Download Breaking Non Verbal Communication Norms

Aletta Arndt
Interpersonal Communication
Sarah Allen
Breaking Non Verbal Communication Norms
Nonverbal communication plays a huge role in our communication, starting as far back as
the history of time. Imagine how many eye rolls, and sighs Adam gave Ever after she ate that
stupid apple?? Whether you are religious or not, nonverbal are a part of everyone’s
communication skills. So today we will define nonverbal communication, explain my breaking
nonverbal norms experiment, and the reactions I got from this experiment, and a conclusion.
Because as if I wasn’t an already awkward person, interpersonal communication makes me push
the level of awkwardness!
Non Verbal Communication
Non Verbal Communication can be defined as “Behavior other than written or spoken
that creates meaning for someone” (Beebe, 2010, p.188). There are four dimensions, kinesics,
paralanguage, proxemics and haptics. Nonverbal communication ranges from the eyebrow raise
we give someone when our bullshit meter goes off, the lack of personal space you give someone
you’re seeing; or the hand gestures you use trying to describe something to a friend, so today we
will give an in-depth look to all four of these categories of nonverbal communication.
According to Seattle central education Paralanguage is “concerned with how words are
spoken, i.e. the volume, the intonation, the speed etc.” It’s how we speak to people, the tone we
give other people in conversation. An example of why this is important is it helps reading if
someone is hesitant. If you ask your significant other how they are doing, and they pause and flat
Aletta Arndt
Interpersonal Communication
Sarah Allen
line say “I’m fine.” We all know you’re in for some trouble, but if it’s an energetic “Oh, I’m
fine!” You should be sitting pretty well.
Proxemics is the space you use when communicating with someone, in America we are
very use to our own personal space even in rather crowded places like public transportation, but
in other countries such as Asia invading one’s personal space (1.5 feet) is totally normal. First
brought up as an actual concept of nonverbal communication in 1963, by anthropologist Edward
T. Hall who used the term in hopes to explain architecture and how close they should stand to
one another, but it transitioned over better with straight human interactions.
Kinesics is how our body language, such as gestures and stance we hold when we have
conversations. Kinesics is important to nonverbal communication because it shows us a different
look at things such as gender within our culture. In most countries women body stances are
usually hunched over, trying not to take up space, and consist of some self-touch. Whereas men
usually stand with legs spread, the supposed “power stance” to establish their dominance.
Haptics refers to the touch we use in communication. This is a huge player in
communication considering how often we push for good haptic communication in the
professional world. There are classes given at the college level on professional communication
and taught how to give the correct type of handshake, strong but not too strong.
Three dimensions of breaking
Aletta Arndt
Interpersonal Communication
Sarah Allen
The three dimensions I decided to break were haptics, kinesics and paralanguage. Most
people would think a college student trying to hold your hand on campus is probably on drugs.
This was not the case in my situation. I broke haptics norms by walking up to random strangers
on campus and trying to hold their hand and give them a nod with a smile if they held on. This is
breaking the haptics nonverbal communication because we view hand holding as a more
romantic thing in US culture. Normal haptics communication is in the professional setting a
strong handshake, but in general (on campus) the haptic communication is slim to none. We hug
people when we know them and haven’t seen them in a while, men usually give one another
some sort of hand shake ranging from high fives to intricate handshakes. When we see two
people holding hands we assume they are either in a relationship or family members (mom
holding daughters hand across the street.) So by going up to five people and trying to hold their
hand the reaction was confusion and borderline disgust. I think this norm of U.S culture to just
have significant others hold hands is because of proxemics, and how people in the U.S that
invade our personal space are usually our significant or others we are giving consent to breaking
those boundaries. This exercise probably made me feel the most uncomfortable just due to the
fact that I view hand holding as a somewhat sacred thing, which is probably weird.
Another dimension I broke was kinesics, while this might break some of the rules this
paper has I stood in the male power pose when talking to classmates. When presenting for my
performance studies class I stood with legs spread, arms crossed, and very strong hand gestures.
While I didn’t get many reactions my professor did notice and asked if I was aware how I was
coming off to the audience. This was not that hard to do for a small amount of time but I don’t
think I could’ve actually held that pose throughout the day. I think this is due to the social
Aletta Arndt
Interpersonal Communication
Sarah Allen
construct of gender, we have been taught as women to try to take up the least amount of states.
Whether from our mothers telling us to keep our legs crossed at church, or have images of
“sexy” women hunched over, delicately posing.
The third dimension I broke was proxemics. Usually in the U.S we try not to invade that
1.5 feet personal space boundary, while in other countries it is deemed totally normal to stand
next to someone in that 1.5 feet circle. As someone who has been told constantly I need to back
away and recognize personal space this was not hard. On the weekends I go out and compete for
the forensics team on campus. Every weekend we travel to different college campus and compete
in rounds. In between rounds I usually socialize with people from other teams or my team mates.
This past weekend I walked to one of my rounds with someone in step with them and breaking
that personal boundary circle. While this wasn’t at all weird for me, the person I was holding
conversation with looked uncomfortable walking faster, then slower, and backing away. I’m not
exactly sure why we as the U.S hold such high value on personal space and others do not, but it’s
how I grew up. I grew up having a very timid voice and having to get into people’s personal
space for them to understand what I was saying, and now I guess you can say I’m just needy and
like being close to people.
Conclusion
So today we have discussed the four dimensions of nonverbal communication, my
experiment of breaking those dimensions and why the chosen activity was seen as breaking a
Aletta Arndt
Interpersonal Communication
Sarah Allen
norm. While I might have made myself, and others feel awkward these experiments were very
interesting and have changed how I view nonverbal communication.