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Interpersonal Communication Skills Development The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 0 Interpersonal Communication Skills CONTENT versus PROCESS The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 1 Interpersonal Communication Skills VERBAL COMMUNICATION MODELS The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 2 Communication Flow Diagram Agreement Reinforce Expand Query Explanation Indirect Probe Problem Direct Probe Solution Reservations/Doubt Query Close Reassure Substantiate Indirect Probe Review POA Direct Probe Propose COA Question/Confusion/Conflict Rephrase Answer/Clarify/Minimize Query Indirect Probe Direct Probe or The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 3 Explanation Model Problem The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. Solution 4 Agreement Model Reinforce Expand The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 5 Closure Model Review Points of Agreement Propose Course of Action The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 6 Reservation / Doubt Model Reassure Substantiate The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 7 Question / Confusion / Conflict Model Rephrase Answer / Clarify / Minimize The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 8 Query Model Indirect Probe Direct Probe The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 9 Verbal Communication Models QUERY Indirect Probe Direct Probe EXPLANATION Problem Solution AGREEMENT Reinforce Expand RESERVATION / DOUBT Reassure Substantiate QUESTION / CONFUSION / CONFLICT Rephrase Answer / Clarify / Minimize CLOSURE Review Points of Agreement Propose Course of Action The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 10 Communication Flow Diagram Agreement Reinforce Expand Query Explanation Indirect Probe Problem Direct Probe Solution Reservations/Doubt Query Close Reassure Substantiate Indirect Probe Review POA Direct Probe Propose COA Question/Confusion/Conflict Rephrase Answer/Clarify/Minimize Query Indirect Probe Direct Probe or The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 11 Communication Feedback Skills • • • • • • Avoid tuning people out by thinking excessively while they are talking Assume the listener does not understand you Control your emotions so they do not control your communications Interrupt people only if there is a 911 emergency Take notes when listening Focus on the non-verbal communications: body language, voice inflections, and facial expressions of others - not on what you are going to say next The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 12 Dealing with Conflict • • • • • • • • Isolate the issues causing conflict Define the goals or desired results Isolate the areas of agreement and disagreement, and list the unresolved issues Minimize conflict by putting issues into perspective or through compromise Prioritize the issues Brainstorm solutions to the issues Evaluate possible solutions to the issues Make a decision and develop an action plan The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 13 Words of Wisdom for Improving Communication Skills • “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” • “God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.” • “You will never convince me that you are concerned about me or care about me if you are unwilling to listen to me.” • “It is hard to start an argument when you are listening.” The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 14 Interpersonal Communication Skills NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 15 First Impressions • Body Language _________________________________ • Dress __________________________________________ • Face ___________________________________________ • Hands _________________________________________ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 16 First Impression Packaging • Time Extension _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ • Resemblance to Someone Familiar ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ • Categorization ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 17 Credibility Capable of being believed Worthy of confidence Reliable • Credibility Comes From: 1. _____________________________________________ 2. _____________________________________________ 3. _____________________________________________ 4. _____________________________________________ BLOW ONE OF THESE and . . . The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. BOOM! 18 Body Language Match Quiz • Based on their body language, match each of the three with the following choices: a: Husband _______ b: Lover __________ c: Salesman ______ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 19 Silhouette Match Quiz • Try to match each silhouette with the labels listed below: a: Openness, looking for acceptance _______ b: Relaxed negativism ______ c: Lecture ______ d: Headache ______ e: Closed acceptance, defiance ______ f: Aggressiveness ______ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 20 Key Non-Verbal Messages Master these: • • • • • Openness Reassurance Cooperation Confidence Acceptance Counter these: • • • • • The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. Defensiveness Suspicion Frustration Nervousness Boredom 21 Body Language: A Short Skills Course Openness _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 22 Body Language: A Short Skills Course Reassurance _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 23 Body Language: A Short Skills Course Cooperation _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 24 Body Language: A Short Skills Course Confidence _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 25 Body Language: A Short Skills Course Acceptance _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 26 Body Language: A Short Skills Course Defensiveness _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 27 Body Language: A Short Skills Course Suspicion _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 28 Body Language: A Short Skills Course Frustration _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 29 Body Language: A Short Skills Course Nervousness _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 30 Body Language: A Short Skills Course Boredom _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 31 Body Language: A Short Skills Course S ____________________________ O ____________________________ F ____________________________ T ____________________________ E ____________________________ N ____________________________ The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 32 WRITTEN COMMUNICATION SKILLS The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 33 Primary Purposes for Significant Communication Present an idea Solve a problem Answer a question Request The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. action 34 Basic Writing Guidelines Consider your overall objective Develop a logical progression of thought The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 35 Basic Writing Guidelines • (continued) Use short paragraphs, sentences, and words Use the active voice The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 36 Basic Writing Guidelines (continued) • Write the way you talk Be considerate of the sensitivities of your readers The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 37 Basic Writing Guidelines (continued) • Check your grammar, spelling, and punctuation Proof The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. read through your reader’s eyes 38 Basic Writing Guidelines (one last tip) • Avoid putting any bad news in writing, when possible The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 39 WHY? Because you lose the . . . • • • Impact of voice inflection Impact of body language Ability to observe the other person’s response • Ability to query The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 40 Interpersonal Communication Skills The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 41