Download More and More, Less and Less” Narcissistic Despair, the

“More and More, Less and Less”
Narcissistic Despair, the Desire for
More, and the Paradoxical Discovery
of Buddhism & the Question of
Happiness
Elizabeth Rovere, Psy.D.
[email protected]
The New School
New York, NY
4 Major Points
1. Narcissism is rampant and increasing
2. There is an increasing interest in Buddhism in
popular culture and in the mental health field
3. Buddhism, a practice based on selflessness and
altruism is on the rise in our narcissistic culture
4. Perhaps Buddhism offers the potential to meet
needs unfulfilled in our narcissistic culture and
transform that culture in the process
Narcissism is rampant and
increasing
• Increased feelings of despair
• Epidemic of depression in every industrialized
nation in the world
• Material wealth does not provide sustained
happiness, joy or fulfillment
What is Narcissism?
• Libidinal cathexis of the ego- Freud
• False self generated by inadequate parental
mirroring- Kohut
• Narcissistic personality (DSM) defined by:
a) grandiosity b) fantasies of power, brilliance,
success c) exhibitionism d) difficulty responding
to criticism e) entitlement f) exploitativeness g)
relationships over idealized or devalued h) lack of
empathy
Current technology fuels the increase in narcissism. Names like
MySpace and YouTube encourage attention-seeking.
Buddhism is on the rise in the
United States
• Number of Buddhists in the US rose by
170% between 1990 and 2000
• Dalai Lama frequent speaker to sold out
audiences in major US cities
• Prominent in self-help literature
• Mindfulness incorporated into
psychotherapy theories and practice
Why is it so popular?
• Its non-dogmatic
• Meditation practices backed by science
• We can be free from suffering
How do we understand its
popular appeal to Narcissists?
1) It’s a fad.
(Is Buddhism just another narcissistic achievement
to parade around?)
2) God like attributes are in each one of us
(but, not just one of us)
Can Buddhism Help Narcissists?
• In what way does Buddhism offer the
potential to meet the needs unfulfilled in our
narcissistic culture and transform that
culture in the process?
Bodhisattva holding a mirror
• Buddhism provides a
mirror and
compassionately
shows us the
impossibility of
satisfying our
narcissistic cravings.
THE WHEEL OF LIFE
The Hungry Ghost Realm in The
Wheel of Life
• An image of narcissistic desire: emaciated wraith like
beings with thin necks. The more they try to eat, the more
craving is produced.
• Note the image of the Bodhisattva in the second picture, he
holds a bowl of spiritual nourishment.
Buddhist Conceptualization of Self
• Buddhism reconceptualizes our way of thinking about the “self”. It
deconstructs the individualistic sense of self and redefines self as
relative and interconnected.
• There is a relative sense of self, not an absolute sense of self.
Western perspective
1. Absolute Self
2. Fixed image of self
3. Individualistic
4. False sense of security
5. Grandiosity and Humiliation
Buddhist perspective
1. Relative self
2. Impermanent image of Self
3. Interconnected
4. Security comes through coming
to terms with change
5. Awe and Humility
Threefold System of Change
1) wisdom (reading/analysis)
2) ethics and lifestyle change
3) contemplation (meditation/internal
knowledge)
Four Guidelines to Living Life
1)
2)
3)
4)
COMPASSION
ALTRUISM
COMMUNITY
MINDFULNESS
Compassion
• Self improvement is a social service
• Taking on society and improving it
• Compassionate discipline: an inner
revolution against one’s own negativity
• Non-violent non-cooperation with one’s
own misery and craziness
Altruism
• Current economics and psychological
research demonstrate that altruism makes us
happy. Mayr’s study (Science, 2007) found
evidence of pure altruism- giving for sake
of other.
• For the narcissist, experiencing altruism and
joy through connection is a developmental
achievement.
Community
• Belonging is one of the largest markers of
what brings personal satisfaction and
happiness (Kahneman, 2006)
Contemplation
• The gaining of wisdom or knowledge
through internal/intuitive experience
• Numerous studies show meditation
enhances self-regulation, feelings of wellbeing, compassion, & altruism. Meditation
decreases the fight-flight response,
increases memory, attention-span and
enhances neuroplasticity.
Buddhist influences in mental
health
• Jon Kabat-Zinn- Mindfulness Based Stress
Reduction
• Marsha Linnehan- Dialectical Behavioral
Therapy
• Zindel Segal- Mindfulness Based Cognitive
Therapy for Depression
Summation
If we can use the Bodhisattva's mirror to see our condition,
utilize that insight to reconceptualize our discrete individualized
constructs of self and other; we maybe able to internalize ourselves
as related, altruistic, compassionate and contemplative members
of communities and forge a path out of emptiness and towards a
more present, kind and connected way of living.
Buddhism offers a “cure” for
modern egocentrism
To study Buddhism is to study the Self
To study the Self is to forget the Self
To forget the Self is to become one with
others.
-Zen Master Dogen
To forget the self is to become
one with other
Al Gore’s new logo for his campaign to save the
environment, illustrates this transformation of
“me” into “we”. A transition from an
individualistic to a connected way of living.