Download The art of communication is the language of leadership.

“The art of communication is the
language of leadership.”
-James Humes
BCTC Supervisory Training
Communications within the Advisory Role
Greg Feeney, Ph.D.
Just another training?
-Depends on you.
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Why are you here (beyond the mandatory
thing)?
What would you like to get out of this?
One question you would like
answered today.
Effective communication matters.
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Our days are filled with communication
challenges and opportunities
We aren’t always effective.
Awareness!
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Some of this might be new.
A lot of it may be a reminder.
Either way, the opportunity for improvement
is here.
Today:
The Art of Effective
Communication
Your 5 Goals
5 Areas
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Language
Listening
Nonverbal
Feedback
Climate
They all influence each other
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These variables could
be in any order.
The list is not
exhaustive.
A few general items first…
It’s not always about you.
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Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t own others’ behavior or perspectives.
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If someone treats you disrespectfully, work not to
take it personally.
If someone disagrees with you, work not to take it as
a personal attack.
This will help you stay focused on the issue at
hand.
It’s all about you.
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A matter of perception
Why do you think the way you think?
Careful with assumptions
Be aware of
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how you come across.
strengths.
weaknesses.
what (who) pushes your buttons.
Awareness of Perception Formation
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Culture and all it
entails
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Including personality
type/variables
Actually, it’s all about meaning.
You
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Key variables:
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You
The other(s)
Language
Listening
Nonverbal
Context of message
delivery, overall
climate, cultural
variables
Context
and
Format
The Other
Meaning
Nonverbal
Language
Listening
Language
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But if thought corrupts language,
language can also corrupt thought.
-George Orwell
Word
Association
1. SHUT UP!
2. Miss
America
3. Meets
Expectations
4. Atheist
5. 9-11
6. Linguistic
Relativism
1.
2.
3.
Shut up
Miss America
Meets Expectations
4.
5.
6.
Atheist
9-11
Linguistic Relativity
Language affects the way we
see the world.
Linguistic Relativism
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Meaning is in people, not words.
Meaning comes from:
Language
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Identity
Credibility and status
Affiliation
Attraction
Interest
All relate to meaning.
Basic Question: How do I get
the meaning in my head in your
head?
Language
influences the process.
I can make it easier or harder for
you to listen through the language
I use.
Language
Language choice matters.
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Direct impact on interpretation.
Does your language help others listen?
Language influences our ability to listen.
 You can lessen or increase noise through the
language you use.
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Being PC
“Spin”
Language and Power
Powerful speech is more likely to
lead to desired results.
–Not about being overly
authoritative but about
clarity.
Examples
Powerful
 I need…
 I would appreciate…
 I’d like you to…
 How can we improve
this?
Less Powerful
 Can you…
 Will you…
 If you could…
 Can we improve this?
Questions/Comments
Goal #1
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Set a goal that relates to language.
Listening – the heart of the art
“We see the world as we are rather than as
it is.”
How does this quote relate to listening?
Hearing is not listening.
Listening is all about meaning.
It is about understanding.
Again, all about the
What makes listening difficult?
Ineffective Listening
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Pseudolistening
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Monopolizing
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Selective Listening
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Defensive Listening
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Ambushing
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Literal Listening
Talking
Noise
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Psychological as well
as physical
Types of Listening Responses
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Questioning
Paraphrasing
Empathizing
Supporting
Analyzing
Evaluating
Advising
Silent Listening
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Which style to use?
Which Style to Use?
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Consider the situation, the other person,
and finally think of yourself.
Framing
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Think about how you look at things.
Example: Look at resistance as feedback
(both about the idea and the people).
Group Work
How do the following schemata influence
your listening?
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Prototypes – great teacher, good student, true friend
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Personal Constructs – intelligent-not intelligent, kindnot kind
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Stereotypes – predictive generalizations
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Scripts – guides to action
Schemata represent our ideas of
what should be.
Mindfulness
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Focusing on the moment.
Idea of Cognitive Complexity.
Questions/Comments
Goal #2
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Set a goal that relates to listening.
Nonverbal Communication
Language matters but…
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55% of the communication signals we
send results from how others see us.
38% flows from the way they hear us.
7% comes from our words.
-Edward J. Barks, 2004
What does it mean when someone:
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has their arms crossed?
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won’t look you in the eyes?
Careful with generalizations.
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Consider context.
History with the person.
