Download Flock Tending: Tips for Essential Spiritual Caregiving

Justin Nelson, MDiv.
Chaplain
Mountain Valley Hospice and Palliative Care
What is Spiritual/Pastoral
Caregiving?
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Historically derived from the image of the Shepherd
 Psalm 23 “The Lord is my Shepherd”
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The Mission of Jesus set out in Luke 4:16-21
 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring
good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the
captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free,
19to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
 The mission of the Church should be the “concern for persons, for the
alleviation of their sufferings, for their health and wholeness” (Switzer, 9)
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Definitions
 “expression of the life of the Christian community, or of a person or
persons who are representative of the community, when it is acting out
God’s purpose in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus in and for the
world.” (Switzer, 15)
 “Personal Contact for the care of souls”
Types of Spiritual/Pastoral Visits
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Crisis
 Death, hospitalization, etc.
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Homebound/Nursing Home
Guests
Inactive/Unhappy Members
Stewardship
Recruitment for Leadership
On-Going Every Member Visitation
 “for the purpose of strengthening relationships with
caregiver, congregation, and community, and
addressing issues of faith and its practice” (Gorsuch,
9)
How do we provide effective
Spiritual Care?
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Active Listening
 “he who can no longer listen to his brother will
soon be no longer listening to God either”—
Bonhoeffer
 Hearing is an easy, passive process, however
listening requires energy, motivation, and
patience
 Listening does not only mean paying attention to
the words being spoken, listening also means
paying attention to the whole person—what is
there body language saying, what is there
environment telling you, etc.
How do we provide effective
Spiritual Care?
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Recognize Anxiety as good
 Anxiety is a clue that something important is about to
happen. Where anxiety is, there is always an opportunity
to stand on “holy ground”
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Realize you do not have to “fix” the problem.
 You are there to merely support and guide the individual
on their own journey.
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Overcome the Savior Complex
 You do not have all the answers. Even though you might
have gone through a similar experience; what worked for
you might not work for them.
 Ambiguity is perfectly acceptable. Sometimes there are
no answers or no good answers.
 Sometimes people are not looking for answers, they just
need to vent.
How do we provide effective
Spiritual Care?
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Recognize that silence is not bad: Many times it is good.
 Silence opens the door to thinking/pondering. Silence gives
person time to put their words and thoughts together. When
people are ready to share, they will and the person will have the
freedom to express themselves in whatever manner they see fit.
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Recognize that Crying is OK.
 Crying is the body’s way of releasing emotions. That release is
often need. *Handing someone a tissue is an outward sight that
they do not need to cry. They should stop crying and that we
don’t want them to cry. Tissues are good to have on you, but do
not pull them out immediately.
 Understand everyone copes differently. Some prefer more
private and reserved grieving.
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Realize that you do not necessarily have to talk “God talk”
 Sometimes people just need to vent, shoot the breeze, etc.
How do we provide effective
Spiritual Care?
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Remember you are a guest.
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Confidentiality
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This is not your journey, but theirs.
Understand that a patient/family may want you to stay or they may want you to
leave. Not Personal.
Ask what is needed or wanted. Do not assume. “What would help you right now?”
“What is it that I could do for you?”
There must be a sense of trust
Be aware that scents can have effects on others.
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Be aware of your own perfume/cologne.
Thus, do not smoke before making a visit.
If a person is dying…
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Do not talk as if they are already dead. They are still there and they are in the
room.
If a person has Dementia/Alzheimer’s
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It is okay to go into their world.
Watch what you say.
○ If asked if you have seen someone’s parents and you know for a fact that the
parents are deceased, do not tell them that their parents are dead.
Unhelpful Statements
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Don’t…
You should…
You should not…
I know exactly how
you feel.
He/She’s in a better
place.
Don’t be angry with
God.
Don’t say that about
God.
It was God’s will.
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God had a reason
You will get over it.
Time will heal
(S)He lived a good
long life. You should
be grateful.
I had an experience
like this once. When
my mother died…(It’s
not about you.)
Helpful Statements
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I’m sorry for you
loss.
Would you like to
talk about it?
How is what’s
happening with ___
affecting your life?
What would help
you right now?
How can I help right
now?
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If those tears could
talk, what would
they be saying?
What I am hearing
you say is ____?
What are your
thoughts on ____?
How do you feel
about____?
**You are not there to interrogate. Don’t ask too many questions.**
Home Visitation
Always Call First
Make sure you know where you are going
and the names of who you are going to
see.
 Watch where you step/sit
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 Oxygen line, pets, etc.
Be considerate to others in the household.
Be considerate of the times in which you
visit.
 Same Rules apply for Independent Living
Facilities.
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Hospital Visitations
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Hand Hygiene
 (foam in/foam out)
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Contact Precautions
 Your protection and patient’s protection
Always knock
Watch where you step/sit/stand.
Excuse yourself to the hall if CNA’s/RN’s come to
change/rotate/etc. patient.
 If doctor walks in the room…
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 Ask if patient wants you to stay or not
 If you stay, listen to the doctor. Patient might have misheard/ stop
listening to doctor because they got stuck on one of doctor’s words.
 Don’t chime in with your own medical opinions.
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Be an understanding/compassionate advocate for patient.
 Realize RN’s have to take care of all the other patients on the unit.
Nursing Home Visit
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Remember this is their home!
 Though it might resemble a hospital room it is not.
 Statements about returning home are not helpful.
 Exception if person is there for rehab only.
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Be prepared for sometimes difficult smells.
Be considerate to roommates.
Always knock.
Watch where you step/sit.
CNA’s do come and rotate, help persons out of
bed, help bathe, etc.
Following the Visit
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Take Time to Reflect
 Your Strengths and Weaknesses
 Did any theological issues arise in yourself or in the
person visited? Is God telling you or the person
visited something?
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Awareness of the Holy
Sense of Providence—fate, bad luck, etc.
Sense of Grace
Sense of Vocation—not necessarily work related
Plan of Action
 What needs to happen as a result of the visit?
 Were there any promises made?
 What non-confidential information needs to be
passed on?
Questions?