Download Figure 5.3 Troubles Talk: How Men and Women Respond (continued)

5
Healthy
Relationships:
Communicating
Effectively with
Friends, Family,
and Significant
Others
PowerPoint® Lecture Slide
Presentation prepared by
Michael Hall
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc.,
publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Objectives
• Discuss ways to improve communication skills.
• Explain characteristics of intimate relationships.
• Discuss similarities and differences between men and women in
communication styles and in how they make decisions.
• Discuss the barriers to intimate relationships and factors that
inhibit successful communication.
• Discuss the importance of commitment, honesty, and mutual
respect in relationships.
• Examine factors that are important in determining the success of
an intimate relationship.
• Discuss factors that affect life decisions.
• Describe signs of relationship decline and where to get help with
relationship problems.
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
The Communication Process: Getting Started
• Difficulties in communication:
• Expressing how we feel
• Worrying about how others will react to what we have
to say
• The language is complex
• Different cultures
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Symbolism in Communication
• “Communication” – talking and listening, sending messages with
words or your body; the symbolic process of shared meanings
• Symbols include:
• Words or verbal expressions
• Facial expressions
• Vocal tone
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Eye contact
Gestures
Movement
Body posture
Appearance
Context
Spatial distance
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
How Perception Affects Communication
• Perception – the process by which people filter and
interpret information from the senses in order to create a
meaningful picture of the world
• Factors that affect perception:
• Self-concept
• Self-esteem
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Improving Your Communication Skills
• Self-disclosure
• Being a better listener:
• Competitive or combative listening
• Passive or attentive listening
• Active or reflective listening
• Nonverbal communication
• Expressing difficult feelings
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Communicating Assertively
• Types of communicators:
• Assertive
• Nonassertive
• Aggressive
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Establishing a Proper Climate
• Steps to engage in an open conversation:
• Watch judgmental statements
• Keep an open mind
• Avoid lecturing or projecting superiority
• Don’t ask for feedback unless you want an honest
answer
• Avoid people who tend to give negative feedback
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Managing Conflict
• Conflict – an emotional state that arises when the
behavior of one person interferes with the behavior of
another
• Conflict resolution strategies:
• Focus on one topic at a time
• Stop the action and cool down
• Be specific in your criticisms and praises
• Learn to “edit” what you say
• Think about possible solutions
• Never think in terms of winning an argument
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Characterizing and Forming Intimate Relationships
• Four characteristics of intimate relationships
• Behavioral interdependence
• Need fulfillment
• Emotional attachment
• Emotional availability
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Families: The Ties That Bind
• Family of origin – people present in the household
during a child’s first years of life
• Nuclear family – consists of parents and their offspring
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Establishing Relationships
• Components of a good friendship:
• Enjoyment
• Acceptance
• Mutual trust
• Respect
• Mutual assistance
• Confiding
• Understanding
• Spontaneity
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Significant Others, Partners, Couples
• Most partners fit in one of the four categories:
• Married heterosexual couples
• Cohabitating heterosexual couples
• Lesbian couples
• Gay male couples
• Include all the characteristics of friendship in addition to:
• Fascination
• Exclusiveness
• Sexual desire
• Giving the utmost
• Being a champion or advocate
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Figure 5.1 Common Bonds of Friends and Lovers
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Figure 5.1
This Thing Called Love
• Two types of love:
• Compassionate
• Passionate
• “The Triangular Theory of Love”:
• Intimacy
• Passion
• Decision/commitment
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Figure 5.2 Common Experiences of Love
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Figure 5.2
Gender Issues in Relationships
• Genderlect – differences in word choices, interruption
patterns, questioning patterns, language interpretations
and misinterpretations, and vocal influences based on
gender
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Figure 5.3 Troubles Talk: How Men and Women
Respond
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Figure 5.3.1
Figure 5.3 Troubles Talk: How Men and Women
Respond (continued)
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Figure 5.3.2
Picking Partners
• Proximity
• Similarities
• Reciprocity
• Physical attraction
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Sharing Feelings
• Communication between couples:
• Leveling
• Editing
• Documenting
• Validating
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Overcoming Barriers to Intimacy
• Barriers to communication:
• Differences in background
• Alcohol and drugs
• Dysfunctional families
• Jealousy in relationships:
• Overdependence on the relationship
• High value on sexual exclusivity
• Low self-esteem
• Fear of losing control
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Committed Relationships
• Marriage
• Monogamy
• Serial monogamy
• Open relationship
• Cohabitation
• Common-law marriage
• Gay and lesbian partnerships
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Success in Relationships
• Partnering scripts
• Being self-nurturing:
• Accountability
• Confronting couples issues:
• Changing gender roles
• Sharing power
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Figure 5.5a Effects of Women’s Age and Ethnicity
on Marriage Success
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Figure 5.5a
Figure 5.5b Effects of Women’s Age and Ethnicity
on Marriage Success (continued)
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings
Figure 5.5b
Building Better Relationships
• Elements of healthy relationships:
• Trust
• Behavior interpretation in the context of the relationship
• Like your partner
• Sexual intimacy
• Shared and cherished history
Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings