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Chapter 4 – Preparing Spoken and Written Messages Chapter 4 Objectives: Apply techniques for developing effective sentences and unified and coherent paragraphs. Identify factors affecting readability and revise messages to improve readability. Prepare visually appealing documents that grab the receiver's attention and increase comprehension. Revise and proofread a message for content, organization, and style; mechanics; and format and layout. -Crafting Powerful Communication The words we choose can undermine our effectiveness to express ideas clearly and to build interpersonal relationships and credibility. The following principles affect the clarity and overall impact of a message: (a) choosing descriptive modifiers, (b) avoiding camouflaged verbs, (c) recasting expletive beginnings, (d) avoiding misplaced elements, and (e) expressing ideas in parallel form. Choose Descriptive Modifiers Compared with nouns and verbs, adjectives play a less significant role in a sentence and present fewer problems in usage. However, adjectives and adverbs can arouse skepticism or resentment if they are used without care. Overly Strong Adjectives and Adverbs. One common problem is the use of adjectives that are too strong or used too frequently: Adjective Adverb Sales have been fantastic. Our forecasts have been fantastically accurate. Mr. Blakeney presented a ridiculous plan. Our prices are ridiculously low. Use of such adjectives and adverbs can cause a receiver to wonder about a sender’s objectivity. A person who wants to report a highly satisfactory sales program should avoid “fantastic” and, instead, give details. Even though a plan may be worthy of ridicule, a person who comments on it is better off to point out areas needing improvement. By labeling a plan “ridiculous,” a communicator might risk being considered biased or overly negative. Superlatives Messages are sometimes influenced negatively by another form of adjective or adverb — the superlative. The superlative is the form of the adjective or adverb that compares the thing modified with two or more other things. Note the following superlatives: Adjective Adverb This Internet provider is the best one on the market. Yuan runs fastest. The factory has the worst odor imaginable. This item sells best. Superlatives are very useful words. Frequently, the extreme unit in a series needs to be identified — the highest or lowest score, the latest news, the most qualified applicant. When superlatives are totally unsupported or unsupportable, however, their use is questionable. Furnishing proof that no other Internet provider is up to the standards of this one would be extremely difficult. Proving that one odor is the worst imaginable is practically impossible. Knowing that such statements are exaggerations, the receiver may not believe them at all. In fact, someone who has used a superlative to transmit an unbelievable idea may not be believed when offering support for a believable idea. For the sake of credibility, use only supported or supportable superlatives. Avoid Camouflaged Verbs A camouflaged verb is a verb that has been needlessly transformed into a noun. Words with endings such as -ion, -tion, -ing, -ment, -ant, -ent, -ence, -ance, and -ency often change verbs into nouns. Camouflaged verbs increase the sentence length and slow comprehension because they are abstract and thus difficult for the receiver to envision. Notice how vivid, clear, and efficient the sentences in the right column are compared to the ones in the left column. Camouflaged Verb Strong Verbs Confirmation of the date will be received The president will confirm the date. from the president. Cancellation of the flight to Los Angeles The flight to Los Angeles was necessary because of icing was canceled because of icing conditions. conditions. The management team has been directed to identify a plan to create a reduction in shipping costs by 20 percent. The management team has been directed to identify a plan to reduce shipping costs by 20 percent. Recast Expletive Beginnings By definition, an expletive is a meaningless word. Expletive beginnings are not considered grammatical errors but are seldom advisable. Usually any sentence that begins with there is, there are, or it is can be improved. Original Improved There is a major problem with next year's budget. Next year's budget has a major problem. There are many complicated provisions within the new tax law. The new tax law has many complicated provisions. It is encouraging to note that sales have increased this month. This month's increased sales are encouraging. Although each of the original sentences does have a subject ("there" or "it") that precedes the verb ("is" or "are"), the subject is vague. Only after having read the entire sentence do you become aware of what "it" or "there" means. The revisions use fewer words in the more conventional subject-verb-complement pattern. Certain situations may, however, justify the use of an expletive beginning. 1. The sender may not want to reveal the source of the information. Consider the following sentence: It has been brought to my attention that backups are not being made of all computer files. In this instance, the sender chooses a grammatical arrangement that will not make the doer obvious. 2. "It" can serve as a first word when the antecedent is in a preceding sentence. An antecedent is a noun or pronoun to which another pronoun (it) refers. In the following sentence, "it" refers to "document"-its antecedent. Mr. Jamison indicated needed corrections in the document. It is being revised....Used in this manner, the pronoun "it" can serve well as a coherence technique to link ideas. Eliminate Misplaced Elements Placing words, phrases, or clauses in the wrong position can confuse the receiver, as you can see in the following example: We have taken the check to the bank, which was unsigned. The sentence is confusing (or amusing) because it seems to imply that the bank was unsigned. That impression is given because the "which" clause is placed closer to "bank" than to "check." Similarly, the following sentences have very different meanings: Confusing Clear The three-year budgets are being returned to the committee, which have some serious defects. (Does the committee have serious defects?) The three-year budgets, which have some serious defects, are being returned to the committee. Michele displayed the financial ratios to upperlevel managers on the screen. (Are the managers displayed on the screen?) Michele explained to upper-level managers the financial ratios displayed on the screen. Eliminate Dangling Modifiers A particular type of misplaced element is the dangling modifier. The term is applied to incoherent verbal phrases and elliptical clauses. Consider this example: After completing a preliminary interview, an employment test was given to each applicant. The sentence begins with a modifying verbal phrase that precedes the independent (main) clause in the sentence. The subject of the main clause ("employment test") is presumed to be the doer of the action described by the modifier ("completing an interview"). Saying that an employment test completed an interview is certainly not the intended meaning. Likely the sender's intended message is conveyed in one of the following: After completing a preliminary interview, each applicant completed an employment test. After each applicant completed a preliminary interview, Human Resources administered an employment test. Sentences with dangling modifiers can be corrected in two ways: 1. Change the subject of the independent (main) clause to a word the modifier properly defines or describes. 2. Recast the misplaced or dangling modifier as a dependent clause. With either arrangement, the intended meaning is much easier to understand. Because the subject of each independent clause is placed close to the action described in each modifier, the receiver is certain who are performing the action. Express Ideas in Parallel Form When two or more ideas appear together for a similar purpose, they should have common grammatical construction, which is referred to as parallel construction. For example, the series to "increase production," "expand our market," and "recruit skilled workers," is parallel because all are verbs that complete the infinitive "to." If one of the ideas were presented in a different way grammatically (e.g., recruiting skilled workers), it would appear to be out of place or would be considered unparalleled. The variation in construction weakens the emphasis given to each item in the series, and the inconsistency may also distract the receiver's attention from the message. Note the parallel construction in the following examples: Type Nonparallel Words The components of multimedia The components of multimedia are text, images, sound, and are text, images, sound, and animation. adding animation. Phrases Animation engages the audience, highlights key points, and is used to demonstrate the process. Parallel Animation engages the audience, highlights key points, and demonstrates the progression of a process. Clauses They invested in stocks and They invested in stocks and bonds, bonds, and considered mutual and they considered mutual funds. funds. The principle of parallel construction applies not only to elements in a series that appear in a sentence but also to major units in an outline, to subunits that appear under a major unit, to headings that appear in documents, and to bulleted lists in documents and presentation visuals. If one major heading is a complete sentence, all other major headings should be complete sentences. If one subheading is a question, all other subheadings under that division should be questions. Tips for Using Collaborative Technologies Although they provide valuable support to teams, electronic collaboration tools are not a replacement for personal contact. Face-to-face meetings are the way members really get to know each other—the crucial part of team development. Typically, electronic communication increases and improves after face-to-face 1 team meetings, according to Kirby Hicks of Motorola. A consulting firm that assists Fortune 500 companies develop intranet and groupware technologies, suggests the following guidelines for 2 developing people to work with collaborative technologies: 1. Start people working together and cooperating before you add technology. Build teamwork and a collaborative culture; allow people to know each other, respect and trust each other before you add the tools to assist them. When the tools are added, users can more clearly see that the purpose of the tools is to make the work they are already doing easier to do. 2. Make sure employees feel secure and supported by the organization and believe that the groupware is intended to support their work and is not a ploy to make them work harder. Convince employees that sharing knowledge is good for business. Anticipate and abate insecurities related to loss of autonomy, privacy of one’s schedule, and sole access to and control of information. 3. Prepare people and the organization for the changes groupware will involve. Recognize that even good changes are difficult after employees have become comfortable doing things as they have always done them. Be prepared for changes in the way people will begin to work because of groupware (e.g., will be less willing to attend meetings to receive basic information that could be sent electronically) and lead the organization in adapting to this new communication style. 4. Assess the benefits groupware is providing the organization and make necessary changes. Groupware should provide benefits every day so compelling that employees will want to use it to improve their work life. Sources: 1 Craft, V. (1995, May). Searching for tools to ease collaboration in cross-functional workgroups. Tapping team power. Electronic Business Buyer, 45. 2 Hills, M. (1998). What’s so hard about groupware? Retrieved February 14, 2004, from http://idm.internet.com/features/groupware-1.shtml