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Chapter 8 Interpersonal Communication ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Interpersonal Communication, continued • Interpersonal communication is “an interactional process in which one person sends a message to another.” – It involves at least two people – It is a process involving a series of actions – It is not “one-way”, but bi-directional ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Communication and Adjustment • Effective communication is essential for many important aspects of life. • Good communication enhances satisfaction in relationships. • Poor communication is a major cause of relationship break-ups. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Nonverbal Communication, continued • Nonverbal communication – “is the transmission of meaning from one person to another through means or symbols other than words." • A great deal of information is conveyed in this manner, so it is important to recognize the general principles of nonverbal communication. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Nonverbal Communication, continued • General principles of nonverbal communication 1. It conveys emotions: facial expressions and body posture can convey how we feel without words. 2. It is multichanneled: we use facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, vocal tone, and body language. 3. It is ambiguous: body language can be difficult to interpret. 4. It may contradict verbal messages: we may say one thing, but our body conveys something different. 5. It is culture-bound: nonverbal signals vary from one culture to another. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Elements of Nonverbal Communication 1. Personal space • Proxemics - “the study of personal space” • Personal space – “a zone of space surrounding a person that is felt to ‘belong’ to that person” • Preference for amount of personal space depends on – Culture (see Figure 8.4) – Status of the individuals involved – How well you know the person ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Elements, continued 2. Facial expression • Facial expressions convey basic emotions (see Figure 8.5), recognized by people around the world. – Anxiety may be a 7th distinct facial expression (see Figure 8.6). – It occurs in ambiguous situations where perceived threats are unclear. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Source: Photos courtesy of Paul Ekman, Ph.D./Paul Ekman Group, LLC Elements, continued 3. Eye contact • Duration of eye contact is the most meaningful aspect of this channel of nonverbal communication. • Among European Americans, high levels of eye contact are associated with effective social skills and credibility. • However, eye contact is judged as offensive by other cultures (e.g., Native American tribes). ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Elements, continued Eye contact, continued • Eye contact also conveys intensity of feelings. – In a positive context (e.g., romantic partners), long gazes signal loving feelings, but – In a negative context (e.g., road rage), long gazes are interpreted as stares, and they make people uncomfortable • Finally, eye contact is affected by status and gender (see Figure 8.7). ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Elements, continued 4. Body language • Kinesics – “the study of communication through body movements." – An “open” posture (e.g., arms uncrossed and down at sides) conveys a relaxed state. – A “closed” posture (arms crossed) conveys defensiveness or tension. – Finally, hand gestures emphasize the words we speak. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Elements, continued 5. Touch • Where and whom we touch conveys a variety of meanings, especially status and power. – There are strong norms that govern where we touch friends. – Female-female pairs touch more often than do male-male pairs. – Cross-gender touch is interpreted as support by females, but as power or sexual interest by males. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Elements, continued 6. Paralanguage • Paralanguage – “includes all vocal cues other than the content of the verbal message itself” – Variations in vocal emphasis can give different meanings to the same words. – Variations in speech also convey emotions (e.g., rapid speech indicates anxiety or excitement). ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Elements, continued Detecting deception • Nonverbal cues that actually indicate deception are often different from those most people believe indicate deception (see Figure 8.11). • For example: – Liars often say less, not more – Liars are not necessarily good “storytellers” and include less unusual content in stories – Liars are more tense and make a more negative impression on the listener ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved based on a research review by DePaulo, Stone, and Lassiter (1985 The Significance of Nonverbal Communication • Nonverbal sensitivity – “the ability to accurately encode (express) and decode (understand) nonverbal cues” • Woman tend to be better encoders and decoders. • However, this may stem from higher motivation. • Thus, anyone can improve their nonverbal skills. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved More Effective Communication, continued • Conversation skills: five steps for making successful “small talk” 1. Indicate you are open to conversation by commenting on your surroundings 2. Introduce yourself 3. Select a topic others can relate to 4. Keep the conversation ball rolling 5. Make a smooth exit ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved More Effective Communication, continued • Self-disclosure – “the act of sharing information about yourself with another person” is important to adjustment for several reasons. 1. Sharing problems with others plays a key role in mental health. 2. Self-disclosure helps build relationships. 3. Emotional self-disclosures lead to feelings of closeness. 4. Self-disclosure in romantic relationships is associated with relationship satisfaction. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved More Effective Communication, continued Self-disclosure, continued • What People Tell and Don’t Tell Others About Themselves – People DO recount stories about themselves. – People are NOT likely to disclose social transgressions to others. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved More Effective Communication, continued Self-disclosure, continued • Self-disclosure and relationship development – Self-disclosure varies over the course of relationships. o o At the beginning, there are high levels of mutual self-disclosure, which taper off as the relationship becomes established. In established relationships, disclosures are not necessarily reciprocated. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved More Effective Communication, continued Relationship development, continued • Movement away from reciprocal self-disclosures in established relationships occurs for two reasons: – There is more of a need for support than a reciprocal disclosure from the other person. – The need for privacy outweighs the need for mutual self-disclosure. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved More Effective Communication, continued Self-disclosure, continued • Culture, gender, and self-disclosure – Personal self-disclosures occur more in individualistic cultures, whereas disclosures about one’s group membership are the norm in collectivist cultures. – Females tend to disclose more than do males, and this trend is strongest within same-gender friendships. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved More Effective Communication, continued • Tips for effective listening 1. Signal your interest in the speaker by using nonverbal cues • Face the speaker squarely • Lean toward him or her • Try not to cross arms and legs • Maintain eye contact 2. Hear the other person out before you respond 3. Engage in “active listening” by – Asking for clarification if information is ambiguous – Paraphrasing what the person said by restating the speaker’s main points to ensure you have interpreted correctly 4. Pay attention to the other’s nonverbal cues ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Communication Problems, continued • Communication apprehension – “or anxiety caused by having to talk with others” is usually followed by one of four responses: 1. Avoidance – choosing not to participate 2. Withdrawal – “clamming up” in conversation you cannot escape 3. Disruption – the inability to make fluent statements 4. Overcommunication – (e.g., nervous speech) ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Communication Problems, continued • Barriers to effective communication 1. Defensiveness – “excessive concern with protecting oneself from being hurt” 2. Ambushing – listening carefully only to then verbally attack the speaker 3. Motivational distortion – hearing what you want to hear 4. Self-preoccupation – being so self-absorbed the other person cannot equally participate ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Interpersonal Conflict, continued • Beliefs about conflict – Most people believe any kind of conflict is bad. – However, avoiding conflict is usually counterproductive and leads to a selfperpetuating cycle (see Figure 8.14). – It is better to confront conflicts constructively so that issues can be aired and resolved. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Adapted from Lulofs, 1994 Interpersonal Conflict, continued • Styles of managing conflict – Two dimensions (concern for self and concern for others) underlie five distinct patterns of managing conflict (see Figure 8.16). 1. Avoiding/withdrawing (low concern for self and others) 2. Accommodating (low concern for self, high concern for others) 3. Competing/forcing (high concern for self, low concern for others) 4. Compromising (moderate concern for self and others) 5. Collaborating (high concern for self and others) – While compromising simply involves “splitting the difference”, collaborating involves finding a solution that is maximally satisfying to both parties. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Interpersonal Conflict, continued • Dealing constructively with conflict – Make communication honest and open – Exhibit Trust – Use specific behavior to describe another person’s annoying habits rather than general statements about their personality – Avoid “loaded” words – Try using “grace” – honoring others’ needs – Use a positive approach and help the other person “save face” – Limit complaints to recent behavior and to the current situation – Assume responsibility for your own feelings and preferences – Try to use an assertive communication style ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Developing an Assertive Style, continued • The nature of assertiveness – Assertiveness – “involves acting in your own best interests by expressing your thoughts and feelings directly and honestly” – In contrast, submissive communication involves “giving in” to others o Individuals who use this style report feeling bad about being “pushovers” – Aggressive communication is different from assertiveness and “focuses on saying and getting what you want at the expense of others." – Assertive communication is more adaptive than either submissive or aggressive communication, and is a skill that can be learned through assertiveness training. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved Developing an Assertive Style, continued • Steps in assertiveness training: 1. Understand what assertive communication is. • Don’t forget about nonverbal cues. 2. Monitor your assertive communication. • Identify when you are not assertive, find out who intimidates you, on what topics, and in which situations. 3. Observe a model’s assertive communication. 4. Practice assertive communication by using • Covert rehearsal – imagine using assertiveness in a situation that requires it. • Role playing – ask a friend to play the role of an antagonist so you can practice. 5. Adopt an assertive attitude. ©2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved