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Junior/Senior Leadership Training 2012-2013 Session #1: Communicating & Connecting Hoyas Lead Leadership Framework • Unstructured/Informal (UI) • Structured/Positional/Formal (SPF) Unstructured/Informal Leaders (UI) Anyone who does not have a title or formal power, but takes on the responsibility of leadership. They influence others first, through exemplary self-leadership; and second, through intentional connection with all teammates. They are enthusiastic followers. They understand that “not everyone on a championship team gets publicity, but everyone can say they’re a champion”. Structured/Positional/Formal Leaders (SPF) People that have been granted formal power and authority by virtue of a position, a title, or a formal role. To be effective they have already been successful as UI leaders but add to their influence through the platform and voice of their position. Definition: Leadership = Influence • Every team member has the opportunity to “Leadership is relational as much as positional”--John Maxwell influence, “If I had a single, all-purpose instrument of leadership, it would be communication”-John W. Gardner to lead so each has the responsibility • Foundation of leadership in the 21st century is authentic connection, relationship, esp. for SPF leaders • Most important skill in connecting is communicating Communication 101 “The exchange of information, energy, or feelings” Transmission - stuff that goes out • Non-verbal may account for 2/3 or more of all communication • Mehrabian & Ferris (1967): 55% visual cues, 38% vocal cues (pitch, rate, etc), 7% content • Body language is habituated • It is a natural, instinctive reflection of our emotional state Nonverbal Communication • Counterpoint: 2005 German national election study by Nagel, et. al. • Analysis of content and impressions of viewers Nonverbal Communication of debate between Merkel & Schroeder • Concluded that “verbal message elements had by far the strongest impact on viewers’ impressions” • Study weakness--strictly TV viewing, no studio, participants clearly seeking content • Verbal--energy/emotion. Hard to measure, Transmission -- stuff that goes pinpoint or explain, but effect is real out • Verbal--information/content. Words can raise flags, open doors, closer conversations, or create dialogue. Improve your relationship vocab! Reception -stuff that comes in • Effective listening = most important way to build bridges & strengthen connections • “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”--T. Roosevelt Bad Listening -- Example 1 QuickTime™ and a decompressor are needed to see this picture. Bad Listening -- Example 2 QuickTime™ and a decompressor are needed to see this picture. Bad Listening -- Example 3 QuickTime™ and a Photo - JPEG decompressor are needed to see this picture. • Be prepared physically--distance, posture, arm positions, general presence Receiving Keys • Be reflective--reframe the story in your words, check in, convey your engagement • Avoid “loser listening” tendencies Loser Listening • Knowing the Answer • Trying to be Helpful • Competing/Topping • Impressing • Reacting to Red Flags • Believing in Language • Applying the Kitchen Sink Receiving - Availability • Awareness, stillness of mind and being enable the possibility of mystical connection • Availability for real connection by virtual and digital disconnection helps develop: - empathy - delayed gratification Takeaways Words are partial truths. Foolish leaders listen; wise leaders hear. You’ll connect more deeply by realizing words are shadows. Most of us say easier, less revealing, less vulnerable truths. We hide our truths in shadows. Once in a while, dip below the surface and let those around you know you understand their concerns. --Dan Rockwell • Large group feedback • Small group experience sharing and active listening practice