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CHAPTER 3 LISTENING AS AN INTERPERSONAL SKILL Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield. Beyonce - Listen Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. The Problem Most US Americans spend more than half—as much as 80% of the day hearing—but actively listening only about half the time. Unfortunately, they understand and remember less than 25% of what they hear. Based on materials developed by Robert Montgomery as they appear in Berko, R., Rosenfeld, L., & Samovar, L. (1997). Connecting: A culture-sensitive approach to interpersonal communication competency (2nd ed.). Fort Worth, TX: Harcourt Brace College Publishers, p. 100. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. THE IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING Personal relationships. Education. Business. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. THE LISTENING PROCESS Reception Feedback Perception Assignment of meaning Attention Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. PERCEPTION Perceptual filter--screens what you notice (perceive) and separates what makes sense from what doesn’t. Selective perception--focus to some specific information. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. The Role of Global or Linear Dominance Brain dominance. Affects thinking and listening Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. Linear learners or listeners Logical. Specific sequence. Take information at face value. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. Global listeners or learners Concrete. Visual. Spatial. Generalized description. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. Talk about it: Are you a global or linear listener? Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. LISTENING EVALUATION Differentiate factual statements (those based on observable phenomena or common acceptance) from opinions (inferences or judgments). Ask questions and seek clarification. Recognize emotional biases. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. RESPONSE Questions. Feedback. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. LISTENING INFLUENCERS Interpersonal communicator. Message. Channel. Memory and time. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. Debate Construct arguments to support one position (that may be assigned), then discuss. 1. The responsibility for listening well is on the listener. 2. The responsibility for being clear and interesting is on the person doing most of the talking. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. PURPOSES OF LISTENING Discriminative listening, distinguish among auditory and visual stimuli. Comprehension listening, understand and remember. Therapeutic listening, think through a problem. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. Additional purposes of listening. Critical listening, analyze and judge. Appreciative listening, simply enjoy. Compassionate listening, openminded and no judgment Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. PARAPHRASE AND PROBE The You You You You issue is . . . think . . . want . . . are feeling . . . need . . . Weingarten, R. U. (2006, November 12). Communication with compassion: The art of listening. A report of the Bikur Cholim Conference. Turn to me: Faces and phases of Bikur Cholim. New York, p. 4. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. “There’s something about the respectful silence and attention of the listener that brings out feelings that need comfort or affirmation.” Borysenko, J. (2006, November 12). Guilt is the teacher, love is the lesson, p. 78, as cited in Weingarten, U. Communication with compassion: The art of listening. A report of the Bikur Cholim Conference. Turn to me: Faces and phases of Bikur Cholim. New York. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. LISTENING RESPONSE STYLES Active, figure out key ideas while creating mutual understanding. Recommending, advice giver. Information-seeking. Critical, pass judgment. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. Discussion How is your listening influenced by your culture? Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. In Chinese, note the similarities between the words ear and heart as components of listening. Listening 聽 Ear 耳朵 Heart 心臟 Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. HIGH CONTEXT-LOW CONTEXT CULTURES Low: US High: Japan Video: Low and High Context Cultures Source of chart: http://www.gender work.com/images/f lags.gif Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. Practice Pair with a partner. One person be the source and the other the receiver. Talk about easy topics, such as your major, things you like to do, sports. The listener needs to practice questioning and paraphrasing. After a few minutes, switch roles. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. LISTENING APPREHENSION May be a long term disability. Less able to interact effectively. Worried about is how you will respond. Less thinking or preparing. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. SOLUTIONS TO LISTENER APPREHENSION Relax. Take notes. Paraphrase. Prepare. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS Recognize joint communication responsibility. Reserve judgment. Be a tolerant listener. Use engaging nonverbals. Control distractions. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. SKILL IMPROVEMENT CONTINUED Avoid egospeak. Egospeak is the “art of boosting our own ego by speaking only about what we want to talk about, and not giving a hoot in hell about what the [other] person is speaking about.” A concept first discussed in Addeo, E., & Burger, R. (1974). Egospeak. New York: Bantam Books, p. xiv. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. Application Learning Activities Discuss with a partner or small group or complete on your own outside class. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. GLOBAL OR LINEAR LISTENER Based on the measure in the chapter, what is you thinking dominance and how might that affect your listening? What communication techniques can you use to better adapt to a listener who is different from you? Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. MENTAL ATTENTIVENESS Just for fun, complete this 54-item listening test or find a different one on the Internet. You can select "I don't want to answer" options regarding the demographic data at the end of the test. There are enough questions to help you think about your listening behaviors in various contexts. Given the importance of listening effectively, how skilled are you? What do the results suggest that you could do to improve your listening skills? http://www.queendom.com/queendom_tests/tra nsfer?req=MXw3MDN8NTQ3MDkwN3wxfDE=&refe mpt=1 Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN In US culture, we typically expect the speaker to be responsible for effective communication. In many cultures, the listener is responsible. If you haven't already taken the Willingness to Listen measure, do that now. If you want to change your communication effectiveness, you can increase your willingness to listen. How will you do that in interpersonal communication situations? http://www.jamescmccroskey.com/measur es/wtlisten.htm Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved. END CHAPTER 3 LISTENING AS AN INTERPERSONAL SKILL Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield. Chapter 3. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.