Download Negative Peer Pressure

October 2016
T H E C EN T ER FO R PA R EN T/ YO U T H
U N D ER S TA N D I N G
Helping parents understand teenagers and their world
Negative Peer
Pressure
YOUTH CULTURE
HOT QUOTE
We spend so much
time creating
layers on top of
who we are that
we get hidden
from who we
really are. So it’s
important to be
unedited. We have
so much pressure to
wear that hat, that
cape, that covering
all the time to be
someone that you
think you should
be, versus who you
really are.
Julie Mathers, founder
of the “Love Your Selfie:
No Edits” challenge
in Lancaster, PA, LNP,
September 19, 2016
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October 2016 | www.cpyu.org
WALT MUELLER, CPYU President
Even before they reach their teen years, our
kids will be tempted, to one degree or another
on numerous occasions, to become like
chameleons. In an effort to protect themselves
from feeling like they’ve been left alone to
wander through adolescence, our kids will
change colors and blend in with the surrounding
environment of. . . the peer group. As Christian
parents, what can you do to equip your kids
to weather the inevitable peer pressure storm
in a way that brings honor and glory to their
Heavenly Father?
First, recognize that peer pressure reaches
its greatest intensity during the adolescent
years. Along with the rest of the teenage
population, your chld is experiencing the
natural developmental shift in social focus
from her family to her peer group. They begin
to disengage from the family while forming
more and more relationships with same-sex
and opposite-sex peers. Consequently, they
will sometimes look for guidance and direction
from their peers.
Second, recognize that the nature of peer
pressure has changed since we were growing
up. Peer pressure used to take the form of a
verbal invitation to come and participate in
some behavior that both you and the person
inviting you to do it knew was wrong. There
was always that element of sneaking around.
Today, peer pressure typically takes the form
of an unspoken expectation to participate in
behavior that the great majority of the peer
group believes to be normal and right. Today,
it’s much more difficult for our kids to go
against the flow when the behaviors promoted
aren’t sneaky, but celebrated.
Finally, peer pressure shouldn’t lead us to wave
the white flag of surrender. Instead, it should
motivate us to do all we can to encourage and
equip our kids to stand firm in the midst of their
pressure-filled lives. Realize that negative peer
pressure is a spiritual battle that all of us fight
constantly. Like the apostle Paul, we will find
ourselves baffled by our behavior (Romans 7:1524). But like Paul, we can see the way out of our
struggle with sin through Jesus Christ (Romans
7:25). Pray, pray, and continue to pray for your
kids in the midst of pressure so intense that it
can leave you and them feeling helpless and
hopeless. Examine yourself and your lifestyle to
see how your example teaches them to handle
negative peer pressure. Model a lifestyle of
discipleship and, by doing so, show your kids
that following Christ is not always the easy
choice but is always the right choice. Actively
help your children realize their value and worth
in God’s eyes so that they are less prone to
seek their satisfaction by conforming to the
images of the world. Get your kids involved in a
positive peer group – perhaps a strong church
youth group – where following the narrow path
that leads to life is celebrated and affirmed by
both leaders and students alike.
Help your kids to understand the truth of
Proverbs 13:20 – that for better or for worse,
friends always do influence friends.
TOP 10...
Findings on
1. Reading the Bible in Public Is Seen as
Teens and
Encouraging
the Bible
2. A Majority of Teens Own a Bible and Read it
Source:
Barna: 2016 Teen State of
the Bible and The Bible in
America study
Regularly
3. A Majority of Teens Read the Bible for More
Than 15 minutes Each Sitting
4. Growing Closer to God is the Key Motivator
for Bible Reading
5. Teens Still Prefer to use a Hard Copy Bible in
a Digital Age
6. The Bible Is Considered Sacred Literature
7. The Bible is a Source of Hope and Guidance
8. The Bible Is Considered the Literal or
Inspired Word of God
9. The Bible Should Have More Influence on
QUICK STATS
Among kids in grades
9-12, 17% report seriously
considering suicide in the
preceding 12 month period,
and 8% report making
one or more attempts at
suicide during this time.
(Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention)
Suicide is the second
leading cause of death for
young people ages 10-24
years-old.
(Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention)
Society
10. The Bible Influences Political Decisions
FROM THE NEWS:
DELAYED SCHOOL START TIMES
Sleep deprivation has become a very real problem for our children and teens.
Their
busy schedules have them going to bed later and getting up earlier and earlier. Add to that the fact that
uninterrupted sleep is a thing of the past due to sleeping with their smartphones, and you’ve got a situation
where the lack of sleep has led to health and well-being problems for kids. The American Medical Association
is working to address this sleep deprivation issue and has recently called for a delay in school start times
so that kids might get more sleep. The AMA wants to see middle school and high school start times of no
earlier than eight-thirty-am. They believe that more time for sleep will improve health, academic performance,
behavior, and general well-being. Parents, don’t wait for your schools to remedy this problem. Your kids need
their uninterrupted sleep. Make sure they get to bed at a decent time and that they do so without their phones.
God made them to need their rest.
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October 2016 | www.cpyu.org
CPYU’S
TRENDS:
TREND
ALERT
Online shopping as LATEST RESEARCH:
entertainment Binge-drinking and stress
Marketers are always jockeying to get the attention and
money of our kids. In a recent online interview with
Catherine Moellering, who’s an expert on teen marketing especially when it comes to girls and fashion
- Moellering offered this interesting insight...
