Download Statement on Cohabitation Biblical Marriage Marriage is, first and

Statement on Cohabitation
Biblical Marriage
Marriage is, first and foremost, a matter before God. Because it is then it is important to make sure that
your "marriage" conforms to what God has said about it in His Word.
What is God's definition of marriage? According to Scripture, it's a one-flesh, whole-life union between
one man and one woman. It's a union that covers every aspect of human existence: the physical, the sexual, the
mental, the emotional, the moral, the spiritual, and the economic. This definition is summed up in Genesis 2:24:
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
The act of "leaving and cleaving" involves a couple's public commitment to build a strong and lasting
relationship. This means that marriage is anything but a purely private affair.
In Malachi chapter 2 God says that a woman is one's wife 'by covenant.' He goes on to say that He hates
divorce, which is the breaking of that covenant. Marriage is most definitely making a lifelong commitment, but
it also is more than just making a commitment to someone else. The divine institution of marriage suggests a
covenant among the man, the woman, and God. The marital relationship is more important than any other
relationship except one’s relationship with God.
The Bible describes marriage as a committed relationship between one man and one woman that is
sanctioned and blessed by God, and Jesus added that it is to be permanent (Mark 10:7-9).
A powerful example of marriage is modeled after God’s relationship with His people, the Church. Jesus
is the bride-groom, and the Church is His bride (Ephesians 5:22-33).
The marriage license is not just a "piece of paper." The license is a legal contract, proving that you have
committed yourselves together in marriage. Marriage is a covenant made 1) before God, 2) to each other, 3) in
eyes of society 4) according to the laws of the land. God says that He witnesses the covenant that a couple
makes when they get married. "The Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth…(who) is
your companion and your wife by covenant" (Malachi 2:14). A covenant is a contract, agreed upon by two
parties. It is a commitment that has a beginning point, and consequences for breaking it.
Living together doesn’t reflect the commitment that God instituted and ordained. Two “become” one
implies there’s a journey involved that takes commitment not convenience or comfort.
We see in John chapter 4, an exchange between Jesus and the woman at the well. This woman with
whom Jesus talked was living with a man, but both she and Jesus agreed that he was not her husband. This
definitely implies that her relationship, outside marriage, was sin. They were not "married in God's eyes,"
because Jesus said they weren't.
The woman at Jacob's well told Jesus, "I have no husband." Jesus replied, "You have well said, 'I have no
husband'; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband. What you have
said is quite true." (John 4:17-18). If living together made her married, Jesus would have said, "The man you are
now living with is your sixth husband." Instead, He did not recognize them as being married even though they
were living together.
Timothy Kellner notes, “Marriage is also a more inescapable relationship than cohabitation. When
unmarried people live together, they certainly see one another “up close,” but each party knows that the other
one does not have the same claims on him or her that would be true if they were married. They don’t merge
their entire lives—socially, economically, legally—and so either one can walk away with relatively few
complications if they don’t like what they are being told.”
Sexual Sin
The Bible is very clear that sexual relations outside marriage is sin. There are numerous Scriptures that
declare God’s prohibition of sexual immorality (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians
12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7).
The Greek word translated “sexual immorality” or “fornication” in these verses is porneia (from which
we get the English word pornography), and it means literally “unlawful lust.” Since the only form of lawful
sexuality is the marriage of one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5), then anything outside of
marriage, whether it is adultery, premarital sex, homosexuality, or anything else, is unlawful, in other words,
sin. Living together before marriage definitely falls into the category of fornication—sexual sin.
The unique, committed setting of marriage is the place God designed for the expression of sex. In 1
Corinthians 6:15-18, Paul discusses the sinfulness of all sexual relations outside of marriage. In addition to
outward sinfulness, sexual sin is a sin against one’s own body. This makes sexual sin uniquely destructive, a
very good reason to follow God’s plan for sex.
In sexual matters, many people simply do what seems right according to their own human wisdom. But
the Bible repeatedly shows that what seems right to people is often wrong (Proverbs 14:12; Jeremiah 10:23).
We must be willing to sacrifice and deny our own desires in order to please God (Matt. 16:24; Rom. 12:1,2).
Living together is about more than just breaking one commandment about adultery. Living together
represents a persistent ignoring of God’s Word and God’s will. Continuing to live in opposition to God’s Word
makes couples who choose to keep living together guilty of unrepentant sin. Repentance means recognizing sin
and turning away from the offending behavior back to God and His will. Living together is a public
announcement that two people do not believe they have to follow God’s will.
Legal Ramifications
Because of our governments recent marriage revision regarding homosexuality this could be the weakest
point regarding marriage, but the Bible clearly states that all believers are to submit to their government in all
things (Rom. 13:1-7). The only exception is in cases that submission to authority requires us to disobey the
greater law of God (Acts 4:19-20, 5:27-29). In any and all areas where the laws of the land do not conflict with
a biblical mandate, believers are expected to obey.
According to the following Wisconsin Statues a Pastor cannot “solemnize” an illegal marriage and there are
ramifications for doing so.
Wisconsin Statutes 765.30
(2) The following may be fined not more than $10,000 or imprisoned for not more than 9 months or both:…
(c) Penalty for false solemnization of marriage. Any person, not being duly authorized by the laws of this state,
who intentionally undertakes to solemnize a marriage in this state; or any person who intentionally participates
in or in any way aids or abets any false or fictitious marriage.
(3) The following shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500, or imprisoned not more than 6 months,
or both:
(a) Penalty for unlawful solemnization of marriage. Any officiating person who solemnizes a marriage unless
the contracting parties have first obtained a proper marriage license as heretofore provided; or unless the parties
to such marriage declare that they take each other as husband and wife; or without the presence of 2 competent
adult witnesses; or solemnizes a marriage knowing of any legal impediment thereto; or solemnizes a marriage
more than 30 days after the date of the marriage license; or falsely certifies to the date of a marriage solemnized
by the officiating person; or solemnizes a marriage in a county other than the county prescribed in s. 765.12.
(b) Penalty for unlawful solemnization by parties. Where a marriage is solemnized without the presence of an
officiating person if the parties to such marriage solemnize the same without the presence of 2 competent adult
witnesses or more than 30 days after the date of the license; or falsely certify to the date of such marriage; or
solemnize the same in a county other than the county prescribed in s. 765.12.
Bottom line: if a man and a woman at any stage of life really love one another enough to become "one flesh" in
the eyes of God, they should be willing to proclaim their mutual commitment to the world. They should do this
in the presence of the governing authorities and society as a whole by entering into legal matrimony. It doesn't
matter what this commitment may cost them in terms of money or material comforts. In the end, it comes down
to a simple question of doing the right thing.
Resources
www.gotquestions.org/living-in-sin
Focus on the Family article: The Problem With Living Together By Jennifer Roback Morse
Focus on the Family--Cohabiting Senior Couples: Financial and Moral Considerations