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The GO GREEN Pages
Pre-AP/IB English II
Westwood High School
2016-2017
Contents:
Topic
Class Guidelines
Association Words (to describe characters or tone)
Page(s)
1
2-3
Verbs for Literary Analysis
4
Theme Vocabulary
4
Format for AP Cards
5
Connecting Devices to Meaning (Analysis Skills)
A Generic AP Rubric
Writing Errors to Avoid
6-8
9
10-12
Useful Transitions and Linking Expressions
13
Editing Symbols and Abbreviations
14
Developing an Analytical Voice (3 Levels Chart)
15
Appeals of Rhetoric (Logos, Ethos, and Pathos)
16
Writing a Rhetorical Précis
17
Topic
Debrief Log for Timed Writings
Page(s)
18
0
The GO GREEN Pages
(Help in pre-AP/IB English II to help you go, go, go!)
Welcome to pre-AP/IB English II. I am thrilled that you will be joining me this year. I commend you for choosing the advanced
English program and promise to work hard to prepare you for the challenge. I expect that you will contribute your best work and
effort each day. This will be a busy year, but I hope it will be a fun and exciting one as well.
File these GO GREEN pages in the reference section of your 3-ring notebook and bring it to class with you daily. The GO GREEN
pages are designed to provide you with a ready reference for information you will need in order to complete some course
requirements and class assignments.
READING LIST:
1.
Lord of the Flies – William Golding
2.
Selected Writings of the Transcendentalists (will be provided in class)
3.
One literary work chosen from a teacher-provided choice [Bless Me, Ultima (Anaya) or The Joy Luck Club (Tan)]
4.
Outliers by Malcom Gladwell
5.
Macbeth – William Shakespeare
MAKE-UP WORK:
1.
Inform me in advance of or as soon as you return from an absence.
2.
Major assignments, also known as “product grades” (projects, papers, etc.), are due on the assigned date whether you are
present in class on that day or not. If you are unable to attend class on the due date, send your assignment with a friend,
sibling, or parent. Major assignments are penalized at a rate of 10 points per day (calendar day, not class day),
beginning with the hour when the assignment is due (the block when you would be in class). My intention is not to make
your life miserable but to ensure that students do not stay home from school in order to complete assignments.
3.
Quizzes, tests, and other assessments assigned in advance must be taken on the assigned date even if you are absent the
preceding class. In other words, keep up with your reading schedule! Unless there are special circumstances (usually
approved in advance), absences do not alter your reading schedule. Check my site (https://goo.gl/Pzh8E3) often.
4.
If you missed a quiz, test, or timed writing, make an appointment according to the posted make-up work flyer that provides
adequate time to complete what you missed. All make-up work must be completed within one week of your return to school
unless you have made other arrangements with me because of some very special circumstances. Failure to do so may result
in a grade of 0. You need to sign up with me (so that your work may be prepared) to make up your work; please be faithful
to show up at your arranged day and time.
5.
Take advantage of my Google calendar to keep up, but remember that I may alter the lesson plans and assignments listed
there for instructional purposes. Never return to class asking, “Did I miss anything?” Instead, check My Google site
before you return, so that you know what you missed and only need to ask for specific materials (as applicable).
7.
To contact me at school, you may call my room (512-428-3293) or email me ([email protected]). Please
note that after I leave campus for the day, I may not check e-mail again until the next morning.
SUPPLIES:
1.
3-ring notebook (or a portion of a large notebook binder), 5 dividers, and notebook paper
2.
pens – blue or black ink for writing, red for editing activities
3.
#2 pencils (caution: some mechanical pencils do not work well on scantron machines)
4.
highlighters – yellow, green, blue, pink required
5.
copy of the novel or play we are currently reading
ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE NEEDED IN CLASS DAILY.
NOTEBOOK ORGANIZATION:
Section 1:
Section 2:
Section 3:
Section 4:
Section 5:
Reference (including these GO GREEN pages)
Warm-Ups
Major Works
All material on the major work currently being studied (handouts, notes, etc.)
Writing
(A)
Returned timed and other writings
(B)
Writing in progress (brainstorming, outlines, drafts, etc.)
(C)
Notes and handouts pertaining to writing
Poetry
(A)
Any handouts related to poetry and poetry analysis
(B)
All daily work or returned major work related to poetry
1
Association Words (to describe characters and/or tone)
Friendliness or Kindness
Accommodating
Amiable
Approving
Benevolent
Caressing
Comforting
Compassionate
As you make use of this word list, whenever you
encounter an unfamiliar word, record its
definition in the space to the right of the word.
