Download sexual and relationship scripts

Dr. Marlene Wasserman
Creating a Sensual Lifestyle
www.dreve.co.za
Creating a Sensual Lifestyle
www.dreve.co.za

Sexual Health Centre

Suite 504, The Equinox

154 Main Road, Sea Point

Tel: 021 439 4004
YOUNG WOMEN’S LEADERSHIP
PROJECT ON SEXUAL AND
REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH RIGHTS
AFRICAN GENDER INSTITUTE
UNIVERSITY OF CAPE TOWN
Creating a Sensual Lifestyle
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SEXUAL GROWTH GROUP
TREATMENT CONTRACT FOR GROUP MEMBERS
1. Members are expected to attend every session.
2. Group discussions are confidential. No one Member is to use any identifying
information about another group Member outside of the group.
3. The group is for personal sharing.
4. All ideas are valid and differences are acceptable.
5. Sharing in the group is encouraged. This way Members will contribute
suggestions and solutions to each other’s problems.
6. Try to stay in the “here and how”.
7. Please try to share your personal feelings and not make vague statements. You
may find that sharing your feelings will give permission for others to share their
feelings.
8. Please try to use “I” statements.
9. Members are required to work on assigned tasks between group meetings.
10. Members will participate actively in role-playing and other educational
experiential exercises.
11.
Touching of members is not allowed. If you wish to comfort, hug,
embrace a member, permission must be requested and
received.
DATE
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SIGNATURE
CONFIDENTIALITY
RESPECT
NON JUDGEMENTAL
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BRIEF SEXUAL ATTITUDES SCALE
Listed below are several statements that reflect different attitudes about sex. For each statement fill in the response on the answer
sheet that indicates how much you agree or disagree with that statement. Some of the items refer to a specific sexual relationship,
while others refer to general attitudes and beliefs about sex. Whenever possible, answer the questions with your current partner in
mind. If you are not currently dating anyone, answer the questions with your most recent partner in mind. If you have never had a
sexual relationship, answer in terms of what you think your responses would most likely be.
For each statement:
A = Strongly agree with statement
B = Moderately agree with the statement
C = Neutral - neither agree nor disagree
D = Moderately disagree with the statement
E = Strongly disagree with the statement
1.
I do not need to be committed to a person to have sex with him/her.
2.
Casual sex is acceptable.
3.
I would like to have sex with many partners.
4.
One-night stands are sometimes very enjoyable.
5.
It is okay to have ongoing sexual relationships with more than one person at a
time.
Creating a Sensual Lifestyle
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6.
Sex as a simple exchange of favors is okay if both people agree to it.
7.
The best sex is with no strings attached.
8.
Life would have fewer problems if people could have sex more freely.
9.
It is possible to enjoy sex with a person and not like that person very much.
10.
It is okay for sex to be just good physical release.
11.
Birth control is part of responsible sexuality.
12.
A woman should share responsibility for birth control.
13.
A man should share responsibility for birth control.
14.
Sex is the closest form of communication between two people.
15.
A sexual encounter between two people deeply in love is the ultimate human
interaction.
16.
At its best, sex seems to be the merging of two souls.
17.
Sex is a very important part of life.
18.
Sex is usually an intensive, almost overwhelming experience.
19.
Sex is best when you let yourself go and focus on your own pleasure.
20.
Sex is primarily the taking of pleasure from another person.
Creating a Sensual Lifestyle
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21.
The main purpose of sex is to enjoy oneself.
22.
Sex is primarily physical.
23.
Sex is primarily a bodily function, like eating.
________________________________________________________________________
Note. The BSAS includes the instructions shown at the top. The items are given in the
order shown. The BSAS is usually part of a battery with items numbered consecutively. For purposes of
analyses, we have A=1 and E=5. (The scoring may be reversed, so that A = strongly disagree, etc.) A participant
receives four subscale scores, based on the mean score for a particular subscale (i.e., we add up the 10 items on
Permissiveness and divide by 10). An overall scale score is really not useful.
Items
Scoring Key
1-10 Permissiveness
13. Birth Control
18. Communion
23. Instrumentality
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EXPECTATIONS OF WORKSHOP
