Download relationship skill

BY – Mr. Nabajyoti Saud.
Art Teacher
JAWAHAR NAVODAYA VIDYALAYA,
South Garo Hills, Meghalaya

Counseling is a human centered job. In
a school setting a counselor has to deal
with the children. So, professional
qualification alone is not sufficient. A
counselor must be basically interested
in working with human beings. Since
the counselor has to work with human
beings, he can not expect a standard
application or uniform result of their
knowledge. So the counselor should be
able to adjust according to need and
nature of individual case.
COMMUNICATION SKILL

The effective communication is an
urgent need for each and every
individual.
In day-to-day life, we
keep communicating with people
around us.
This give and take
relationship will be successful and
effective, if we know how to convey
our thoughts to others.
In every
communication, there is some loss of
information.
Hence
effective
communication implies the clarity.

A Counselor should have
excellent communication skill
both verbal and non verbal.
He/ she must use language to
the level of counselee, the
language
that
client
can
understand. There should be
fluency
and
the
fluency
provides direction to the
session. The pitch, volume
and the rate of speech should
be cared.
NON-VERBAL




Eye contact – it should be between shifty
eyes and fixed gaze.
Head nods: It indicates that counselor is
listening and attentive. It gives a faith to
the client that counselor is involved and
committed.
Facial Expression: The facial expression
is the mirror for the client. It should
have happy look and smile but not
always.
Distance: An ideal or healthy distance to
be maintained between the counselor
and the counselee.
RELATIONSHIP SKILL

Relationships are vitally important in all
spheres
of
life
and
people
create
relationships for all sorts of reasons. We
create relationships because we are social
by nature. We form relationships because of
our inner urge to be with others and also we
are told by the voices of authority and
tradition. But sustaining a healthy bond in
our relationships depends largely on our
interpersonal relationship skills.

Interpersonal relationship skills help us to
relate in positive ways with our family
members and others around. Relationships
are like bank accounts: the more we
deposit
the
greater
they
become.
Therefore, the more we can draw from
them. However, if you try to draw without
depositing, it leads to disappointment.
Generally
the
poor
interpersonal
relationship with others leads to stress,
lack of communication, suspicion, isolation,
prejudices, conflict, frustration, lack of
sympathy and empathy, poor health etc.
EMPATHY SKILL

The empathy is the ability to imagine
what life is like for another person
even in a situation that we may not
be familiar with. Empathy is the
imaginative transposing of ourselves
to the thinking, feeling and acting of
others.
The
empathy
has
got
significant role in the counselling
process. It is the ability to feel and
describe the thoughts of others. A
counsellor must have empathy for the
client.
EMOTIONAL STABILITY

The Emotional Stability is the ability to
manage emotions and remain calm in
any
decision-making
situation.
Emotion is the effective aspect of
consciousness. Emotion is generally
considered to be a feeling about or
reaction to certain important events
or thoughts. An emotion may be
either pleasant or unpleasant. When
one is emotionally involved in a
situation, he/she will not be in a
position to be objective or think
logically.
COMPETENCIES:


Knowledge: A counselor must have
knowledge of child adolescent, personality
development and the child psychology.
Should also be competent to handle
different situation and the knowledge of
approaches, procedure and techniques of
counseling.
Role Model: In all respect, in his behavior,
habits and knowledge, the counselor is to
be the role model for the counselee.
COMPETENCIES




Sense of Humour: The counselor should
have the strong sense of humour.
Patience: Counselor should have the
patience in any life situations.
Sensitivity: The counselor should have the
strong sensitivity in the process of helping
the client.
Non-judgmental: The counselor in the
process of helping the client to find out
where and when things went wrong and
how to correct the same, should be non
judgmental.
TRUSTWORTHINESS

It means the counselor is reliable and
responsible person. It also means that
counselor is honest, dependable and has
skill to safeguard client’s communication. In
other words, “we should not promise more
than one can do, do exactly as one has
promised”. A counselor should not divulge
the client’s information to others; he should
promise for the strict confidentiality and
should keep it up.
OPENMINDEDNESS:
A counselor should not have fixed
idea. One should be open to all types
of idea and opinion. The openmindedness will:
 a)
Allow
the
counselor
to
accommodate client’s feeling.
 b) Allow the counselor to interact with
different types of clients.

c) Allow the counselor to interact with even
unacceptable by society or criminal minded people.
d) The open mindedness is pre requisite for the
honest communication.
OBJECTIVITY:

It means without having personal
bias and should be rational in
thinking and impersonal without
getting affected by emotions. A
client should not be allowed to play
with sympathy.
The objectivity is important because:

It helps the counselor to avoid
getting caught up in certain client
behaviour,
dysfunctional
communication pattern.

It also safeguards against developing
dysfunctional
emotional
feeling
about the client.

It is extremely important to maintain
objectivity for the client’s sake. The
objectivity provides client a new set
of eyes to look into problem from a
new angle.
RESOURCEFULNESS

The counselor should have the knowledge
and have good contacts with people who
work in different fields. It is necessary to
collect information to guide the client. At
any circumstances a career counselor
should be a resourceful person. The
counselor should have the list of experts,
institutions in the field of health, law,
banking, social service, training centers etc.
The counselor may feel to refer the client to
those agencies when the need arises.
PERSONALITY NECESSARY


Several studies have been made to
determine the personality characteristics of
counselor for effective counseling. The
following personality characteristics are
suggested by different scholars for an
effective counselor.
Interested in helping: Since a counselor is
to deal with human behaviour, he should be
interested in helping others. This attitude
helps the client to feel comfortable.


Perceptual sensitivity: The counselor
should perceive and understand the
thoughts and feelings of the client
and should be sensitive to the clues
given by the client.
Personal Adjustment: The counselor,
like any other normal person may
have
adjustment
problems.
Counselor should try to adjust with
these
problems
in
constructive
manner and should not try to solve
problem, when he himself is facing
difficulties.


Personal Security: Felling of personal
security is an important. A counselor
may feel secure in counseling
situation on the role of counselor but
may feel insecure in other certain
areas outside counseling.
Genuineness: The counselor should
establish a genuine relationship with
his client by which he can achieve
his
goal.
Carl
Roger
rightly
suggested that the counselor should
be a real person to his client.
COUNSELLORS ATTITUDE


The
nature
of
the
counseling
relationship depends largely on the
attitude of counselor on the client.
BELIEF: A counselor must believe
that a client must be treated with
dignity, equality and individuality, in
the value and worth of the counselee.
The client should have faith on
counselor about the ability to deal
effectively with his or her problem.


VALUES: A counselor must follow social
and moral values. He should be fully aware
of his values because the changing of
values is the important goal of counseling.
Humanness is the most important value
that a counselor should have.
ACCEPTANCE: The acceptance implies
respect and liking for the client. It also
implies the regards for the feeling.
Acceptance means helping an individual.
Counselor should also accept himself only
then he can accept his client.





UNDERSTANDING: It means the ability
to grasp clearly and completely the
meaning that
the client is trying to
convey. The counselor should be able to
participate completely in the clients
communication. The understanding has
four levels.
Knowledge about another individual, his
behaviour, personality and interest.
A verbal and behavioural understanding
Knowledge of individuals internal world,
his fear, love and anxieties.
Self understanding.
The counsellor word
C – Caring, Committed.
O – Open Minded.
U – Understandable.
N – Neutral or Objective.
S – Systematic or Service oriented.
E – Empathetic, Expect no Reward.
L – Listens with Interest.
L – Loyal to the Client’s Welfare.
O – Obliging.
R – Resourceful.