Confiding
Cordial
Courteous
Forgiving
Friendly
Giddy
Gracious
Helpful
Indulgent
Kindly
Loving
Obliging
Pitying
Polite
Sociable
Solicitous
Soothing
Sympathetic
Tender
Tolerant
Ecstatic
Elated
Enraptured
Frivolous
Joyful
Jubilant
Peaceful
Playful
Pleasant
Satisfied
Sprightly
Energetic
Euphoric
Exalted
Exuberant
Feverish
Hasty
Hearty
Hopeful
Inspired
Lively
Passionate
Rapturous
Vigorous
Greedy
Hasty
Hysterical
Impetuous
Impulsive
Indignant
Jealous
Nervous
Obsessive
Outraged
Passionate
Reckless
Revengeful
Savage
Seductive
Sultry
Wild
Wrathful
Zealous
Imperturbable
Laconic
Mild
Nonchalant
Quiet
Remote
Serene
Serious
Simple
Solemn
Stern
Temperate
Wary
Didactic
Doubting
Frank
Guileless
Incredulous
Innocent
Insinuating
Instructive
Inventive
Pensive
Persuading
Persuasive
Pleading
Preoccupied
Questioning
Shrewd
Sincere
Studied
Thoughtful
Thoughtless
Wistful
Humorous
Ironic
Mocking
Playful
Sardonic
Satiric
Uproarious
Witty
Pleasure
Bright
Cheerful
Contented
Dreamy
Animation
Ardent
Brisk
Eager
Earnest
Ecstatic
Passion
Angry
Childish
Desperate
Enraged
Fierce
Frantic
Furious
Self-control
Calm
Cautious
Confident
Cool
Gentle
Logic or Persuasion
Admonitory
Argumentative
Candid
Coaxing
Critical
Cynical
Deliberate
Humor (sometimes biting)
Amused
Comic
Facetious
2
Prestige or Self-importance
Arrogant
Assured
Audacious
Authoritative
Boastful
Bold
Bombastic
Challenging
Chauvinistic
Condemnatory
Apathy or Sadness
Banal
Blasé
Bored
Colorless
Complacent
Condescending
Confident
Contemptuous
Defiant
Dignified
Dominating
Domineering
Egotistical
Exultant
Flippant
Haughty
Hypnotic
Imperious
Impious
Impressive
Insolent
Knowing
Lofty
Patronizing
Peremptory
Petulant
Pompous
Presumptuous
Profound
Proud
Resolute
Saucy
Sententious
Stiff
Superior
Defeated
Dispassionate
Dull
Feeble
Helpless
Hopeless
Indifferent
Languid
Lethargic
Passive
Resigned
Sluggish
Stoical
Vacant
Deprecatory
Devout
Docile
Fawning
Fearful
Groveling
Horrified
Humble
Impotent
Ingratiating
Meek
Modest
Obedient
Obsequious
Pitiful
Respectful
Reverent
Servile
Shocked
Shy
Submissive
Sycophantic
Terrified
Timid
Uncomprehending
Unpretentious
Willing
Concerned
Disbelief
Embarrassed
Overwhelmed
Perturbed
Puzzled
Disgusted
Disheartened
Dismal
Fretful
Frightened
Irritable
Melancholy
Miserable
Mournful
Pathetic
Plaintive
Querulous
Regretful
Sore
Sorrowful
Sour
Sulky
Sullen
Tragic
Troubled
Uneasy
Vexed
Weary
Worried
Disparaging
Envious
Harsh
Hypocritical
Impudent
Insolent
Insulting
Malicious
Pitiless
Reproving
Rude
Sarcastic
Sardonic
Scolding
Scornful
Severe
Sharp
Spiteful
Surreptitious
Suspicious
Threatening
Unsocial
Timidity and Submission to forcefulness
Aghast
Agreeable
Alarmed
Ashamed
Astonished
Astounded
Awed
Cautious
Contrite
Confusion or Dissatisfaction
Baffled
Bewildered
Pain
Annoyed
Bitter
Bleak
Bored
Cheerless
Crushed
Disappointed
Discouraged
Unfriendliness
Accusing
Aggressive
Belittling
Boorish
Caustic
Contemptuous
Cutting
Derisive
© 2008 Michael Degen, Ph.D.; adapted with permission by Jennifer Cullen
3
VERBS
These verbs will be especially effective when the subject is the author or a character. They are excellent replacements for
“be” verbs. Careful use of these verbs can result in precise identification of an author’s purpose.
VERBS FOR LITERARY ANALYSIS
accentuates
considers
accepts
contrasts
advocates
defines
argues
delineates
attacks
depicts
attributes
differentiates
bases
dissipates
challenges
distorts
characterizes
downplays
chooses
elicits
claims
emphasizes
compares
enumerates
compels
evokes
expresses
foreshadows
heightens
highlights
illustrates
implies
juxtaposes
maintains
minimizes
observes
opposes
personifies
persuades
ponders
portrays
presents
presumes
provides
questions
recapitulates
reflects
rejects
reveals
suggests
symbolizes
sympathizes
THEME VOCABULARY
Brendan Kenny’s List of Abstract Ideas for Forming Theme Statements:
alienation
ambition
appearance v. reality
betrayal
bureaucracy
chance/fate/luck
children
courage/cowardice
cruelty/violence
custom/tradition
defeat/failure
despair/discontent/disillusionment
domination/suppression
dreams/fantasies
duty
education
escape
exile
faith/loss of faith
falsity/pretence
family/parenthood
free will/willpower
game/contests/sports
greed
guilt
heart v. reason
heaven/paradise/Utopia
home
identity
illusion/innocence
initiation
instinct
journey (literal or
psychological)
law/justice
loneliness/solitude
loyalty/disloyalty
materialism
memory/the past
mob psychology
music/dance
patriotism
persistence/perseverance
poverty
prejudice
prophecy
repentance
revenge/retribution
ritual/ceremony
scapegoat/victim
social status (class)
the supernatural
time/eternity
war
women/feminism
Subject
1.
