Download 4. Communicating for Impact

Communicating
Confidently & Effectively
Soft Skills Training for Women in Construction
Learning Objectives
 Look at what really happens when we communicate
 Explore communication styles and how we tend to communicate with others
 Review a range of tools and techniques that help promote confidence and effective
communication
 Understand the importance of building rapport during communication
 Realise the effect of using positive and negative language
 Understand and paraphrase
 Understand the importance of active listening
Some truths…
 We all say we need better communication skills, but often we don't know
exactly what that means or how to make it happen
 Most of us have had very little “training” on communication skills
 Sooner or later, communication will go “wrong” when dealing with others
 Often there are some people at work that we find very difficult to communicate
with
 Even the best communicators could face difficulties while communicating
Some thoughts on communication…
 The meaning of communication is not simply what you intend, but also the response
you get from the other person(s).
 "You have to communicate. Everything you say/do, or don't say/don't do, sends a
message to others.“
John Woods
 “Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.”
Jimi Hendrix
Communication problems
We encode and decode messages based on:
 Our beliefs and values
 What is important to us
 How we feel about the person we communicate with
 How much we know about this person
 Our emotional state during communication
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Basic Communication Process
Information richness of communication channels
Low channel richness
Routine
High channel richness
Nonroutine
Six processes during communication
What I
said
What you
thought
you said
What you
said
What you
thought I
said
What I
thought I
said
What I
thought
you said
Principles of effective communication
 Open - reasoning behind decisions is clear and accessible
 Clear - the information is accurate and expressed in plain language with minimal use
of jargon - this applies to all communications (from reports to policy documents)
 Credible - the communication is responsible, realistic, trustworthy
 Timely - accurate and relevant information is provided when needed
 Planned - when possible, communication is proactive and planned to ensure that the
right messages would reach the right people at the right time
 Consistent – communication messages, within an organisation and among its
members, are clear and consistent
 Dialogue - people are encouraged to contribute with ideas and to give feedback
Four elements of effective communication …
Clear
outcome
Flexibility
Rapport
Sensory
precision
&
awareness
How do we absorb information?
We think &
code
information
Feelings
Communication
 Most people use language that includes visual, auditory or
kinaesthetic “feelings”/ words
 All of us use language that represents our interpretation of what
we perceive about an experience
Working on your communication skills
 Using empathy - the ability to share your feelings and understand
other people's emotional state
 Separate the person from their behaviour
 Express your expectations
 Be aware of different communication styles
Rapport
An emotional bond or a friendly
relationship between people, based
on mutual sympathy, trust and a
sense that they understand and share
each others’ concerns.
Build rapport so that you can
communicate effectively
Key words: relationship, understanding, bond, link, affinity, connection, empathy
Why is the rapport important?
In all types of communication and work relations:
 help get things done
 demonstrate that you understand someone else’s
world view
 demonstrate that you communicate well and
understand other people
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Building a rapport




95% of the time we achieve it easily
Believe that the other person wants rapport too
Have confidence that you will achieve rapport
Have a sense of curiosity
Use a technique called mirroring:
 voice, tone, pace of speech
 breathing rhythm
 movement rhythm
 body posture
Why is the rapport so important?
Rapport is like money - increases its
importance when you don’t have it, and
when you do it increases your opportunities!
Communication styles
1.
2.
3.
4.
RED – Action & What
GREEN - Process & How
YELLOW - People & Who
BLUE - Idea & Why
Watch your language!
Negative words
 Afraid
 Annoyed
 Blocked
 Can’t
 Depressed
Positive words
 Exhilarated
 Impassioned
 Temporarily impeded
 Challenged
 Primed for change
Consider the dialogue…
Negative phrasing and language:
Positive phrasing and language:
 tells the recipient what cannot be
done
 tells the recipient what can be done
 has a subtle tone of blame
 suggests alternatives and choices
available
 includes words like can't, won't,
unable to
 sounds helpful and encouraging rather
than bureaucratic
 doesn’t express positive actions or
positive consequences
 stresses positive actions and positive
consequences
Getting & Using Feedback
 Prepare yourself
 Ask for feedback in a systematic way
 Accept the feedback you’ve received and repeat it in order to verify it and confirm
your understanding is correct
 Ask the person to give specific examples
 Do not reject the feedback
 Do not question the feedback or say: “Yes, but…”
 Thank the person providing feedback
 Take the feedback (positive and negative) and learn from it!
Providing feedback…
 Always ask (positive or negative): “May I give you some feedback? May I
share something with you?”
