Download Fighting Words (Mike Smith), PPT

Languaging
for
Leadership
Choosing words that work better.
Ancient Wise
Saying Revised
Be careful of your WORDS because
your words become your thoughts. Be
careful of your THOUGHTS because
your thoughts become your ACTIONS.
Be careful of your actions because they
create your HABITS. Be careful of
your habits because they build your
CHARACTER. Be careful of your
character because it creates your
DESTINY!
How Human
Communication
Works
Words translate
into pictures
 emotional
 memories
responses
Self- Talk
 Your
vocabulary is influenced by
your self- image.
 Each word produces a picture to be
imitated in action.
How you say it
Body language
 Inflection
 Facial Expression
 Voice level
 Timing

Words you
choose
Those things do matter BUT the
most subtle and devastating block
to communication may well be the
actual words you choose to use.
We all have filters and
habitual, conditioned
responses to EVERY
WORD we hear.
How the Brain
Works In
Communication
Filters
 Affective
=
 Effective =
Conditioned Emotional Responses
Generated by circumstances
Cultural
Differences
 Status
indicators
 Gestures
 Appropriate body language
 Reactions to each word
Gender
Differences
 Men
and women use language
differently
Independence

trust
Word Selection – “Languaging.”
There are choices between words in every
situation.
 Be aware of the intrinsic meanings attached
to each word/phrase.
 Choosing wisely is and art.
 Avoid FIGHTING WORDS & PHRASES

Fighting Words!
And Alternatives
Don’t!
 People
can’t don’t. Quit telling
them what you don’t want.

Instead tell them what You Do
Want to have happen.
Fail or Failing
–finding
I - inviting
 A –an
N - needed
 I – important
G - growth
 L –lesson
 This is the foundation of learning!
F
Try, I’ll Try
I can do this!
 I’ll figure it out.
 “Count on it.”

Problem
 Opportunity
 Challenge
 Situation
Change
 Improve
 Build
 Perfect
 Rethink
But
 And
Can't
 Won't
 Can't
YET
Wrong



Not what I would do
Different
Interesting
Bad



Not up to expectations.
Not our (your) best work.
Not what I thought …..
Should Have
 Next
time I’ll
Bored
What else could you do?
 Make different choices.

Phrases that block
communication
My BAD
 Sorry!
I’m working on it.
 Next time I’ll…
How do you say
“No” when you
need to!
 Thanks
for thinking of me and…
 Not at this time. Thank you.
 Oh, no thank you.
 Have you considered?
Yes, BUT
 Please
consider…
 That might be true. Have you
considered…
 No thank you.
 NO, I don't think so.
You! (accusatory)
 Human
Beings…
 Many people…
 I have been known to…
We'll see
 Yes
 No
I
am not sure
 I will get back to you by……
We tried that …
 Didn’t
we try that?
 What did we learn last time?
 Does this look familiar?
Not right now!
 Schedule
a time to meet.
Why did you?
 What
reaction were you expecting?
 Help me understand…….
 What caused you to do that?
Languaging IS a choice
Use your words to
maximize your
effectiveness.
Remember it takes a 21
days to make or break a
habit and changing your
word pattern will not occur
overnight.
And you can do
it!!! Good luck!