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THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME UNIQUE…
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SEX, GENDER, SEXUALITY, SEXUAL
HEALTH AND SEXUAL RIGHTS
SEX
Sex refers to the biological characteristics that define humans as female or
male. While these sets of biological characteristics are not mutually exclusive,
as there are individuals who possess both, they tend to differentiate humans as
males and females. In general use in many languages, the term sex is often
used to mean “sexual activity”, but for technical purposes in the context of
sexuality and sexual health discussions, the above definition is preferred.
Creating a Sensual Lifestyle
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SEX, GENDER, SEXUALITY, SEXUAL
HEALTH AND SEXUAL RIGHTS
SEX HEALTH
According to the current working definition, sexual health is:
“…a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to
sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity.
Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and
sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe
sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual
health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be
respected, protected and fulfilled.”
(WHO, 2006a)
Creating a Sensual Lifestyle
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SEX, GENDER, SEXUALITY, SEXUAL
HEALTH AND SEXUAL RIGHTS
SEXUALITY
Sexual health cannot be defined, understood or made operational without a
broad consideration of sexuality, which underlies important behaviors and
outcomes related to sexual health. The working definition of sexuality is:
“…a central aspect of being human throughout life encompasses sex, gender
identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and
reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies,
desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviors, practices, roles and relationships.
While sexuality can include all of these dimensions, not all of them are always
experienced or expressed. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction of
biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, legal, historical,
religious and spiritual factors.”
(WHO, 2006a)
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WAS DECLARATION OF SEXUAL
RIGHTS
In recognition that sexual rights are essential for the achievement of the highest attainable standard of sexual health, the World
Association for Sexual Health:
STATES that sexual rights are grounded in universal human rights that are already recognized in international and regional human rights
documents, in national constitutions and laws, human rights standards and principles, and in scientific knowledge related to human sexuality
and sexual health.
REAFFIRMS that sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout life and encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual
orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy, and reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs,
attitudes, values, behaviours, practices, roles, and relationships. While sexuality can include all of these dimensions, not all of them are always
experienced or expressed. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, legal,
historical, religious, and spiritual factors. RECOGNIZES that sexuality is a source of pleasure and wellbeing and contributes to overall
fulfillment and satisfaction.
REAFFIRMS that sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social wellbeing in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the
absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as
well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.
REAFFIRMS that sexual health cannot be defined, understood or made operational without a broad understanding of sexuality.
REAFFIRMS that for sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.
RECOGNIZES that sexual rights are based on the inherent freedom, dignity, and equality of all human beings and include a commitment to
protection from harm.
STATES that equality and non-discrimination are foundational to all human rights protection and promotion and include the prohibition of any
distinction, exclusion or restriction on the basis of race, ethnicity, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social
origin, property, birth or other status, including disability, age, nationality, marital and family status, sexual orientation and gender identity,
health status, place of residence, economic and social situation.
RECOGNIZES that persons’ sexual orientations, gender identities, gender expressions and bodily diversities require human rights protection.
RECOGNIZES that all types of violence, harassment, discrimination, exclusion, and stigmatization are violations of human rights, and impact
the wellbeing of individuals, families and communities.
AFFIRMS that the obligations to respect, protect and fulfill human rights apply to all sexual rights and freedoms.
AFFIRMS that sexual rights protect all people's rights to fulfill and express their sexuality and enjoy sexual health, with due
regard for the rights of others.
Creating a Sensual Lifestyle
www.dreve.co.za
WAS DECLARATION OF SEXUAL
RIGHTS
Sexual rights are human rights pertaining to sexuality:
1. The right to life, liberty, and security of the person.
2. The right to equality and non-discrimination.
3. The right to autonomy and bodily integrity.
4. The right to be free from torture and cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment or punishment.
5. The right to be free from all forms of violence and coercion.
6. The right to the freedom of thought, opinion, and expression.
7. The right to privacy.
8. The right to the highest attainable standard of health, including sexual health; which implies the possibility of having pleasurable,
satisfying, and safe sexual experiences.
9. The right to enjoy the benefits of scientific progress and its application.
10. The right to information.
11. The right to education and the right to comprehensive sexuality education.
12. The right to enter, form, and dissolve marriage and other types of relationships
based on equality and full and free consent.
13. The right to decide whether to have children, the number and spacing of children, and to have the information and the means to do so.
14. The right to access to justice, remedies, and redress.
15. The right to freedom of association and peaceful assembly.
16. The right to participation in public and political life.
Creating a Sensual Lifestyle
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SEXUAL AND RELATIONSHIP SCRIPTS:
WHOSE RULE IS THIS?
GET INTO FOCUS GROUPS OF 5
THERE ARE THE MESSAGE I RECEIVED FROM:
RELIGION
CULTURE
FAMILY
PEERS
EDUCATORS
MEDIA
MY OWN EXPERIENCES
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SEXUAL AND RELATIONSHIP SCRIPTS:
WHOSE RULE IS THIS?
Creating a Sensual Lifestyle
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GENDER SCRIPTS:
WHOSE RULE IS THIS?
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SEXUAL ORIENTATION / FLUIDITY
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THIS IS MY BODY
TURN TO PERSON YOU DO NOT KNOW AND DISCUSS YOUR BODY
1. THIS PLEASES ME …
2. THIS DISPLEASES ME…
3. THIS INHIBITS ME SEXUALLY
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THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES
IF YOUR VAGINA COULD SPEAK, WHAT WOULD IT SAY?
IF YOUR VAGINA GOT DRESSED UP, WHAT WOULD IT WEAR?
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THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES
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HIV/AIDS/STI’s
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CONDOM NEGATIVES AND POSITIVES
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LET’S NEGOTIATE CONDOM USE
1. FIND A PERSON YOU KNOW LEAST WELL
2. HALF THE ROOM ,NEGOTIATE USING A CONDOM
WITH NEW PERSON
3. HALF THE ROOM, NEGOTIATE USING A CONDOM
WITH A REGULAR PARTNER
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CONTRACEPTIVE CHOICES
CONTRACEPTIVE POSITIVES AND NEGATIVES
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DRUGS, SEX & ROCK ‘N ROLL
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COMPLETE THE SENTENCE:
“THE IMPACT OF ALCOHOL AND DRUGS
ON MY SEXUALITY ARE…”
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IS THIS LOVE OR LUST?
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DEFINITION OF HEALTHY AND
UNHEALTHY LOVE…
CONUNDRUM OF HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY LOVE
1. He says “I love you” after the first few dates
2. He says he ‘ll call you back and does – a few days later
3. He sexts your best friend
4. He refuses to wear a condom
5. She refuses o use a sex toy with you even though she knows
you enjoy this
6. He watches porn even though you feel uncomfortable with it
7. You are both volatile, he pushes you around .. a little..
8. He’s jealous and possessive. It feels great .. you feel well loved
9. Has rough sex with you
10. Insists on certain kinds of sexual activity
11. Gets angry when you refuse and forces you anyway
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IS THIS LOVE OR LUST?
COMMITMENT
MONOGAMY
FIDELITY
1. FRIENDLSHIP
2. PASSION
3. COMMITMENT
4. HONESTY/TRUST/RESPECT
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SOCIAL MEDIA
GET INTO FOCUS GROUPS OF 4 PEOPLE
DISCUSS HOW SOCIAL MEDIA HAS POTENTIAL TO BE
BENEFICIAL AND HARMFUL TO YOUNG PEOPLE’S SEXUALITY
AND RELATIONSHIPS.
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THANK YOU FOR YOUR
ATTENTION
Creating a Sensual Lifestyle
www.dreve.co.za