What is the work about? Provide a one to three word answer. See “Theme Vocabulary” above for ideas.
Theme
2.
What is the author’s message with regard to #1 as it pertains to the human condition? In other words, what comment
does the work make on human nature, the human condition, human motivation, or human ambition?
3.
In identifying and stating theme, be sure that the observation:
(a) is not too terse to express the complexity of the human experience.
(b) avoids moralizing words such as should and ought.
(c) avoids specific reference to plot and characters.
(d) avoids absolute words such as anyone, all, none, everything, and everyone.
4.
Using both dependent and independent clauses, write a complex sentence which fulfills the requirements above and which
explains one of the major themes of the work.
Sample for Anna Karenina – Subject: sacred versus profane love
Theme: Although people can, through no fault of their own, become entrapped in long-lasting and destructive relationships, “sacred”
commitments, like marriage and parenthood, take precedence over extramarital “loves,” no matter how passionate and deeply felt
they may be.
(sample from Writing Essays about Literature by Kelley Griffith)
4
Format for “AP Cards”
Note: Directions may be modified slightly at your teacher’s discretion.
Cards should be stored and saved for your senior year.
Respond most often in complete, articulate sentences. Record the number of each task (and any word or
phrase in bold) on your card. You may be asked to skip a line before each new task.
Student Name ____________________________
Block _______
1.
(a) Title:
(b) Significance of the title:
2.
Genre:
3.
(a) Date of original publication:
(b) Author:
(c) Relevant biographical information on the author including: nationality of author, important events (personal, political,
cultural) in his/her lifetime, and influences on his/her writing.
4.
(a) Setting (including: time span of the story, time period in which the story is set, and place[s] in which the story is set) (b)
Importance of this setting (consider ideas/beliefs indicative of the time and possible symbolism)
5.
Plot (including exposition, key conflicts, and resolution)
6.
Structure (including flashback, flash forward, and in media res)
7.
Point of view (including perspective and emotional distance of the narrator from the events)
8.
Style (provide a citation – with page number – as proof of each response):
(a) Characterize the author’s diction. (formal or informal; provincial or learned, emotional or objective, etc)
(b) Does this author depend more often on abstract or concrete language? Why is his/her choice effective?
(c) Provide an example of one of the following syntactical choices and explain how this choice is effective in context:
parallelism, rhetorical question, repetition, parenthetical expression, or deliberate fragment
9.
Characters (provide descriptions – physical and behavioral – for each character):
(a) protagonist:
(b) antagonist and/or antagonistic forces:
(c) important secondary characters (2-3):
10. Three Symbols or Allusions (and significance of each within the literary work)
Reminder for symbols: express each in terms of the concrete or literal meaning (e.g., the U.S. flag) and the
symbolic or abstract meaning (freedom, independence). Remember that symbols can take the form of things,
places, events, or actions.
Reminder for allusions: often, an allusion – since it is a reference thought to be familiar – adds emphasis to the
experiences or nature of a character by forming a link to something beyond the text of the work. A discussion of
significance will often require consideration of connotation (of the allusion itself).
a)
b)
c)
11. Theme(s) and Justification of Theme(s):
5
How to Connect Rhetorical Choices (Devices) to Meaning
NOTE: In general, a connection of device-to-meaning should be 3-5 sentences long. The templates below are
a starting place; you will eventually learn to vary them to suit your purposes. A connection must
articulate the meaning a device suggests and HOW this suggestion is achieved.
Diction
 Identify the grammatical unit (phrase, noun, verb, adjective, adverb, etc.) and provide the context in which it appears in the
text.
 Connect the diction to the meaning of this text. Avoid generic commentary. Provide an original insight. Pay attention to
your own diction. It enhances your analysis.
Model:
The word* _______________________________ used to describe/identify__________________________________________
conveys _______________________ since / because / in that _____________________________________________________.
This is significant because _________________________________________________________________________________.
* or the noun, verb, adjective, adverb, phrase (no more than 2-3 words)
Example:
The phrase, “a thin beard of ivy,” used to describe Gatsby’s mansion conveys both intrigue and inexperience. Since the
ivy is “thin,” Fitzgerald suggests a wealth without lineage, newly formed and barely veiled; yet, the ivy as a “beard”
suggests a worldly desire to conceal. This is significant because through the description of his mansion, Gatsby is
portrayed as both ingénue and chameleon, alerting the reader to the protagonist’s dual and perhaps contradictory nature.
Imagery
 Identify the image and provide the context in which it appears in the text.
 Connect the image to the meaning of this text. Avoid generic commentary. Provide an original insight. Pay attention to
your own diction. It enhances your analysis.
Model:
The image of ______________________________ depicts / conveys a (picture, sense, state, etc.) of _____________________
because the reader (sees, envisions, realizes) that _______________________________________________________________.
This is significant because _________________________________________________________________________________.
Example:
The image of an “argument . . . pull[ing]” Nick back to the party “as if with ropes” conveys his helpless struggle to get
away from the gathering in Tom and Myrtle’s apartment at the same time that it dramatizes his fascination with the
inebriated and adulterous events that are occurring. The reader can see that much as ropes confine, restrain, and render
one helpless, Nick, due perhaps to a lack of experience or a flawed moral code, remains discomfited yet seems unable to
confront or reject the lies and pretenses of the party guests. This is significant because the reader must question Nick’s
declarations that he is tolerant and honest.
6
Metaphor (including Simile)
 Identify the metaphor and provide the context in which it appears in the text.
 Connect the metaphor to the meaning of this text. Avoid generic commentary. Provide an original insight. Pay attention to
your own diction. It enhances your analysis.
Model:
The subject of (x) __________________________ is compared to (y) _________________________. This is fitting because
(x) __________________________ and (y) ___________________________ share these characteristics: (a) _____________
__________________________________________ and (b) ____________________________________________________.
This is significant because _______________________________________________________________________________.
Example:
In his “I Have a Dream” speech, Martin Luther King, Jr. compares the condition of poverty to a “lonely island.” This is a
fitting comparison because poverty and a lonely island share these characteristics: (a) isolation and alienation from the
“vast ocean of material prosperity” which surrounds them and (b) both are small, singled out, vulnerable, and surrounded
by something they don’t possess. This comparison causes the audience to consider the tangible social barriers created by
an invisible financial limitation and to feel sympathy for the isolated poor.
Detail


Identify the detail and provide the context in which it appears in the text.
Remember: details are the facts of the text that don’t require quoting its language.
Describe the function of the inclusion of that detail in this text. Avoid generic commentary. Provide an original insight.
Pay attention to your own diction. It enhances your analysis.
Model:
The detail of _________________________________________________________________ conveys ___________________
________________________________________________ since / because / in that ___________________________________
________________________________.. The author wants the reader to see ________________________________________
____________________________________ (because / so that) ___________________________________________________.
Example:
The detail of the string of polo ponies Tom Buchanan brought east with him from Chicago conveys his vast wealth and
hedonism. Moving the ponies is expensive and unnecessary, suggesting that Tom does not need to concern himself with
cost but does concern himself with appearing more powerful than his peers. Fitzgerald wants the reader to see Tom as
spoiled and self-indulgent so that Tom will appear distasteful even before the reader learns of his current affair.
7
Syntax
 Identify the syntactical choice the author has made and provide the context in which it appears in the text. Do NOT write:
The writer uses syntax. Since syntax refers to the order and structure of words, phrases, etc, it always exists – even if you do
not find it noteworthy.
 Connect the syntax to the meaning of this text. Avoid generic commentary. Provide an original insight. Pay attention to
your own diction. It enhances your analysis.
Model:
The ________________________________ function(s) to ____________________________________
____________________________________________________________________. This structure supports the author’s purpose to
_________________________________________________________.
Example:
Gatsby’s interrupted sentences dramatize his nervousness and hesitation as he discusses his upcoming meeting with
Daisy at Nick’s bungalow. Stuttering, “Why, I thought – why, look here, old sport, you don’t make very much money,
do you,” Gatsby reveals his true vulnerability and weakness showing a stark contrast to the “greatness” that has been
established in the early chapters of the novel. Fitzgerald continues to reveal chinks in Gatsby’s armor as the novel
progresses preparing the reader for protagonist’s ultimate fall.
Allusion
 Identify the allusion (indirect reference by an author to another text, historical occurrence, or to myths and legends) and
provide the context in which it appears in the text.
 Describe the function of the allusion in this text. Avoid generic commentary. Provide an original insight. Pay attention to
your own diction. It enhances your analysis.
Model:
The author or speaker alludes to ________________________________________ in order to
______________________________________________. Through this reference, the reader connects
___________________________ to _________________ and can more fully understand the author’s purpose to
_________________________________________.
Example:
“For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.”
Barack Obama
Obama’s allusions to Concord, Gettysburg, Normandy, and Khe Sahn offer examples of struggles that Americans have
faced in the past which parallel the unique struggles Americans believe they are currently facing with our economy,
environment, and world conflict. Even though the references are meant to show these struggles, the president’s desired
effect is to provide hope and resolve to the listener since these battles resulted in victories for America. Citizens are
reminded that they can be victorious in our modern struggles.
Examples of “generic” commentary: gets the reader’s attention, draws the reader in, etc.
8
A Generic (AP) Rubric
8-9
Answers all parts of the question completely, using specific evidence from the work
and showing how that evidence is relevant to the point being made. Demonstrates clear
understanding of the work and recognizes complexities of attitude or tone.
Demonstrates stylistic maturity by an effective command of sentence structure, diction,
and organization. Need not be without flaws, but must reveal an ability to choose from
and control a wide range of the elements of effective writing.
6-7
Also accurately answers all parts of the question, but does so less fully or effectively
than essays in the top range. (Discussion of techniques used in a passage may be less
thorough and less specific.) Well written in an appropriate style, but with less maturity
than top papers. Some lapses in diction or syntax may appear, but demonstrates
sufficient control over the elements of composition to present the writer's ideas clearly.
5
Discusses the question, but may be simplistic or imprecise. (May attempt to discuss the
techniques in the passage, but may be overly general or vague.) Adequately written, but
may demonstrate inconsistent control over the elements of composition. Organization is
attempted, but may not be fully realized or particularly effective.
3-4
Attempts to answer the question, but does so either inaccurately or without the support
of specific evidence. (May confuse the attitude presented in the passage or otherwise
misrepresent the passage.) Discussion of techniques may be omitted or inaccurate.
Writing may convey the writer's ideas, but reveals weak control over diction, syntax, or
organization. May contain many spelling or grammatical errors. Statements are seldom
supported with specific or persuasive evidence.
1-2
Fails to respond adequately to the question. May misunderstand the question (or the
passage) May fail to discuss the techniques used or otherwise fail to respond adequately
to the question. Unacceptably brief or poorly written on several counts. Writing reveals
consistent weakness in grammar or other basic elements of composition. May make
some attempt to answer the question, but response has little clarity and only slight, if
any, evidence in its support.
0
A blank paper or one that makes no attempt to deal with the question receives no credit.
9
Writing Errors to Avoid
#1: Incorrect Punctuation of Two Independent Clauses
(An independent clause has a subject and a verb and can stand alone as a sentence.)
Good writers know that correct punctuation is important to writing clear sentences. If you misuse a mark of punctuation, you risk
confusing your reader and appearing careless. Notice how the placement of commas significantly affects the meaning of these
sentences:
Mr. Jones, says Ms. Moore, is a boring old fool.
Mr. Jones says Ms. Moore is a boring old fool.
Writers often combine independent clauses in a single compound sentence to emphasize the relationship between ideas. The
punctuation of compound sentences varies depending upon how you connect the clauses.
The rules are:
(a) Separate independent clauses with a comma when using a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, for, nor, so, yet).
(b) Separate independent clauses with a semi-colon when no coordinating conjunction is used.
(c) Separate independent clauses with a semi-colon when using a conjunctive adverb (e.g., however, therefore, thus,
consequently, finally, nevertheless).
Examples of Correct Punctuation, Rule a:
1. We all looked worse than usual, for we had stayed up studying for the exam.
2. This room is unbelievably hot, and I think that I am going to pass out.
Examples of Correct Punctuation, Rule b:
1. We all looked worse than usual; we had stayed up all night studying for the exam.
2. This room is unbelievably hot; I think I am going to pass out.
Examples of Correct Punctuation, Rule c:
1. We all looked worse than usual; however, we were relieved we had studied.
2. The discussion is really interesting; nevertheless, I think I am going to pass out.
#2: Misuse of the Apostrophe
Use the apostrophe to indicate possession and to mark omitted letters in contractions. Writers often misuse apostrophes when
forming plurals and possessives. The basic rule is quite simple: use the apostrophe to indicate
possession, not a plural. Yes, the exceptions to the rule may seem confusing: hers has no apostrophe, and it's is not possessive.
Nevertheless, with a small amount of attention, you can learn the rules and the exceptions of apostrophe use.
Possessives
 Form the possessive case of a singular noun by adding 's (even if the word ends in s).
Hammurabi's code, Dickens's last novel, James's cello

Form the possessive case of a plural noun by adding an apostrophe after the final letter if it is an s or by adding 's if the final
letter is not an s.
the students' desks, the children's toys

Remember: the apostrophe never designates the plural form of a noun. A common error is the use of the apostrophe to form
a non-possessive plural. Compare the following correct sentences:
The student's disk was missing.
Several students' disks were missing.
The students searched for their missing disks.
10

Possessive pronouns, such as yours, hers, its, and ours, take no apostrophe.
The decision is yours.

Indefinite pronouns, such as anyone, everybody, no one, somebody, use the singular possessive form.
Somebody's dog stayed in our suite last night.
Contractions
 The apostrophe is used to mark omitted letters in contractions.
(Note: contractions are often considered too informal for academic writing.)

Avoid the dreadful it's/its confusion.
It's is a contraction for it is. It's is never a possessive.
Its is the possessive for it.
As Professors Strunk and White remind us in Elements of Style,
“It's a wise dog that scratches its own fleas” (1).
#3: Pronoun Problems
Pronouns are useful as substitutes for nouns, but a poorly chosen pronoun can obscure the meaning of a sentence.
Common pronoun errors include:
 Unclear Pronoun Reference
A pronoun must refer to a specific noun (the antecedent). Ambiguous pronoun reference creates confusing sentences.
