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BODY LANGUAGE
In determining the attitude of the
speaker, research shows that up to 90
percent of the message is
communicated nonverbally.
Pay attention to body language,
both theirs and yours.
What is their body saying?
Is it reliable?
What is your body saying to them?
Recognize, however, that nonverbal behavior can be
ambiguous. Arms crossed in front of the body may mean
that the listener is hostile to the speaker's message or it
might just mean that the listener is more comfortable
listening with her arms folded.
These days, everyone knows a "little" about body
language so watch yours so that you do not inadvertently
communicate a negative attitude.
NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION FROM THE OTHER SIDE:
SPEAKING BODY LANGUAGE
John L. Barkai
Excerpt from
27 San Diego L. Rev. 101 (1990)
Nonverbal communication has been a major focus of attention for researchers
and practitioners in many different fields for over twenty-five years. Lawyers and
businesspeople, however, seem just beginning to awaken to what others have long
known - nonverbal behavior is extremely important in determining the nature of
communication and the relationship between the communicators.
Everyone has been informally trained since birth in the process of "sending" and
"receiving" nonverbal communication. The popular writers refer to these skills of
detecting and interpreting nonverbal behavior as "reading body language."
In most of the legal writing about reading nonverbal behavior the general
hypothesis has been that by using an analysis of nonverbal behavior, you may be able
to determine whether people you are talking to are receptive to you and your message.
While the focus on reading nonverbal behavior is important, it is, at the same
time, incomplete. We must be aware that nonverbal communication is a two-way
street. If you can read the nonverbal behavior of other people, those other people can
also read your body language.
Nonverbal communication can be used during negotiations, mediations,
facilitations, and other meetings.
The central idea presented here is that people can consciously "speak" body
language by adopting certain body postures. A large amount of empirical research in
the fields of counseling and psychotherapy has demonstrated that the body position of
the people can significantly affect the relationship between the people. By speaking
body language, you can improve rapport and do better in negotiations.
To "speak body language" you should adopt what has been called either an
"attending position" or the "postural echo or mirrored position."
TWO PHYSICAL POSITIONS TO TAKE WHEN YOU
WANT TO "SPEAK" BODY LANGUAGE
The SOLER Position:
The easiest to remember description of appropriate nonverbal attending posture is
referred to as the SOLER position. SOLER is an acronym for:
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
SQUARELY facing the client,
OPEN body position (arms or legs are not crossed),
LEAN forward showing attention,
EYE contact that is appropriate, and
RELAXED body position.
The SOLER posture is a natural, attentive posture that is unrelated to the posture of the
client. This posture not only conveys that attitude of openness, but it also puts you in
the best possible physical position both to notice important behavior of the other people
and to screen out all other distractions. The SOLER posture can be best implemented
if the seating is arranged so that there is no desk separating the people.
The Mirrored Position:
The other suggested position is the postural echo or mirrored position. This
position depends entirely upon the posture of the other person. You should "echo" the
posture of the other person. When two people are in a mirrored position, it is as if there
were a mirror between the two. This postural echo is often seen in everyday life and
has been the basis of considerable experimental research. The theory behind this
technique is that people who are in rapport or who share a common opinion often
assume mirrored body positions. Knowing that fact, by taking a mirrored position,
agreement can be communicated nonverbally.
Copy their body posture so it looks as if there is a mirror between you. However,
do not mirror hand and arm movements or make rapid changes in your position.