Download Peer Editing - Think aloud

Grading
&
Peer editing
ENGLISH 112/ February 27th 2007
dr. erika paterson
Grading
Objectives: Write a summary which demonstrates:
1) your skills with using citation and reporting expressions in order to
attribute, characterize, and position the sources you summarize. 3/5
2) your skills with positioning yourself in relation to the sources you are
citing. 3/5
3) your ability to select and cite details and examples to ‘unpack’
abstractions. 3/5
4) your ability to compose a knowledge deficit. 2.5/5
Your Total: 11.5 /20
Who do you think
you’re talking to?
• Exercise 1: page 118
• What do you do and how do you feel
when you get marked?
• What do you consider typical marking
commentary on essays?
•
Discuss these questions with your group, take
notes.
What is the
connection?
•What are the connections between:
•Your habits and attitudes - and your ideas
of professors’ typical remarks?
•What is the distance between student
writer and marker?
•In what sense do student writers ‘know’
those who mark their work?
Reader’s
reading
HOW DO READERS EXPERIENCE YOUR TEXT?
How does the reader understand, anticipate, and make
sense?
Thinking out
loud
does not come naturally
you have to learn how by doing
You are not a marker/evaluator
YOU ARE A PERSON USING A
DOCUMENT
You make no judgments; you only report
what’s going on in your head as you read.
The Knowledge Deficit of Friendships
Vered Amit-Talai (1993) states that she is “frustrated by [the]
tendency for anthropologists and sociologists to treat the
construction of friendships and peer relations as a footnote to the
problems of socialization” (233) despite research that exemplifies
otherwise. Although the “intensity and importance of adolescent
peer relations has often been observed,” (du Bois 1974: 23;
Larson and Asmussen, 1991; Schegal and Barry 191: 68 cited in
Amit-Talai, 233) Amit-Talai notes that “few studies focus on the
structure of these relations” (233). Janet Giltrow (1992) comments
that the terms “friend and friendship have been poor
conceptualized [and] this knowledge gap has been papered over
with clichés (Introduction, 231). Amit-Talai says that she wishes to
“deconstruct” the assumptions that are commonly attributed to
teenage friendships and peer relationships (Amit-Talai, 1993: 236).
The Knowledge Deficit of Friendships
I am not sure what this title means? Does it mean that friendships are lacking in
knowledge? But, what kind of friendships?
We know that Amit-Talai is talking about adolescents, but another reader would
not.
Vered Amit-Talai (1993) states that she is “frustrated by [the] I am confused, why
did you change the word ‘a’ to ‘the’ ?] tendency for anthropologists and
sociologists to treat the construction of [friendships and] peer relations as a
footnote to the problems of socialization” (233) O.K., I understand that she is
frustrated with an attitude, but I am not sure what the problems of socialization
are and how does this relate to friendship? I am also wondering about peer
relations and friendships, are they being compared? Or, are they being
considered as the same thing? I don’t see how? ] despite research that
exemplifies otherwise Now, I am confused? On the one hand she is complaining
because peer relations are not considered a part of the problems of socialization,
o.k. -- and now she is saying that there is research that exemplifies otherwise does this mean that there is research that shows that peer relations are part of
the problems of socialization?]
Although the “intensity and importance of adolescent, O.K., so now we are
talking about adolescents, are we comparing adolescents to adult peer
relationships now?] peer relations, I guess peer relations and friendship are
interchangable here? has [have] often been observed,” (du Bois 1974: 23;
Larson and Asmussen, 1991; Schegal and Barry 191: 68 cited in AmitTalai, 233) Amit-Talai notes that “few studies focus on the structure of these
relations” wait a second, I can not figure out why she would cite all these
sources that say these relationships are intense and important, and then
say that these studies do not focus on the structure? What does she mean
by structure? (233)
Janet Giltrow (1992) We know that Giltrow wrote the introduction to this
article, but your other readers wont know this] comments that the terms
“friend and friendship (is Giltrow talking about adolescent friendships?
have been poor conceptualized [and] this knowledge gap, is this the same
complaint that Amit-Talai has when she says she is frustrated? has been
papered over with clichés, I am not sure what this means? what has been
papered over? Is someone trying to cover up something? (Introduction,
231).
Amit-Talai says that she wishes to “deconstruct” the assumptions, I
wish I had a better idea of what these assumptions are? that are
commonly attributed to teenage friendships and peer relationships
(Amit-Talai, 1993: 236). O.K. I think I begin to see a connection with the
beginning of the passage, but I will have to go back and read.
Adolescence is associated with a shift in cognitive development, social roles,
institutions, attachments, concerns and stress.
Vered Amit-Talai: 1995, 233
In Vered Amit-Talai's article, The Waltz of Sociability Intimacy, Dislocation,
and Friendship in a Quebec High School, Amit-Talai explores friendships amongst
mainly young girls in Quebec high schools. The question Amit-Talai has in mind is
"what are the cultural implications of the presumption of impermanence and
intensity in youth peer relations?" (234). Amit-Talai surprisingly agrees with other
scholarly applications; such as the research of Paine: 1974, and Bell: 1981, which
examine teenage relationships and deem then as impermanent, however, she
recognizes Goodwin's (1990) observation which draws attention to the lack of
research that actually focus on the relationships themselves, as oppose to the
mere proposed stage of "transition and impermanence" (233).
Guidelines for thinking
out loud
•Readers guidelines
•Read and report moments when you are working
inefficiently -- not understanding.
•DO NOT suggest how to correct, just read and think
aloud as you go along
•report moments when you are working efficiently -understanding, getting new ideas.
•Offer frequent reports on the gist of what you are
reading - comment as you make connections.
Guidelines for writers :
•
•
•
out loud
You do not need to explain or justify your writing - this
will only waste time and distract you.
Listen Carefully
Take notes
Although I agree that these elements will create constraints on the
relationships formed during adolescence, I believe this research
needs to be expanded. Amit-Talai focus on the working-class district
needs to be expanded to cover a larger population. As well, this
research was conducted in 1987/88 and the advances in technology
and communication would challenge the "dislocation of peer
relationships" (p.246). Telephones and written word could be argued
as "old" forms of interaction, where as email and instant messaging
has broken down borders of distance and time. Additionally, AmitTalai has not fully addressed the student perspective of the "lost"
relationships. Perhaps these relationships have ended not because
of a change in environment and school structure, but a change in
self-interest and social desire.
Amit-Talai curiously never defines when she considers the disjunction (termination of the friendship) occurs, it might be worth reconsidering and
defining such period or process to provide or more ample study of friendship among adolescents.Therefore it is evident that more research is required
such as studies should focused on characterizing whether these problems of ‘terminal’ friendships are gender biased. Futhermore, Amit-Talai research
focused on one single middle classed high school with a rather intriguing background (i.e. “ Royal Haven’s had a reputation for “being a school with
more than its fair share of violence, drugs and troublemakers”) it is under these conditions that it is evident that youth peer relation are ‘policed’ and a
instutionalized social control more evident(240). Amit-Talai lacks to further research other highschool and see if these same cultural implications have
the same effect in other sectors. In this period of rapid changes were technology revolutionizes are our every day life, newer methods of
communication are present and I think it would be wise to examine the implication these new tools grant youth peer relations to have further and more
depth understanding of friendship relationships during adolescence.
See you Thursday