions!
What if she isn’t nice to me?
NO Conditions!
What if she won’t make love to me? NO Conditions!
What if she doesn’t deserve my love? NO Conditions!
VICTORY IN YOUR HEART
A Man like
Uriah!
Uriah loved his King and loved his wife. Are you as loyal to God as
Uriah was to David? From the cave, to Ziklag and beyond…Uriah
demonstrated complete faithfulness and loyalty.
Uriah also loved his wife Bathsheba. According to prophet Nathan,
she was Uriah’s “Ewe Lamb”…the joy of his life, his cherished one, the one
he shared everything with, that slept in his arms.
His complete faithfulness and
loyalty would cost him his life!
Sound Familiar???
Feelings will follow
Love is not a feeling, it’s a commitment. Do
the “right thing” first and the feelings will
follow. Remember, God loved us while we were
yet sinners. Loving like Christ means you
never wait on the other to love your first.
God loved us before we were worthy. We can
do nothing less for our wives.
VICTORY IN YOUR HEART
Remember What She Gives You
 She gave up her freedom for you.
 She exchanged this freedom for something far more
valuable…your love and your word.
 She’s pledged to be your sexually
 Her sexuality is her most prized possession and her garden.
 She does not deserve for her husband to view sensual
garbage, polluting, and littering her garden.
 She deserves more, and you must honor that.
Understand Her Language
We highly recommend The
5 Love Languages.
This modern day classic will teach you how to love your
wife more deeply and more completely.
His Need, Her Needs
“Building An Affair Proof Marriage”
This book will show you how to meet your spouse’s
needs to ensure that every need is met inside the
marriage and not without.
God’s Biblical
Standards on Sex
1. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with
her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28)
2.
For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft,
murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All
these evils come from inside and defile a person.” (Mark 7:21-23).
3. You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals
and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things. (Acts 15:29)
4. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put
on the armor of light. 13 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and
drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. (Romans
13:12-13)
5. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother
or sister[a] but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do
not even eat with such people. (1 Corinthians 5:11)
6. Flee from sexual immorality. (1 Corinthians 6:18)
7. I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be
grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and
debauchery in which they have indulged. (2 Corinthians 12:21)
8. So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature…The acts of
the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery. (Galatians 5:16,19)
9. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or
of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity,
foolish talkor coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. (Ephesians 5:3-4)
10. For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality;
(1 Thessalonians 4:3)
11. Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will
judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. (Hebrews 13:4)
12. Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual
immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of
eternal fire. (Jude 1:7)
13. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral,
sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur,
which is the second death.” (Revelations 21:8)