 Talk about their behaviour: “When you…”
 Describe the impact: “Here’s what happens…”
 Ask them to suggest change: “How could you do this differently?”, or
“Thanks, keep it up.”
 Remember that feedback is always about future behaviour. It’s NOT about
the past, because there’s nothing we can do about the past.
Communication types
Nonverbal
Body language
Facial Expressions
Tone
Listening
Touch
Appearance
Posture
Silence
Verbal
Oral (informal conversation, presentation, public
speaking, debate)
Written (text, report, email) - formal
Face-to-face/Distant
Written communication
Written communication could also elicit positive
or negative response in the recipient.
It’s also important how we LISTEN…
Look interested
Inquire with questions
Stay focused
Test understanding
Evaluate the message
Neutralise feelings
Listening skills
 The ability to listen is vital to understanding
what is meant, what is being expressed, what
hasn’t been said, different emotions, etc.
 There is an important distinction between
passive and active listening.
Wrong assumptions about listening
 It is a passive activity
 “You” always know what I mean
 “I” should always know what “you” mean
 Communication happens naturally
The meaning of the
communication, is the
meaning that the recipient
elicits!
Barriers to effective listening
 The speaker: accent, volume, articulation, etc.
 You: your ability to concentrate, your level of anxiety, emotional
state
 Your mind: your inner voice, your focus on what you are going to
say, your preoccupation
 Environment: stuffy room, levels of comfort, noise
Good listening techniques
Physical attention:
 Face the other person SQUARELY - conveys that they have your attention
 Keep your pose OPEN - conveys that you are open to listen, non defensive
 LEAN forward - conveys that you are engaged, don’t forget your body language
 Lots of EYE contact - helps build trust, don’t stare!
 RELAX - trust that you will achieve a high level of rapport, helps to convey an
engagement and improves the listening and the level of understanding
Good listening techniques
Psychological attention:
 Keep an OPEN mind - don’t judge
 Listen FULLY don’t jump into conclusions
 Practise shutting down - EXTERNAL distractions
 REFLECT about the person who speaks and think how they were feeling
 SUMMARISE what has been said, recap the main points
Understanding & Paraphrasing
Ways to help understand the other person
 Paraphrasing - review of what has just been said
 Clarifying - openly present doubts or concerns without challenging the other person
 Echoing - pick up on words and present them back as questions
 Encouraging - nod, “Go on…”, “I see”, “Yes”, etc.
 Listening between the lines – don’t judge, listen the way things are said, body language,
etc.
 Use silence - a pause doesn’t always mean that the speaker has finished, sometimes
demonstrates that you are keen to hear what they have to say
 Don’t interrupt
Understanding & Paraphrasing
 Avoid personal prejudice - don’t get irritated
by what has been said, don’t allow persons’
manners, or characteristics to distract you
 Remove distractions - focus your mind on
what is being said, don’t doodle, tap or
shuffle papers
 Limit your own talking - you have 2 ears and
1 mouth!
 Be prepared - give yourself a structure and
prepare questions in advance, this would
allow you to listen
OR
 Make statements that
help create an agenda
for how the rest of the
discussion could be
structured
 Practise conscious
listening
Nonverbal messages impact
Body language
 Match your
body language,
talk speed,
voice tone
 Watch for skin
colour changes,
flushing, etc.
 Match your body posture
 Be aware of your own mismatches
Decision
Making
Benefits for
peers
Employee
Satisfaction
Problem
Awareness
Effective
Communication
Professional
Image
Productivity
& Work Flow
Business
Relationships
Persuasive
Marketing
And finally…
NB!
It’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it!
HIGH HEELS PROJECT
Leonardo da Vinci –
Transfer of Innovation
2012-1-BG1-LEO05-06924
COPYRIGHT
© Copyright 2013 High Heels Consortium
Consisting of:
BULGARIAN CONSTRUCTION CHAMBER (BG)
CONSTRUCTION TRAINING CENTER (BG)
AR CI PROFESSIONAL CENTRE Ltd (BG)
MILITOS EMERGING TECHNOLOGIES &SERVICES (GR)
KNOWL (GR)
RNDO Ltd (CY)
STEJAR CENTER OF RESEARCH, DEVELOPMENT & EXCELLENCE (RO)
Transferring the University of Salford’s
award winning training programme:
“‘Women and Work: Sector Pathways
Initiative” (2010)
This document may not be copied, reproduced,
or modified in whole or in part for any purpose
without written permission from the High Heels
Consortium. In addition an acknowledgement
of the authors of the document and all
applicable portions of the copyright notice must
be clearly referenced.
All rights reserved.
This project has been funded with support from the European Commission.
This publication [communication] reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be
held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein.