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AYSO National Referee Program
Advanced Referee Administrator
Training
Communications
Workshop number: # 324
Communications Easy to do… Right?
A man went to an attorney and said, “I want to
divorce my wife.”
Attorney: Do you have any grounds?
Man: About 10 acres.
Attorney: Do you have a grudge?
Man: No, just a carport.
Attorney: Does your wife beat you up?
Man: No, I get up about an hour
before she does every morning.
Attorney: Why do you want a divorce?
Man: We just can’t seem to
communicate.
Why Are We Here?
To Explore Ideas For:
Improving/Fine Tuning Our Communication Skills
Improving Our Team Performance With Better
Communications
Translate These Ideas Into Improved Performance
In:
Relating information to others
Understanding others
Working with others
Thoughts On Communication

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It’s a very simple idea: thoughts become words and
words become actions
“Speak when you are angry– and you will make the
best speech you’ll ever regret.”
 Laurence J. Peter (1919 – 1988) Educator and
author of The Peter Principle
If someone were to pay you 10 cents for every kind
word you ever spoke and collect from you 5 cents
for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?
Communications
“The Foundation for Understanding”
Non-verbal Communication
3 Most Important Words

TALK TO ME
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Honor your people
 Begin by saying, “TALK TO ME”
 Listening makes people feel important,
intelligent, and valued
 They’ll repay you by putting forth their best effort
 Are you a good listener?
Why Is Listening So Difficult?

Most of us are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful
about 75% of the time we should be listening

Think at 1,000- 3,000 words per minute

Listen at 125- 250 words per minute
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Short term, we can recall 50%

Long term, we only remember 20%

More than 35 business studies indicate that listening
is a top skill needed for success
4 Principles of Listening

Listening grants others the power of speaking
 Listening is a gift, be generous with it
 What we listen to is more important than what
we say
 Communication is what is heard, not what is
said
Discussion
What can you do to become a
better listener?
More On Communications – Math Lesson
Are You Listening?
Words We Use
Is This
What We
Wanted To
Say?
The Power of Words
Communicating to the Team

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Make your team believe they can do
anything
Open up the clogged channels
After creating a brand defend it
Freedom Creates Discipline
 After Action Review (AAR)
 Blue Angels
Success is shared
Your Attitude – What Does It Say?
Does your attitude communicate what you
really want to say?
When people see your attitude what message
do they receive?
Does your attitude create a positive or negative
communication?
Ben Underwood
Thoughts On Attitude

You don’t do things right once in awhile you do them
right all the time

It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether
you get up

Confidence is contagious and so is a lack of
confidence, and a customer will recognize both

“If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired
with enthusiasm.”
Vince Lombardi
Do You Communicate a Clear
Performance Challenge

Do you share communications?
 Is information communicated to all concerned?
 What is your communication goal?
How Fast Can You Go?
What Was Communicated?
Expectations?
How to perform the task?
Well defined goals?
Was Feedback to the boss possible?
What were the barriers to effective
communication?
Communication As A Leader
Training & Communication
Why should I train people and then loose
them?
The answer is obvious:
The only thing worse than training people
and losing them is not training them and
keeping them.
What Effect Can You Have?
Build Legacy
Customer Service
Goal for the referees:
Support the delivery of a great AYSO
experience for the players and others.
How will today’s workshop help you
support this goal?
AYSO National Referee Program
Advanced Referee Administrator
Training
Mentoring
Mentoring
Leadership Competency
Elements of Mentoring
Goal
Train leaders to be effective
mentors
Who are the leaders?
Prepare to Learn More…
Grow Better…
So We Can Give a Lot!
Today Let’s:
Do Self-analysis
Review How Mentoring Works
Describe and Discuss the
Elements of Mentoring
Prepare to Learn More…
Grow Better…
So We Can Give a Lot!
Mentoring
What’s In It For Me?
Mentoring
Benefits: Help Others!
Mentoring
Benefits: Help Yourself
Mentoring
Ground Rules for Mentors
Get permission
Honor confidentiality
Control level of participation
and disclosure
Everyone’s perspective is valid!
Mentoring
How Does It Work?
First build awareness,
Generate commitment,,
Apply correct practice,
Then… change behavior!
Mentoring
Element 1 – Develop Relationship
Listen to stories
Show interest,
Identify with person’s concern
Examples
One more example…
AWARENESS + COMMITMENT + CORRECT PRACTICE = CHANGE
Mentoring
Element 2 – Listen
To understand
vs.,
To be understood
Examples
AWARENESS + COMMITMENT + CORRECT PRACTICE = CHANGE
Mentoring
Element 3 – Ask Provocative ????
To generate awareness
To get commitment,
To develop a positive relationship
Examples
One more…
AWARENESS + COMMITMENT + CORRECT PRACTICE = CHANGE
Mentoring
Element 4 – Provide Feedback
Two or three things done well
One or two things that are weak,
One or two options per weakness
Keep the loop going
AWARENESS + COMMITMENT + CORRECT PRACTICE = CHANGE
Mentoring
Element 5 – Correct Practice
Identify specific challenge
Select a couple of options
Describe the related practice
Describe the benefits
Check it out…
AWARENESS + COMMITMENT + CORRECT PRACTICE = CHANGE
Mentoring
Let’s Summarize
Ground rules for the mentor?
Elements of mentoring…
(5) Give me a couple
?????
AWARENESS + COMMITMENT + CORRECT PRACTICE = CHANGE
Customer Service
Goal for the referees:
Support the delivery of a great AYSO
experience for the players and others.
How will today’s workshop help you
support this goal?