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Communication What is Communication? Communication involves the sending of information, ideas, or feelings from one person to another. Done through language, which may be written or spoken Involves: writing, reading, listening, and speaking. Communication: A Two Way Street • In order to communicate, there must be both a “sender” and a “receiver” • • Therefore, LISTENING is a vital part of communication Listening is said to be the weakest link in the communication process Types of Communication: Non-verbal-body language: Different cultures perceive differently. Facial Expressions Ex. Handshake, eye contact Ex. Eye contact, frowning, smiling, boredom. Gestures Body motions Ex. Sitting, standing, arms crossed Types of Communication: Verbal- using words through speaking or writing I statements - speak from your point of view. Say how you feel, what you think, rather then criticizing. Positive way to deal with conflict. Non attacking Tone - be careful how you say your words. Ways to say “I” statements: “I feel…..” Name an emotion- ex. fear or anger “when you….” you say what behaviors bothers you. “because ….” here you explain why it bothers you. I feel scared when you pop out from around the corner because it makes me scream like girl! Write down your own example of an “I” statement Benefits of “I” statements Reduces defensiveness Maintains self-esteem Helps prevent serious conflict Checks anger Doesn’t blame others Types of “I” Statements 1. Descriptive- things you have seen or heard. Ex. “I heard the alarm.” 2. Thought- use I think or I wonder. Ex. “I wonder if it will rain today.” 3. Feeling- let others know how you feel. Ex. “I feel discouraged because I failed the test.” 4. Intention- let others know what you want to do. Ex. “I want to pass this course.” 5. Action- let others know what you will do. Ex. “I studied two hours last night.” Avoid “You” Statements They attack the receivers self- esteem. Ex. “You should apologize to me.” Instead say “I think you should apologize to me.” Receiving Messages = Listening Passive listening- people just take in messages. No response. Active listening- questioning and nodding. Benefits: Helps you grow Helps you learn about the world around you Helps relationships grow Causes of Poor Listening Distractions: something that diverts your attention Pre-judging: listeners trying to outguess the speaker Over-stimulation: listeners become too eager to respond to the speaker that they quit listening and begin planning their own response Partial listening: Fragmented listening: the listener only listens for certain things (i.e. those that apply to him/her) Pretend listening: when the listener either doesn’t care what the speaker is saying or is just waiting for a turn. Guidelines for Good Listening Have a questioning attitude. Concentrate on what is being said. Eliminate distractions by turning off noisy machines, closing doors, moving closer to the speaker, etc. Use your eyes as well as your ears and mind. Observe the facial expressions and body language of the speaker. These are often as important as what is being said. Listen between the lines for what the speaker doesn’t say. Get all the facts before evaluating or responding to them. Write down important things before you forget them. Ask questions if you do not understand something. How to improve communication Be open to communication Be open minded Send the “I” message Send clear messages Feedback- lets the listener know you are listening. Can be verbal or non-verbal. Ex. comments or asking questions