Poor Example: Writers should spend time thinking about their arguments to make sure they are not superficial.
(Unclear antecedent: who or what are superficial?)
If a whiff of ambiguity exists, use a noun:
A key difference between banking crises of today and yesterday is that today’s crises have greater global impact.
 Vague Subject Pronoun
Pronouns such as it, there, and this often make weak subjects.
Poor Example: Pope Gregory VII forced Emperor Henry IV to wait three days in the snow at Canossa before granting him an
audience. It was a symbolic act. (To what does it refer? Forcing the Emperor to wait? The waiting? The
granting of the audience? The audience? The entire sentence?)
Use a pronoun as subject only when its antecedent is crystal clear.
 Agreement Error
A pronoun must agree in gender and number with its antecedent. A common error is the use of the plural pronoun they to refer to a
singular noun.
Poor Example: In the original state constitution, they allowed polygamy. [They (plural) refers to constitution (singular).]
Revised:
The original state constitution allowed polygamy.
It is often better to use a plural noun and pronoun than to use a singular noun and pronoun. Note that indefinite pronouns
such as each and everyone are singular.
Each student must meet his or her advisor. (correct but awkward)
Each student must meet with their advisor. (incorrect: singular noun, plural pronoun)
Students must meet with their advisors. (correct: plural noun and pronoun)
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#4: Committing Pet Peeves
Learning to write clearly and effectively is a central part of your education. As the Hamilton College Catalogue notes,
"The college expects its students to think, write and speak with clarity, understanding and precision." Below is a list of
professors' pet peeves you should bear in mind as you aim for "clarity, understanding and precision" in your writing.
Pet Peeve
Problem
Correction
Pronoun antecedent
agreement
The student finished the essay only to discover
that their printer did not work.
The student finished the essay only to discover that his
printer did not work.
Bloated diction
Once liberty is actualized, justice will burgeon.
With liberty, justice grows.
Use of “I” as
object of a verb
They went with Richard and I to tour the
Coliseum.
They went with Richard and me to tour the Coliseum.
Indefinite
antecedent
President Johnson’s ignoring of George Ball’s
Vietnam memo proved disastrous for him. (for
whom?)
President Johnson’s ignoring of George Ball’s Vietnam
memo proved disastrous for the president. (for whom?)
Loose vs. lose
Forecasters fear that stocks will loose value
next year. (loose rhymes with goose)
Forecasters fear that stocks will lose value next year.
(lose rhymes with shoes)
Than vs. then
The report indicates that Americans work more
hours then Europeans.
The report indicates that Americans work more hours
than Europeans.
Affect vs. effect
We studied the affect of the angle on
acceleration. (affect is generally a verb)
We studied the effect of the angle on acceleration. (effect
is a noun)
Less vs. fewer
Pizza has less calories than French fries.
Pizza has fewer calories than French fries.
Who vs. which or
that
Johnny is the one that made an “A.”
Johnny is the one who made an “A.”
Indefinite you
When you read the poem, you notice the theme
immediately.
After reading the poem, the audience notices the theme
immediately.
Abbreviations
Freebird’s originated in College Station, TX.
Freebird’s originated in College Station, Texas. (YUM!!)
Preposition at the
end of the
sentence
Where is the library at?
Where is the library?
Who are you going with?
With whom are you going?
Expletive
sentence
beginnings
There are eight blocks in our schedule.
Our schedule has eight blocks.
Progressive verb
tense
The writer is stating that life is fragile.
The writer states that life is fragile.
Literary present
tense
The world portrayed in Fahrenheit 451 was
one in which books were banned.
The world portrayed in Fahrenheit 451 is one in which
books are banned.
A lot
I enjoyed reading the novel a lot. (A lot is a
piece of land. Do not use is to describe a large
amount of something.)
I enjoyed reading the novel tremendously.
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Useful Transitions and Linking Expressions
In the following chart, I’ve included a sample list of transition words and phrases. Keep in mind that each
transition has a particular function and meaning; therefore, you need to carefully match any possible
transition to the content of your writing. Remember that transitions are just as important within paragraphs as
they are at the beginning of each one.
Transitions which can be used to show location:
above
across
against
along
alongside
amid
among
around
away from
back of
behind
below
beneath
beside
between
beyond
by
down
in front of
inside
into
near
off
onto
on top of
outside
over
throughout
to the right
under
yesterday
next week
soon
later
afterward
immediately
finally
then
next
in the meantime
as soon as
when
as
comparatively
similarly
furthermore
Transitions which can be used to show time:
about
after
at
before
during
first
second
third
prior to
till
until
meanwhile
today
tomorrow
Transitions which can be used to compare two things:
in the same way
also
likewise
like
Transitions which can be used to contrast things (show differences):
but
however
even so
yet
in the meantime
nevertheless
on the other hand
still
on the contrary
although
even though
conversely
otherwise
counter to
as opposed to
for this reason
in fact
truly
in effect
Transitions which can be used to emphasize a point:
again
without a doubt
indeed
with this in mind
Transitions which can be used to conclude or summarize:
as a result
finally
in conclusion
consequently
thus
therefore
accordingly
due to
in summary
in short
to sum up
all in all
furthermore
likewise
moreover
further
furthermore
next
finally
as well
together with
along with
to clarify
specifically
for instance
Transitions which can be used to add information:
again
also
additionally
in addition
another
and
besides
equally important
for example
for instance
Transitions which can be used to clarify:
that is
in other words
put another way
stated differently
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Editing Symbols and Abbreviations
In the following chart, I’ve included a list of symbols and abbreviations that I may use in evaluating your
writing; you should also use them during peer editing activities.
Transpose elements (Switch words or phrases)
Delete
Begin new paragraph
No new paragraph (Connect to preceding paragraph.)
Insert (a missing word, phrase, or punctuation mark)
Close space (Join two words into one.)
,
p.
Agr
Awk
Frag
R-O or CS
Rep
||
SP
T
V
WW
PWC
GWC
DEV
U
T.W. or T.S.
LOG
TAG
QS
TE
COM
So?
Superfluous Comma (Delete comma.)
Incorrect or missing punctuation
Agreement problem: subject/verb or pronoun/antecedent
Awkward expression or construction (of phrase or sentence)
Fragment
Run-on sentence (CS refers to a Comma Splice, a run-on created by separating two
independent clauses with only a comma)
Unnecessary Repetition
Problem in Parallel Form (of phrases, etc.)
Spelling Error (This includes incorrect use of homonyms.)
Verb Tense problem
Weak Verb (Improve Verb Choice)
Wrong Word (including a word form that does not exist)
Poor Word Choice
Good Word Choice
Develop Idea/Claim with Specifics
Unclear - indicates that the meaning of the phrase or sentence is unclear in meaning – OR
Unfounded – indicates that interpretation that cannot be substantiated by the text
Transition Word / Sentence - indicates need for a smoother transition by using a key
transitional phrase / sentence
Illogical Reasoning (or a logical progression that has not been fully formed)
Title, Author, Genre (These should be included in the introduction of a timed writing.)
Incomplete or Poor Quotation Sandwich
Insufficient or Missing Textual Evidence
Insufficient Commentary – Link to Meaning has not been fully formed
So What? -- a statement within the work (or discussion of a particular piece of evidence)
lacks clear significance
Indicates an insightful and/or well-articulated statement
14
Developing an Analytical Voice
Level One: Identify how the situation is created; observe what you see.
(collecting evidence)
Diction: What types of words are used or repeated?
Imagery: How is the image created? What are its parts? What senses are provoked?
Detail: What’s the setting? Who are the characters? What are the facts of the text
that don’t require quoting its language?
Level Two: What abstract
associations
emerge from the language of the text?
This list of “Level
Two” words is only a
sample list. Any
abstract noun that
names what the
evidence (Level One)
conveys may be
appropriate. See page
4 (theme vocabulary)
for additional ideas or
generate your own.
Fear?
Excitement?
Violence?
Chaos?
Order?
Arrogance?
Submission?
Confidence?
Confinement?
Freedom?
Benevolence?
association
Level Three: Identify the
The
May be part of a larger
to the rest of the text:
Interpretive
Perspective /
CLAIM about:
relationships
repetition [similarity, analogy, recurrence, echo, parallelism]
contrast [incongruity, antithesis, opposition, tension]
shift [turn, transformation, alteration]
juxtaposition [contiguity, adjacency]
Tone
Attitude
Voice
Atmosphere
Character
Thematic idea
Ethical appeal
Logical appeal
Emotional appeal
Aristotle’s Topics:
definition, comparison,
consequence
Adapted (by Jennifer Cullen) from materials by Michael Degen, Ph.D. © 2008
15
Aristotle and the Appeals of Rhetoric
Logos, Ethos, Pathos
Logical Appeals- (logos)
Logical appeals are the reasons given for supporting a particular argument. Examples of logical appeals include the use of evidence,
facts and figures, references to current events, and testimony. Effective logical appeals depend upon the ability of the writer to
connect the multiple examples of support to each other in meaningful ways.
 Incorporate inductive or deductive reasoning
 Allude to history, great literature, or mythology
 Provide reputable testimony
 Provide evidence, facts
 Cite authorities
 Quote research or statistics
 Theorize cause and effect
 Argue that something meets a given definition
Example:
We gotta get these nets. They’re coated with an insecticide and cost between $4 and $6. You need about $10, all told, to get
them shipped and installed. Some nets can cover a family of four. And they last four years. If we can cut the spread of
disease, 10 bucks means a kid might get to live. Make it $20 and more kids are saved.
Taken from Rick Reilly’s “Nothing But Nets”
Ethical Appeals- (ethos)
Ethical appeals are attempts by the speaker/writer to make connections to the audience by appearing knowledgeable, reasonable,
ethical, etc. A writer is able to make an effective argument only when readers have no reason to doubt the writer’s character on a
given topic. Writers who fail to acknowledge other points of view, exaggerate, or assume a tone of disrespect have difficulty making
ethical appeals to readers.
 Make the audience believe the writer is trustworthy
 Demonstrate the writer carefully conducted research
 Demonstrate that the writer knows the audience and respects them
 Convince the audience that the writer is reliable and knowledgeable
 Use first person plural pronouns (“we” and “us”) to establish a relationship with the audience
Example:
My Fellow Clergymen:
While confined here in Birmingham city jail, I came across your recent statement calling my present activities unwise and
untimely,…since I feel that you are men of genuine good will and that your criticisms are sincerely set forth, I want to
answer your statement in what I hope will be patient and reasonable terms.
Taken from Martin Luther King, Jr. -- “Letter from Birmingham Jail”
Emotional Appeals- (pathos)
Emotional appeals reach the reader by activating the reader’s emotions. Often writers make emotional appeals by including sensory
details, especially imagery. Calling upon the reader’s pleasant memories, nostalgia, anger, or fear are frequent emotional appeals
found in argumentative texts. The presence of “charged words” (references to religious doctrine or patriotic ideas) in an
argumentative text represents an attempt at an emotional appeal by the writer.
 Include language that involves the senses and heightens emotional responses
 Reference bias or prejudice
 Include a personal anecdote
 Appeal to the audience’s physical, psychological, or social needs
 Create figurative language
 Experiment with informal language
Example:
Put it this way: Let’s say your little Justin’s Kickin’ Kangaroos have a big youth soccer tournament on Saturday. There are
15 kids on the soccer team, 10 teams in the tourney. And there are 20 of these tournaments going on all over town.
Suddenly, every one of these kids gets chills and fever, then starts throwing up and then gets short of breath. And in 10 days,
they’re all dead of malaria.
Taken from Rick Reilly’s “Nothing But Nets”
16
Writing a Rhetorical Précis
Rhetorical Précis Definition (from the work of Margaret Woodworth): a type of condensed statement of a text’s main point (the
summary part), followed by brief statements about the text’s rhetorical elements: the author’s purpose, methods, and intended
audience (the analysis part).
Rhetorical Précis Form:
 Sentence 1: name of author, genre, and title of work, date in parenthesis; a rhetorically accurate verb (such as “claims,”
“argues,” “asserts,” “suggests”); and a THAT clause containing the major assertion or thesis statement in the work

Sentence 2: an explanation of HOW the author develops and supports the thesis, usually in chronological order

Sentence 3: a statement of the author’s apparent PURPOSE, followed by an “in order to” phrase

Sentence 4: a description of the intended audience and/or the relationship the author establishes with the audience
Example (from text at: http://oregonstate.edu) – an essay:
Charles S. Peirce, in his article “The Fixation of Belief” (1877), asserts that humans have psychological and social
mechanisms designed to protect and cement (or "fix") our beliefs. Peirce supports this claim with descriptions of four methods of
fixing belief, pointing out the effectiveness and potential weaknesses of each method. Peirce's purpose is to point out the ways that
people commonly establish their belief systems in order to jolt the awareness of the readers into considering how their own belief
systems may be the product of such methods and to consider what Peirce calls "the method of science" as a progressive alternative to
the other three. Given the technical language used in the article, Peirce is writing to a well-educated audience with some knowledge
of philosophy and history and a willingness toward other ways of thinking.
Example (from resources provided by Gretchen Polnac) – a play:
Oscar Wilde, in his three-act play The Importance of Being Earnest, argues that gender relationships are based more on
perceived sincerity than on honesty. Wilde develops this argument through the pairing of several characters within the play, such as
Jack Worthing with Gwendolen Fairfax, and the Reverend Chasuble with Miss Prism, characters who are sincere in their love for
each other but deceptive in demonstrating that love. Wilde’s purpose is to reveal inconsistencies between these characters’ feelings
of love and their actions toward one another in order to offend the reader with the hypocrisies of conventional Victorian views about
courting and marriage. Wilde seems to have a younger, emerging middle-class post-Victorian audience in mind because he employs
a witty, humorously satirical tone.
Starter Template:
In _____________________’s essay (novel, poem, article, painting, short story, etc.) ___________________ (year of
author
title
publication), he/she _______________ that ______________________________________________________. The author first
verb
main idea / thesis statement
________________ by/with ____________________________________________________; he/she then ________________
verb phrase
method(s)
verb phrase
by/with __________________________________________________; and to conclude he/she ________________ by/with
method(s)
verb phrase
__________________________________________________. His/her purpose is to __________________________ in order to
method(s)
__________________________________________________. He/She seems to have a _________________ audience in mind
because _______________________________________________________________________________________________.
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Personal Record Chart
Pre-AP English II Language Timed Writings and Compositions
Timed Writing
Type
Score
Word
Count
Notes
Example
Rhet.
5
415
Need to write more meaningful commentary after
9/7/16
Analysis
the examples. Work on fluency and weaving
Lord of the
quotes. Review GO GREEN Pages examples. Avoid
Flies
“generic” words. Rubric qualities: “some analysis,
mostly paraphrase” “lapses in diction”
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