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MANAGING THE WORD COUNT
Writing within the set word count for assignments is one of the biggest challenges that
students face.
Have a try at the following activities – they are all followed by some suggestions to
compare your responses to.
Example 1
Try to amend or re-write the sentence below without losing the meaning of it. Aim to
reduce the number of words by half. Write in the right-hand column.
Recommendation:
To build a long term sustainable
change model to last 10 years is
the only way forward. In doing so,
there is need to retain all
that is positive about the current
performance of the organisation
but align this with an outwards
facing strategic enabling approach.
(46 words).
Example 2
Again, try to cut the number of words in the left hand column below to under half,
without losing the meaning of the section. Write in the right-hand column.
The power of fossil fuel companies
is such that that they can influence
developed countries not to sign up
to the Kyoto Protocol. Developed
countries are susceptible to the
influence of fossil fuel companies so
if they not told to sign up, they are
likely to give way to that pressure.
(51 words)
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Example 3
Reduce the word count on this sentence to the minimum possible number, without
losing the meanings of the section.
The public’s knowledge of health is
poor and more government funding
for health education is needed
(Atkinson 2004).
Increased sums of money should be
spent on courses to make people
aware of personal health issues.
People don’t always know what they
can do to take care of their health, so
further investment is needed in
training on health matters.
(59 words)
Example 4
This is the introduction and first paragraph from an essay on e-business.
Which words could be cut, without losing the meaning of sentences?
This essay attempts to evaluate the business model and e-strategy of web
based business Amazon.com. The success of Amazon.com will be analysed
through different services that it offers to customers specially focusing on
their online book service and z shops. It is based on the mixed research of
articles and literature obtained from different writers.
Before embarking on an approach to analyse the business model, there is
a need to explore the meaning of the business model. Paul Timmers
(2000) has defined the business model as: “an architecture for product,
service and information flows, including a description of the various
business actors and their roles” (p.46). Although there are different kinds
of business models but they have all got one thing in common, they are
designed to make money for their owners in the long run.
(136 words)
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MANAGING THE WORD COUNT – ‘Answers’ & Notes
Example 1
The power of fossil fuel companies
is such that that they can influence
developed countries not to sign up
to the Kyoto Protocol. Developed
countries are susceptible to the
influence of fossil fuel companies so
if they not told to sign up, they are
likely to give way to that pressure.
(51 words)
The power of fossil fuel companies
is such that that they can influence
developed countries not to sign up
to the Kyoto Protocol.
(23 words)
Comment
This is an example of tautology: repeating the same word or sentence in an
unnecessary way. The second sentence says much as the same as the first and
can be cut.
Example 2
The public’s knowledge of health is
poor and more government funding
for health education is needed
(Atkinson 2004).
Increased sums of money should be
spent on courses to make people
aware of personal health issues.
People don’t always know what they
can do to take care of their health,
so further investment is needed in
training on health matters.(59
words)
The public’s knowledge of health is
poor and more government funding
for health education is needed
(Atkinson 2004).
(18 words)
Comment:
Same as for example 2 – there are two unnecessary sentences here!
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Example 3
Recommendation:
Recommendation:
To build a long term sustainable
change model to last 10 years is
the only way forward. In doing so,
there is need to retain all
that is positive about the current
performance of the organisation
but align this with an outwards
facing strategic enabling approach.
A long-term plan for change is
needed that retains all the positive
features of the organisation
(16 words).
(46 words).
Comment
The original example contains a number of redundant and superfluous words.
For example, “…build a long term sustainable change model to last 10 years”.
‘Long-term’ and ‘sustainable’ mean the same thing, and ‘long term’ becomes
superfluous if we are given a time period.
There are also unnecessary terms, such as, ‘In doing so…’
It also contains jargon that slows our understanding, for example, “… but align
this with an outwards facing strategic enabling approach”.
It is also written in the passive voice, e.g. “To build a long term sustainable
change model to last 10 years is the only way forward”. This could have been
written in an active voice, which inevitably cuts down on words, e.g. ‘Building
a….etc.
However, re-writing the sentence, cutting out redundant and superfluous words,
is the best option. The re-worded sentence is clearer, sharper – and cuts down
on words by nearly two-thirds.
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Academic Skills Advice service
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Example 4
Before
After
This essay attempts to evaluate the
business model and e-strategy of
web based business Amazon.com.
The success of Amazon.com will be
analysed through different services
that it offers to customers specially
focusing on their online book
service and z shops. It is based on
the mixed research of articles and
literature obtained from different
writers.
Before embarking on an approach
to analyse the business model,
there is a need to explore the
meaning of the business model.
Paul Timmers (2000) has defined
the business model as: “an
architecture for product, service and
information flows, including a
description of the various business
actors and their roles” (p.46).
This essay will evaluate the
business model and e-strategy of
web based business Amazon.com
and will focus on their online book
service and z shops.
Before analysing the business
model, there is a need to explore its
meaning, Timmers (2000) has
defined the business model as: “an
architecture for product, service and
information flows…” (p.46).
Although there are different kinds of
business models, they have one
thing in common: they are designed
to make money for their owners.
(78 words).
Although there are different kinds of
business models but they have all
got one thing in common, they are
designed to make money for their
owners in the long run. (136 words)
Comment
A saving of over 40 per cent on the original word count can be made by a ruthless
pruning of words, without loss of meaning. The original was also written in part in
the passive voice: “This essay attempts to evaluate the business model… “etc. By
changing to the active voice: “This essay will evaluate…” the result is more concise
and direct.
Quotations in assignments use many precious words! If you need to use
quotations, think about the parts that are essential and cut out the rest.
© Colin Neville. [email protected]
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