Download Dating

How to Develop a Healthy
Relationship
Avoiding Relational Traps
 Emotional Trap
 Infatuation Trap
 Sex Trap
How to Develop the Best
Relationships
 Consider Yourself
 Being the right person
 Chemistry
 Being attracted to
 Compatibility
 Character
 Commitment
another person
 Sharing things in
common
 Discovering the real
person
 To the well-being of
another person
Consider Yourself
“I Am Unique,
One-of-a-Kind”
Potential Emotional
Consequences
Worry
Feeling Used
Feeling Empty
Depressed
Esteem
Regret/Guilt
Lowered Self-
 Robin- “After I had sex the second time, it made
me feel horrible. First of all I didn’t enjoy it, and
second I thought ‘what are you doing to yourself’?
You know you can get pregnant and maybe catch
an STD…all these thoughts were going on in my
mind.”
 Which emotional consequences(s) is Robin
experiencing?
 Nick- “I had come to a place through all the
different heartaches and heartbreaks…I was in a
real hole, a dark pit. Sleeping around wasn’t
bringing fulfillment in my life. It left me feeling
empty”.
 Which emotional consequence(s) is Nick
experiencing?
 Sarah- “Every time I had sex I was giving away a
piece of my heart. I was giving away something I
could never get back. I found myself making
excuses for the bad behavior of boyfriends. I felt
used and empty…I started hating myself.”
 Which emotional consequence(s) is Sarah
experiencing?
Why do you think that 66% of all
sexually active teens interviewed
reported that they wished they
waited longer to have sex?
Compatibility
Areas
Character Counts
 Honesty
 Self-control
 Respect
 Responsibility
 Caring
Commitment
Take the Love Test
Infatuation vs. Love
 Time
 Knowledge
 Can infatuation turn
into love?
 Can it not turn into love?
 How can you know if it
will?
 Focus
 Trust
 Priority
 Problems
 Separation
 Attraction
 Feelings
 Family and Friends
Choosing the right person.
Choosing the Right Person
One of the most important things to know about a
potential date is the quality of the person’s character.
Is unselfish
Treat others well
Is tolerate and respectful
Has similar morals and values
Is fun to be with
Respects themselves
Avoiding the Wrong Person
Do not date someone that
Hurts you physically or emotionally
Does not respect your morals and values
Makes you feel badly about your self
Is jealous
Is possessive
Being the Right Person
Honest
Trustworthy
Generous
Not possessive
Good friend
Person of integrity and character
Sexual Assault and Rape
Sexual Assault
Any sexual activity in
which force or threat
of force is used.
Sexual Pressure
Internal
External
 Hormones
 Persuasions
 Thoughts
 Media
 Urges
 Music
In more than half of the rapes committed,
the victim knows the attacker. Being raped
by someone you know is more common
than left-handedness, heart attacks , or
alcoholism.
Most common mistakes made:
 A teenage girl voluntarily agreeing to go to the
house, apartment, or car of a young man she has
known for less than 24 hours.
 The impairment of the victim by drugs or alcohol.
Safety Tips
 If you are going on a date
 Be aware that alcohol
find out as much as you
can about the person.
 If you don’t know your
date very well, consider
double-dating.
 Know the dating plans
and tell someone.
 Don’t hesitate to be
assertive when you say
NO.
decreases your ability to
react and impairs your
judgment.
 If attending a party, do
not leave with a guy you
don’t know very well.
 Avoid out-of-the way
places or secluded areas.
 Listen to your instincts!
Date Rape Drugs
There are at least three date rape drugs.
GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric acid)
Rohypnol (flunitrazepam)
Ketamine (ketamine hydrochloride)
 Because of the effect of these drugs,
victims may be physically helpless,
unable to refuse sex, and cannot
remember what happened.
 The drugs often have no color, smell, or
taste.
 They are easily added to flavored drinks
without the victim’s knowledge.
 These drugs have been used on both
men and women.
What do the drugs look like?
 GHB – liquid with no odor or color, white powder, and
pill.
 Rohypnol – pill that dissolves in liquids (new ones turn
blue in liquid)
 Ketamine – white powder
What effects do these drugs have
on the body?
 They can affect you quickly.
 The length of time that the effects last varies
depending on how much of the drug is
taken.
 Alcohol can worsen the drug’s effects.
Are these drugs legal in the US?
 Rohypnol is NOT legal in the U.S. It is legal in
Europe and Mexico and brought into the U.S.
illegally.
 Ketamine is legal in the U.S. for use as an
anesthetic for humans and animals. Mostly
animals.
 GHB was recently made legal in the U.S. to treat
problems from narcolepsy (a sleep problem).
Is alcohol a date rape drug?
 Alcohol is a drug that can put a person at risk for
unwanted or risky sexual activity.
 When a person is drinking alcohol:
 It is harder to think clearly and evaluate a
potentially dangerous situation.
 It’s harder to resist sexual or physical assault.
 Drinking too much alcohol can also cause blackouts and memory loss.
If a victim of sexual assault drank alcohol, they are
not at fault for being assaulted.
How can I protect myself from being a
victim?
 Don’t’ accept drinks from other people.
 Open containers yourself.
 Keep your drink with you at all times, even when
you go to the bathroom.
 Don’t share drinks.
 Don’t drink from punch bowls, etc.
 Don’t drink anything that tastes funny. (GHB may
taste salty)
 Have a friend that can “watch your back.”
If you think that you have been raped:
 Go to the police station or hospital right away.
 Get a urine test asap. The drugs leave your system
quickly. Rohypnol: 72 hours GHB: 12 hours
 Don’t urinate before getting help.
 Don’t douche, bathe, or change clothes before getting
help. You may disturb evidence.
 Call a crisis center or hotline to talk to a counselor.
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1 -800-656-HOPE
Friendship
 Two people get to know each other better.
 They may find they have things in common.
 They explore each others characteristics.
 They are on their best behavior.
Attraction
 Something about the person catches your
attention.
 You are attracted to each other.
 You want to get to know each other better.
Close Friendship
 Two people spend more time together.
 The two people get to know each other’s values
and feelings.
 You begin to discover each others tendencies.
 At this stage the relationship may progress or
retreat.
Deep Friendship
 You reveal your faults.
 They let down their masks of best behavior
and reality sets in.
 The two trust each other and accept each
others’ true self, complete with faults.
 They may decide to “go steady.”
Lifelong Love
 Two people feel they can commit to each
other for life.
 The two have invested time into the
relationship.
 The degree of closeness makes conflict likely
but the two learn to resolve conflict in
healthy ways.
 This relationship may lead to marriage.