Download Chapter 20

Chapter 20
Defining Responsibility in
a Changing World
Quote for the day
Women need a reason to have sex;
men just need a place.
- When Harry Met Sally
Recognize:
• An an individual, you are responsible for the
consequences of the choices you make in order to
satisfy your needs.
• As you explore your sexuality you must negotiate
a path through society’s contradictory messages
about sex.
• With sexuality comes a tremendous responsibility
for making choices that fit your needs, the needs
of others around you, and the needs of society.
Values
• Morals
– Our concept of what is right or wrong
– The idea that happiness is the goal of moral
principles is well rooted in science and religion
– We often face contradictory moral claims
• “An eye for an eye”
• Turn the other cheek”
Values
• Value Orientation
– A rational and sensible approach to decision
making that will maximize one’s potential to
thrive.
– Determined by your life experiences.
– Basic value orientation is acquired early in life.
– Most of us get our values from the previous
generation.
– Value orientation is subject to reinforcement.
Values
•
Sexual values are embedded within other
values
1. Human Nature
•
Do you believe people are basically evil? Good?
Mixture of the two?
2. Nature and the Use of Technology
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Subjugation to nature?
Living in harmony with nature?
Mastery over nature?
Values
•
Sexual values are embedded within other
values
3. Time
•
Future, present, or past dominant?
4. Human Activity
•
Being, being-in-becoming, or doing orientation?
5. Human Relationships
•
Family, group or individual orientation?
Norms for the Sexual Attitudes
and Values Scale
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Sexual Ethics
• Ethics
– A set of moral principles for determining
behavior
– You participate in ethical decision making
everyday
– How cognitively aware are you of those
decisions?
– Reflection is central to deciding a right course
of behavior.
Sexual Ethics
• The Role of Authority in Ethical Decision
Making
– Authoritarian approach assumes that when
we make choices about what to do we can rely
on a normative standard derived from an
authority higher than the individual.
– There is a single right behavior.
The Ten Commandments
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Sexual Ethics
• The Role of Authority in Ethical Decision
Making
– Situational approach assumes no such outside
authority; while they may take into account
tradition wisdom collected over generations, the
responsibility for making ethically sound
decisions rests squarely with the individual.
– Uncertainty is an essential ingredient.
The Role of Authority in
Decision Making
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Ethics and Sexual Values
• The Ethical Permissibility of Sex Acts
– Procreationist assumes procreation is the
primary function of sexuality and that human
reproduction is the primary basis for ethical
sexuality.
– Recreationist assumes that anything that gives
a person pleasure is inherently good.
– Naturalist assumes that procreations, pleasure,
love, and intimacy are all valid reasons for
engaging in sex.
The Ethical Permissibility of
Different Sex Acts
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Ethics and Sexual Values
• Belliotti’s Five Tiers of Sexual Morality
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Sexual Decision Making
• Male/Female Differences in Decision
Making
–
–
–
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Feminist Theory
Social Learning Theory
Evolutionary Theory
Error management Theory
• Men tend to overestimate women’s sexual intent
• Women tend to underestimate men’s sexual intent
• Women’s sexual behavior is more often contrary to
their general values and attitudes than is men’s.
Sexual Decision Making
• How to Make Good Decisions
– It Can’t Happen to Me
• Illusion of unique invulnerability
– Alcohol and Sexual Choices
• Removes the inhibitions that prevented you from
acting on your existing desires
• Reduces people’s self-awareness
• Leads to alcohol myopia
– Loss of Self-Control
• Ability to monitor your behavior
• Impacted by alcohol, arousal, being tired, stress
Sexual Decision Making
• Choosing the Wrong Mate
– In modern society, most people marry for love
– Deciding to get married during the state of
passionate love is not unlike making a binding
career decision or financial investment while
seriously intoxicated. It impairs decision:
• Being wildly in love makes people see their partner
in an idealized, unrealistic manner
• Passionate love may change your partner
• Some people marry in order to preserve the feeling.
Sexual Decision Making
• Choosing the Wrong Mate
– Ending a Relationship
• Passionate love makes it hard to decide against
continuing a relationship.
– Self-Esteem, Narcissism, and Depression
• Some people believe that loving yourself is a first
step toward being able to love others
• A milder form of self-love is self-acceptance
– Guilt and Shame
• Shame is destructive; Guilt is constructive
Sexual Decision Making
• Choosing the Wrong Mate
– I Love You Just the Way You Are
• Popular theme: Flawed man is transformed into a better
person through the love of a good woman.
– Testosterone and Commitment
• High levels of testosterone are likely to make men both
an appealing, exciting, sexy partner and a poor prospect
for a long-term mate
– Weighing Good versus Bad
• Bad is stronger than good
• The amount of love and affection is less relevant than
the amount of conflict, negativity, and bad feelings.
What’s Right For You?
• Is sex for fun, or does it have a special meaning
beyond pleasure and physical gratification?
• Is sex a way of saying “I like and enjoy being with
you” or a commitment to future involvement?
• Does sex mean “I love you and want to be with
you right now” or “I want to be with you forever”?
• Is sex a sacred act that means lifelong
commitment, regardless of the difficulties that
arise?