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Weeds and Roses
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Yes, the purpose is given to you, but…
What should you do with this?
Which parts are okay to keep word for word?
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What do you do with the word for word parts?
Which parts are not?
“United States President Abraham Lincoln surprised his
audience—which expected a lengthy speech on politics,
slavery and states’ rights—with a short speech in which
he contemplated the effects of the Civil War and offered
his vision for the future of the nation.”
“Abraham Lincoln’s
Second Inaugural
Address was a very
unique speech in that
it was not made to
talk about politics, but
rather to give hope
and encouragement to
a divided nation
battered by a four
year long civil war.”
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Great sentence, huh?
But let’s get picky.
How can we make
this more clear, less
wordy?
Rule of 25 or less.
“Abraham Lincoln’s
Second Inaugural
Address was a very
unique speech in that
it was not made to
talk about politics, but
rather to give hope
and encouragement to
a divided nation
battered by a four
year long civil war.”
(39 words)
“Abraham Lincoln’s
Second Inaugural
Address was unique;
it spoke not about
politics, but rather
gave hope and
encouragement to a
divided nation
battered by a four
year civil war.”
(29 words)
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Prompt makes shift in the piece clear:
contemplation and vision
You have to find it
Got one, but not the other?
Success of not discussing both sides?
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Same, same, but different from Weed #2
Say more, notice more, discuss more
Remember what we did with Oke piece?
“He uses parallel sentence structure multiple
times to achieve these comparisons: ‘All
dreaded it, all sought to avert it,’ and ‘but one
of them would make war rather than let the
nation survive, and the other would accept war
rather than let it perish.’ He uses this sentence
structure to reflect on the similarities in both
parties that caused the war to start. The author
is attempting to rid all finger-pointing as to
who started the war by parallely comparing
both sides, holding them in equal light. This is
meant to cause the audience to contemplate the
blame that they may be giving.”
“Lincoln further utilizes repition; he sues the
word ‘war’ a total of six times in two complex
sentences. Lincoln seeks to send his audience
thinking as they must contemplate the negative
connotation of war in t heir minds. War is often
associated with blood and death, so Lincoln’s
use of the word sets off a serious tone that
could knock the foolishness out of many closeminded people.”
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“If the author had used the word ‘play’ instead
of game…”
How many things could the author have done?
What does the prompt ask you to discuss?
Use to help brainstorm, but do not include it in
your writing
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Use a colon between an introduction and quote
if:
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Intro clause is independent
Quote explains intro clause
Ms. K doesn’t like driving in the snow: “My car spun
out six times yesterday!”
You try one!
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Nice work including all given information:
date, author, title (occasion). This shows you
read, understand and realize it’s importance!
Various introductions are working. Check out
the difference between these two:
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“On March 4th, 1865, re-elected President
Abraham Lincoln gave his second Inaugural
Address. This speech, most expected, was to be
long and full of references to politics, slavery
and state’s right, but instead, Lincoln gave a
speech wash was short and to the point. He
first contemplates the effects the Civil War had
on our country, it’s people and they way they
coincided. A short time later, Lincoln offers his
vision for the future. The way in which
President Lincoln presents his speech using
anaphora, apostrophe and repeated words
helps to convey the purpose of the speech to
his audience.”
“The Civil War was a war that threatened to tear
America apart. It was long and extremely
bloody. Death was its middle name. The South
fought to keep the slaves; the North fought to
free them. President Lincoln fought to keep the
Union together, because he saw America as a
beacon of freedom for countries that would
soon follow in her path. In his second
Inaugural Address, President Lincoln used
rhetorical strategies to contemplate the Civil
War’s effects on America, and to offer a vision
for America’s future.”
“President Abraham Lincoln, one of the most
celebrated presidents, is well known for his
involvement in the Civil War and the
emancipation of slaves. He was the man who
brought he United States through war and
emerged with the Union intact. He liberated
millions of men and women who had been
oppressed for their entire lives and gave them a
chance for a new existence. Yet before his actions
became a reality, he had to successfully win the
war. In his Second Inaugural Address, Lincoln
thoughtfully reflected upon the effects of the war
that ravaged the country and also proposed a plan
to preserve the Union. Through his use of
rhetorical strategies, Lincoln was able to effectively
and eloquently convey his message.”
“He uses this allusion to the Bible to emphasize
the fact that God has a plan for everyone and
those who fight it and commit crimes…will not
have as good of a life. Lincoln references God
to increase his ethos, because in the late 1800’s
most citizens of the United States were Godfearing Christen people who at the time of the
war both asked for Him to let their side win.
God reminded people of church and a feeling
of belonging and togetherness, which made
Northerners want to preserve the Union even
more, leading to Lincoln’s vision for the future.
It also reminded the citizens of all that they had
lost to the Civil War and all they could gain
back if the Union won.”
“Lincoln continues in a contemplative tone in the
following paragraphs when he makes several
allusions to the Bible. Lincoln makes a harsh
point that of the two sides—North and South—
’Both read the same Bible and pray to the same
God.’ Lincoln suggests to his audience that in
many ways, one’s enemy is in fact, very similar
to oneself. The opposing side is not some
abominable monster, but a person, who has
fears and quarrels, the same as any other
human being.”
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What does “with” mean?
Why is that specific word repeated?
What is that device called when you include
extra conjunctions?
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AP Write moved to Wednesday
Two passages to discuss, similar to Oke