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Relationship 101: Friendship
Read: John 15:13-15
Consider: For something that we enjoy so immensely, friendship is difficult to define. MarriamWebster’s thesaurus states that a friend is a colleague, a supporter, a buddy, a collaborator, an
associate; but is not a stranger, a foe, or a rival. C.S. Lewis said that “friendship is unnecessary,
like philosophy, like art… It has not survival value; rather it is one of those things which give
value to survival.” Even the ancient Greeks, who had a nack for defining everything, had a hard
time doing so when it came to friendship. Their word, philo, had several meanings: unity,
happiness, hospitality, and companionship. They used it to describe a relationship in which life
was shared, for good or bad, between two or more people.
As difficult as it is to define friendship between your average folks, it is even more so to
define friendship with our Lord. Jesus told His disciples, “Greater love has no one than this, that
one lay down his life for his friends.” Then He told His disciples, “You are my friends.” But then
He added, “if you do what I command you.” I don’t know about you, but having to follow orders
doesn’t sound like friendship. It reminds me of a little girl who once announced to her friends,
“We’re a team! That means you have to do what I say.” Everyone laughed, because we all know
that this is not how teams work, nor friendships.
Yet, Jesus kept talking, telling His disciples that He did not call them slaves. Slave is the
term that found most often on the lips of the disciples when they spoke about their relationship
with Jesus. But Jesus made it plain that while He was their master, they were His friends. What’s
the difference? Jesus said that slaves don’t know what their masters do, but as friends, He had
shared with them everything His Father had made known to Him.
Another peculiar aspect of this friendship is that Jesus choose these men to be His disciples,
and not they Him. Jesus told them, that He chose them because He knew that they would bear
fruit. Rather than elaborating on this point, Jesus informs these men that as friends, they will be
able to ask His Father for anything in His name and it will be given to them. This is not a blank
check for personal gain, but a get out of jail free card. It was for what could happen in the
absence of silver and gold. Jesus knew that when His friends began scattering the gospel seed,
they would need a lot of help. Friends act that way; they help one another. Which makes sense
since the command Jesus gave them was to love. May we have many friends, including that
special kind of friendship with Jesus that the disciples enjoyed.
Prayer: Jesus, help us love as You love. Amen.