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Relationships Unit Self-esteem Your self-esteem : measure of how much you value, respect, and feel confident about yourself High self-esteem occurs when certain emotional need are met – knowing who you are – needs are met, a person feel safe – people feel a sense of belonging – you work to achieve what is important – believing you deserve love, respect, an attention Risk of low Self-Esteem Feels insecure Disrespects self and others Vulnerable to peer pressure Doesn’t feel valuable Feels depressed Fears failure Uses drugs and alcohol Feels pessimistic Behaves destructively Building Self-Esteem – everyone is different Positive self-talk – learn to take criticism Act with integrity : doing what one knows is right Learn a Reach out to Choose supportive friends – decide to trust rather than to worry Be assertive : speaking up for yourself without offending others Personal Values Your values : beliefs and feelings about how important someone or something is to you Values help you choose right – based on your parents values – start to develop your own values, as a result of personal experiences What influences your values? Families Religious organizations Television and media Friends Organized groups – FFA, Boy Scouts, etc. Rank your values Religion Family Friends Truth Honesty Recognition Independence & freedom Creativity Education Work ethic Adventure Knowledge Power Money or wealth Security Beauty Communication What is communication? : the exchange of information, thoughts, and feelings 3 elements Message Message Understandable How do people communicate? : uses spoken or written words – words trigger emotions – upbeat, downbeat, or sarcastic - will convey a message – look at how it may appear to someone else How do people communicate? Cont. : messages are sent in a visible way : using facial expressions and movements of the head, arms, hands, and body to convey messages – your clothing will say a lot about you – physical appearance and personal hygiene Barriers to Communication Message sender Do not be Message receiver Not Giving Interpretation of the Wandering Hearing only what Fatigue – physical or mental Barriers to Communication cont. Message People’s perceptions : taking from a message only what catches a person's attention Several messages at one time : something, such as a noise or action, that makes it hard to pay attention – verbal and nonverbal to not convey the same message Speaker talks too long – Learning to Communicate Effectively Levels of communication Small Share Share Share Peak communication – high point of Learning to Communicate Effectively cont. Attitudes for effective communication Sense of • – free of assumptions, criticisms, and speculations • – blames the person you are talking to – a person can set aside personal concerns and assume another’s point of view Skills for Effective Communication Appropriate time and place Straight : message receiver hears what is said and supplies nonverbal and verbal reactions : verbal listeners responses : restating the main message, the listener can determine whether or not the message received was accurate The Power of Communication Communication is key to getting Good communication is a skill and will to try – you can improve Relationships with Family Family Relationships are Important Families teach us How to What being Who we Who we What feelings accepted or rejected is like Families need time Types of Families : consists of family in which a mother, father, and one or more biological or adopted children live together – biological mother or father, step-parent, and children of one or both parents Increase because of divorces Types of Families cont. – single parent and children Divorce or widowed Most headed by mother : people who are outside the nuclear family but are related to Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins Types of Families cont. – adopting a child or giving a child up for adoption – will be a part of a new nuclear family – temporary family while a child is waiting to be adopted Characteristics of Health Families Positive communication strengthens the family unit Taught by the parents Refraining form verbally or physically hurting another person Honoring each other privacy Being dedicated to recognizing and achieving what is best for family members Characteristics of Health Families cont Family members encourage, strengthen, and show compassion toward each other Building Require much work from members of the family Coping with Family Problems All family members need to participate in solving a problem Each member will benefit if the problems are resolved as soon as possible : counseling discussions that are led by a third party to resolve conflict among the family members Can give another perspective Relationships with Friends Types of Peer Relationships Friendships - peers with whom you feel socially connected. - relationship with a member of the opposite gender in which there is affection, but no sexual activity Types of Peer Relationships cont. : a small, narrow circle of friends, usually with similar backgrounds or tastes, that excludes people they view as outsiders. : a negative feelings toward someone or something that is based not on experience but, rather, on stereotypes : exaggerated and oversimplified belief about an entire group of people such as ethnic group, religious group, or certain gender Types of Peer Relationships cont. : exaggerated feelings of passion for another person. Dating plays a very big part in growing processes of relationship Peer Pressure : The control and influence people your age may have over you. : sneaky or dishonest way to control or influence others Responding to Negative Peer Pressure : giving up, giving in, or backing down without standing up for your own rights and needs : overly forceful, pushy, hostile, or otherwise attacking in approach : standing up for your own rights in firm but positive ways Refusal Skills : techniques and strategies that help you say no effectively when faced with something that you do not want to do or is against your values State your position Suggest to the behavior being proposed Back up your words Dating Dating Patterns Functions of dating Learn to evaluate Aware of demands and Learn how to get along with others Informal group dating : more emphasis on groups of people than on couples “Hanging out” Small to large groups May just get together or may plan ahead Dating Patterns cont. Formal Pair Dating : dating several people at the same time with no long-term commitment to one person. • “See each other” • May only last one date or it may continue : dating only one person for a period of time • “Going Out” • Share decision making, express feeling honestly, and develop good communication patterns Types of Love : strong feeling of personal attachment between friends or family members; tender and compassionate affection shared between two people Positive types : total communication and commitment between two people. • Strive toward shared thoughts, feelings, attitudes, ambitions hopes, and interest Types of Love cont. Positive love cont. : makes people feel warm, secure, and cheerful : feelings of mutual respect and understanding • Neither passionate and consuming nor hostile and hurting Types of Love cont. Negative Types : jealous lover holds the other person so tightly that the person is cut off from other people : vigorous, insistent, and urgent • Center on sexual relationship : frequently raises its voice in anger against the loved one : unfulfilled love Types of Love cont. Negative Types cont. : foolish extreme attraction that does not last Marriage Healthy Marriage: Working Together : lifelong union between a husband and a wife, who develop an intimate relationship Love Commitment Compromise : state of being emotionally connected to another person Look Before You Leap Examining Decision should be yours Based on love, commitment, and careful thought Cannot be based on just physical attraction Emotional maturity will take time Usually in middle twenties Same level of education – have better chance Look Before You Leap cont. Need to have some things that are similar It is ok to have some differences Remember this is something you will have to live with : exist together in harmony What do hey want in life – job, living, etc Look Before You Leap cont. Convictions : something you believe strongly and take very seriously Religion : partners come from different religions Family bonds are tight Friends need not, or should not, be given up for marriage Do not resent the amount of time with friends Look Before You Leap cont. Discuss children before marriage How many, and when Interracial marriages : partners are of different races Society is slow to accept Different cultures, traditions, lifestyles, and even food History men and women are in charge of different things Now men and women equally share responsibilities Look Before You Leap cont. Parents have your best interest in mind Parental approval has one less hurdle to leap Unbiased, but trained input by third party if there are problems Effort to get to know the other person before you marry, you can find out whether marriages is right for you Differences have a way of surfacing The Engagement : announced intention of two people to marry one another Average time Gives time to plan wedding & to make sure they are both ready to be married Wedding Can be simple to very extravagant Many participate in religious ceremonies Signing of