“Teen girls love celebrities and celebrity
collaboration. The celebrity who’s wearing
or designing the item and the magazine that
cites the look are big influences. They’re
coming of age at the height of the social
network phenomenon. It’s important to
remember that even with all the virtual tryingon, sharing of looks on social feeds and so
forth, teens experience it as entertainment, rather than
research.” Wow! Did you hear what Moellering said? Teen
girls are now seeing online shopping as entertainment. What
a brilliant strategy. Since teenagers love to be entertained,
the marketer who makes that happen is going to be most
successful at getting girls to spend their money. Are you
talking to your daughters about manipulative marketing
practices and how to be a good steward of finances?
Binge-drinking is a term used to describe the practice of consuming
several alcoholic drinks in a row. Because of curiosity, marketing,
peer pressure, and a sense of
invulnerability, many of our teens
will engage in the dangerous
and sometimes deadly practice
of binge drinking. While binge
drinking is a problem for people
of all ages, a new study has found
that binging in the early to mid
teenage years can alter how the
brain deals with stress, even into
one’s adulthood. Because of ethical boundaries, the research was
conducted on rats rather than on real teenagers. But because the
brains of rats respond similarly to the human brain, researchers
were able to conclude that binge-drinking changes the effects of the
stress hormone known as cortisol, making it difficult for the brain to
adapt to stress. Concerns are that this can lead to long-term anxiety
and depression. Teach your kids to honor and glorify God by living
alcohol-free during their teenage years.
Tim Elmore runs an organization called “Growing Leaders.” His mission is
to lead the next generation into becoming leaders themselves. As part of his
work, Elmore endeavors to understand some of the roadblocks to personal
growth and leadership, including those roadblocks students face on the
college campus.
Recently, Elmore blogged on some surprising facts about college students.
Here are three facts that demand our attention:
www.CollegeTransitionInitiative.com
Surprising
Facts About
College
Students
by Walt Mueller
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October 2016 | www.cpyu.org
Fact 1: If the average college student gave up alcohol for a year, they would
save $900!
Fact 2: The average college student attends 62 parties a year.
Fact 3: Sixty percent of middle class college students won’t graduate in 6-8
years.
The church and home should work together to carefully craft responses
that will engage our kids in thinking critically and Christianly about who
they will choose to be when they get to college, and how they will choose to
live. College is a calling and a privilege. The who and how must be seen as
arenas for living out the faith as we teach kids to embrace, experience, and
work through college as an act of worship to the glory of God!
FROM THE WORD
New Podcast
Youth Culture Matters is a
new long-format podcast
from CPYU.
Co-hosted by Walt Mueller
and Jason Soucinek,
each episode features an
interview with an expert in a
youth culture related field.
Listen at
www.cpyu.org/podcast.
Available in the
CPYU Resource Center at
www.cpyuresourcecenter.org.
The Old Testament’s book of Proverbs is rich in wisdom. In fact, that’s why
it was written. In the first chapter of Proverbs we learn that the book was
written to “give prudence to the simple” and “knowledge and discretion
to the young” (1:4). Over and over the writer of Proverbs refers to “my
son,” an indication that the book is especially helpful for us as parents
as we work and pray to instill wisdom for life into the hearts and minds of
our children and teens. If you are a parent who endeavors to take every
opportunity to instruct your kids in God’s will and way for their lives (see
Deuteronomy 6:1-9), you should be passing on the wisdom of Proverbs.
In Proverbs 13:20 we find some of the
“He who walks with the
Bible’s best and most direct advice on
the kinds of company we should keep. In
wise grows wise, but
Eugene Peterson’s The Message, this verse
a companion of fools
is rendered this way: “Become wise by
suffers harm.”
walking with the wise; hang out with fools
and watch your life fall to pieces.” Yes, the
Proverbs 13:20
company that we keep does matter. Actor
Will Smith captured a practical reality of the
consequences of choosing friends when he said this: “Look at your five
closest friends. Those five friends are who you are.”
As you look for ways to teach your kids about the importance of choosing
good friends, take some time to ponder the company you keep. As we
endeavor to grow in our likeness to Christ, we should be choosing and
moving in a close circle of friends who look like Him. . . and who will make
us wise!
HELPFUL
resource
Dan Doriani understands that men don’t need more lists to excel as
husbands, fathers, or leaders. In The New Man: Becoming a Man After
God’s Heart, Doriani explains that the new man in Christ is shaped by
knowing God through his Word, because the way of a godly man is the
way of his God.
With a focus on honing character rather than following techniques,
Doriani helps you to reflect God’s character in marriage, friendships,
wealth, work, fitness, play, and more. You won’t find checklists for selfimprovement (or three ways to grill a steak), but you will find clarity,
honesty, encouragement and freedom in the Man who is not just our
example but ultimately our Savior.
© 2016 All rights reserved. The CPYU Parent Page is published monthly by the Center for Parent/
Youth Understanding, a nonprofit organization committed to building strong families by serving to
bridge the cultural-generational gap between parents and teenagers.
Phone: (717) 361-8429 Fax: (717) 361-8964 email: [email protected]
PO Box 414, Elizabethtown, PA 17022 | www.cpyu.org
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October 2016 | www.cpyu.org