Often subjective - Signals can be misread.
More than gestures and facial
expressions.
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Again, it’s about meaning.
Tools we can use to make it easier for
folks to listen.
And, tools we can use to better interpret
others.
Tools
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Gestures
Eye contact
Vocal qualities
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(tone is huge)
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Space
Touch
Time
Artifacts
Is the behavior
consistent?
Does it contradict or
reinforce?
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Which is more credible
and reliable?
Does it promote
respect and a positive
climate?
Group work: Stirring this up…
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What drives you nuts about coworkers’
nonverbal communication?
Questions/Comments
Goal #3
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Set a goal that relates to nonverbal
communication.
The Art of Communicating
Feedback
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Repetition
Bad news
Mode
Document
Being Proactive
Repetition
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The pleasant nag
Clarity
Weekly list vs. multiple messages
Keep it friendly, appropriate humor—read
your audience
Bad News
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Clarity
Own it—the infamous “They”
Behavior focused—be specific
Formative/constructive
Person-to-person (think about
environment)—maybe even go to their
office, for good news as well
Mode - so many choices
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Phone
Email
Memo
My office
Their office
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Verbal vs. Written
When
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Date?
Time?
Stopped in the hall.
Documentation – develop
concrete follow-up plans
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Document for clarity
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Formal
Informal
Being Proactive
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Documentation helps
Problems rarely disappear on their own
Discuss problems before they become a
big issue
Group work:
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Share when you provided feedback and it
did not go well (no names/identifiers,
please).
How would you provide the feedback
differently now?
Questions/Comments
Goal #4
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Set a goal that relates to providing
feedback.
Climate
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We influence the climate of all our
relationships.
Dynamic process.
Creating and Maintaining a Positive
Climate—Social Tone
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Evaluation
Certainty
Strategy
Control
Neutrality
Superiority
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Description
Provisionalism
Spontaneity
Problem orientation
Empathy
Equality
At the center of it all is promoting
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Value
Appreciation
Respect
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Or at least maintaining an environment
conducive to such things.
Showing others value and
appreciation.
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With some this is easy
Others—Even when
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They irritate you
You often radically disagree with them
Your perspectives are radically different
Macro vs. Micro
level influence
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Micro
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How your behavior
influences your
immediate unit/area.
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Macro
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How your behavior
and the climate of
your unit/area
influence our overall
climate at the college.
Idea of Principled Negotiation
Negotiation
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A basic means of getting
what you want from
others—a back-and-forth
communication designed
to reach an agreement.
Principled Negotiation
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2 layers:
substance (what)
and
procedure (how)
Principled Negotiation
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Based on merit
An all-purpose strategy (if the other side
learns it, it does not become more difficult
to use, it becomes easier)
Principled Negotiation- 4 basic points
1.
2.
3.
4.
People: Separate the people from the
problem.
Interests: Focus on interests, not positions.
Options: Generate a variety of possibilities
before deciding what to do.
Criteria: Insist that result be based on
some objective standard.
Hard and Soft Bargaining
Hard
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Goal is victory.
Distrust others.
Does damage to the
relationship and future
interaction.
Soft
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Goal is agreement.
Trust others.
Makes you vulnerable,
often walked on by folks
taking the hard approach.
Which is better?
Hard
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Goal is victory.
Distrust others.
Does damage to the
relationship and future
interaction.
Soft
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Goal is agreement.
Trust others.
Makes you vulnerable,
often walked on by folks
taking the hard approach.
Trick question.
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It is better to change the game by using
principled negotiation.
It differs from positional
bargaining.
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Focus is not on a set answer.
Positional bargaining often becomes a
contest of will.
2 layers: substance and procedure
(what)
and
(how)
Oops!
Questions/Comments
Goal #5
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Set a goal that relates to using
communication to create a more positive
climate.
Your Goals
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Language
Listening
Nonverbal
Feedback
Climate
The Next Step
Assuming Agency
Assume Agency
--What do YOU do?
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We must take responsibility for making our work
relationships as productive as possible, even
when others do not play by the rules.
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If someone does not follow what we covered today,
how do you handle it?
If you try, and they still make it difficult, what’s next?
If someone yells at you, what do you do?
If someone uses inflammatory language, what do you
do?
When other folks are negative, what do you do?
If someone is disrespectful to you, what do you do?
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The test of your skills, who you are,
comes when other people do not play by
the rules.
Questions/Comments