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5 Healthy Relationships: Communicating Effectively with Friends, Family, and Significant Others PowerPoint® Lecture Slide Presentation prepared by Michael Hall Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Objectives • Discuss ways to improve communication skills. • Explain characteristics of intimate relationships. • Discuss similarities and differences between men and women in communication styles and in how they make decisions. • Discuss the barriers to intimate relationships and factors that inhibit successful communication. • Discuss the importance of commitment, honesty, and mutual respect in relationships. • Examine factors that are important in determining the success of an intimate relationship. • Discuss factors that affect life decisions. • Describe signs of relationship decline and where to get help with relationship problems. Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings The Communication Process: Getting Started • Difficulties in communication: • Expressing how we feel • Worrying about how others will react to what we have to say • The language is complex • Different cultures Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Symbolism in Communication • “Communication” – talking and listening, sending messages with words or your body; the symbolic process of shared meanings • Symbols include: • Words or verbal expressions • Facial expressions • Vocal tone • • • • • • • Eye contact Gestures Movement Body posture Appearance Context Spatial distance Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings How Perception Affects Communication • Perception – the process by which people filter and interpret information from the senses in order to create a meaningful picture of the world • Factors that affect perception: • Self-concept • Self-esteem Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Improving Your Communication Skills • Self-disclosure • Being a better listener: • Competitive or combative listening • Passive or attentive listening • Active or reflective listening • Nonverbal communication • Expressing difficult feelings Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Communicating Assertively • Types of communicators: • Assertive • Nonassertive • Aggressive Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Establishing a Proper Climate • Steps to engage in an open conversation: • Watch judgmental statements • Keep an open mind • Avoid lecturing or projecting superiority • Don’t ask for feedback unless you want an honest answer • Avoid people who tend to give negative feedback Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Managing Conflict • Conflict – an emotional state that arises when the behavior of one person interferes with the behavior of another • Conflict resolution strategies: • Focus on one topic at a time • Stop the action and cool down • Be specific in your criticisms and praises • Learn to “edit” what you say • Think about possible solutions • Never think in terms of winning an argument Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Characterizing and Forming Intimate Relationships • Four characteristics of intimate relationships • Behavioral interdependence • Need fulfillment • Emotional attachment • Emotional availability Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Families: The Ties That Bind • Family of origin – people present in the household during a child’s first years of life • Nuclear family – consists of parents and their offspring Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Establishing Relationships • Components of a good friendship: • Enjoyment • Acceptance • Mutual trust • Respect • Mutual assistance • Confiding • Understanding • Spontaneity Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Significant Others, Partners, Couples • Most partners fit in one of the four categories: • Married heterosexual couples • Cohabitating heterosexual couples • Lesbian couples • Gay male couples • Include all the characteristics of friendship in addition to: • Fascination • Exclusiveness • Sexual desire • Giving the utmost • Being a champion or advocate Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.1 Common Bonds of Friends and Lovers Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.1 This Thing Called Love • Two types of love: • Compassionate • Passionate • “The Triangular Theory of Love”: • Intimacy • Passion • Decision/commitment Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.2 Common Experiences of Love Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.2 Gender Issues in Relationships • Genderlect – differences in word choices, interruption patterns, questioning patterns, language interpretations and misinterpretations, and vocal influences based on gender Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.3 Troubles Talk: How Men and Women Respond Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.3.1 Figure 5.3 Troubles Talk: How Men and Women Respond (continued) Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.3.2 Picking Partners • Proximity • Similarities • Reciprocity • Physical attraction Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Sharing Feelings • Communication between couples: • Leveling • Editing • Documenting • Validating Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Overcoming Barriers to Intimacy • Barriers to communication: • Differences in background • Alcohol and drugs • Dysfunctional families • Jealousy in relationships: • Overdependence on the relationship • High value on sexual exclusivity • Low self-esteem • Fear of losing control Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Committed Relationships • Marriage • Monogamy • Serial monogamy • Open relationship • Cohabitation • Common-law marriage • Gay and lesbian partnerships Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Success in Relationships • Partnering scripts • Being self-nurturing: • Accountability • Confronting couples issues: • Changing gender roles • Sharing power Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.5a Effects of Women’s Age and Ethnicity on Marriage Success Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.5a Figure 5.5b Effects of Women’s Age and Ethnicity on Marriage Success (continued) Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.5b Building Better Relationships • Elements of healthy relationships: • Trust • Behavior interpretation in the context of the relationship • Like your partner • Sexual intimacy • Shared and cherished history Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings