Download Buddhism and theory of development and theory

Week 6
Buddhism:
theory of relationship and theory of development
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_relationship
An interpersonal relationship
Is an association between two or more people that may range from
fleeting to enduring. This association may be based on limerence,
love, solidarity (unity), regular business interactions, or some other
type of social commitment.
How is it developed?
Interpersonal relationships are formed in the context of social,
cultural and other influences.
The context can vary from family or kinship relations, friendship,
marriage, relations with associates, work, clubs, neighborhoods,
and place of worship.
They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and
are the basis of social group and society as a whole.
Relationship between two individuals
•A connection between two individuals, such as a romantic or
intimate relationship, or a parent-child relationship.
•Individuals can also have relationships with groups of people, such as
the relation between an uncle and a family, or a mayor and a town.
•Groups or even nations may have relations with each other, though
this is a much broader domain than that covered under the topic of
interpersonal relationships.
•Associations between groups of different nations = International
relations
•Most scholarly work on relationships focuses on the small subset of
interpersonal relationships involving romantic partners in pairs.
How is Dukkha formed?
•Interpersonal relationships usually involve some level of
interdependence. (then expectation is created = buddhist
concerning = Kilesa, Tannha?)
•People in a relationship tend to influence each other, share their
thoughts and feelings, and engage in activities together. (just to
serve self-fulfillment= Utta).
•Because of this interdependence, most things that change or
impact one member of the relationship will have some level of
impact on the other member. (chains of reactions, chain Kamma?
Interpersonal relationship creates branches of studies
• The social sciences include disciplines such as sociology, psychology,
anthropology and social work.
•The scientific study of relationships is referred to as relationship
science and distinguishes itself from anecdotal evidence or pseudoexperts by basing conclusions on data and objective analysis.
• Interpersonal ties are also a subject in mathematical sociology.
More opinion…
Then,… those who concentrate on these studies may not realize
that the un-trained mind creates all the troublesome.
These studies fulfill knowledge and degrees rather than mind
practicing.
Theory of Development
Interpersonal relationships are dynamic systems that change continuously during
their existence.
Like living organisms, relationships have a beginning, a lifespan, and an end. They
tend to grow and improve gradually, as people get to know each other and become
closer emotionally, or they gradually deteriorate as people drift apart, move on with
their lives and form new relationships with others.
One of the most influential models of relationship development was proposed by
psychologist George Levinger. This model was formulated to describe heterosexual,
adult romantic relationships, but it has been applied to other kinds of interpersonal
relations as well.
According to the model, the natural development of a relationship follows five
stages:
1 Acquaintance (= state of familiarization) – Becoming acquainted depends on
previous relationships, physical proximity (=being close to each other), first
impressions, and a variety of other factors. If two people begin to like each other,
continued interactions may lead to the next stage, but acquaintance can continue
indefinitely.
Theory of Development
2 Buildup –people begin to trust and care about each other for
intimacy, compatibility and common background and goals
3 Continuation –a mutual commitment to a long-term friendship,
romantic relationship, or marriage - a long, relative stable period.
Continued growth and development occur, mutual trust is
important for sustaining the relationship.
4 Deterioration – Not all relationships deteriorate, but those that
do tend to show signs of trouble (boredom, resentment, and
dissatisfaction), and individuals may communicate less and avoid
self-disclosure, loss of trust and betrayals, eventually ending the
relationship.
5 Termination –the end of the relationship, either by death in the
case of a healthy relationship, or by separation.
Theory of Development
•Friendships may involve some degree of transitivity.
•A person may become a friend of an existing friend's friend.
•However, if two people have a sexual relationship with the same person, they
may become competitors rather than friends. Accordingly, sexual behavior
with the sexual partner of a friend may damage the friendship.
•Legal sanction reinforces and regularizes marriages and civil unions as
perceived "respectable" building-blocks of society.
Courses to learn about human “Ma-Ya?”
Contents
1 Development
2 Flourishing relationships
2.1 Background
2.1.1 Adult attachment
2.1.2 Love
2.2 Theories and empirical research
2.2.1 Confucianism
2.2.2 Minding relationships
2.2.3 Culture of appreciation
2.2.4 Capitalizing on positive events
2.3 Other perspectives
2.3.1 Neurobiology of interpersonal
connections
2.4 Applications
2.5 Controversies
Then “Attachment”
is formed. Success
ones tighten the
tie, the loss ones
reacts towards
positive or
negative Kamma.
How are those related to
Buddhism points of view?
Buddhism and Relationships: Four Noble Truths, Three Yanas
http://www.susanpiver.com/wordpress/2008/03/05/buddhism-and-relationships-fournoble-truths-three-yanas/
•Buddhism has much to teach on the topic relationships, even though
it may not seem that way at first. I mean what do the four noble truths
(life is suffering; suffering is caused by attachment; it’s possible to
stop suffering; there is an 8-fold path for doing so) have to do with
figuring out how to love someone—or how to survive when someone
stops loving you?
•Well, as a student of Buddhism and one who writes about
relationships, I can tell you that every time I’ve tried to contextualize a
Buddhist teaching as a way of understanding love, it works.
•So not too long ago, I thought about the four noble truths and the
three yanas in connection with that which we long for and fear the
most: love.
•The three yanas (or vehicles) are the Hinayana (foundational vehicle),
Mahayana (great vehicle), and Vajrayana (indestructible vehicle.)
•Hinayana teachings focus on personal conduct; getting your own life
together.
•Mahayana teachings are about what naturally happens next: your
heart opens to others. You can’t help it. So the Mahayana is about
compassion and recognizing the profound interconnectedness of all
phenomena.
•The Vajrayana is about working with every circumstance as an
opportunity for complete enlightenment. Here one finds teachings on
ordinary magic, crazy wisdom, and auspicious coincidence—the ways
the world conspires to introduce you to your true nature.
The four noble truths and the three yanas in light of relationships.
Four Noble Truths of Relationships
1. Relationships are deeply uncomfortable.
Your first date, there is simply an enormous amount of discomfort involved in
relationships. We’re afraid of being hurt, disappointed, overtaxed, ignored. The
interesting part is that all these things happen. This is just the way it is, even in
happy relationships.
The thing no one tells you is that it’s impossible to stabilize a relationship.
•The emotional exchange between two people shifts like grains of sand in the
desert: some days you can see forever and some days you just have to take cover
because something kicked up out of nowhere and now shit is flying all over the
place. Until one day, a familiar path is altogether blocked.
•The bad news is you never get to where you thought you were going. You get
somewhere else instead.
•The good news is that there’s basically no way to have a boring relationship.
2. Discomfort comes from trying to make the relationship comfortable.
•At the root of the discomfort is the wish that it wouldn’t be uncomfortable, that we
could eventually find the “right” person and relax.
•
•But the truth is that when you do find the (or a) right person, it’s anything but
relaxing: your neuroses, their neuroses, and all the hopes and fears you’ve ever had
about love flood your situation.
•
•Whether you bargained for it or not, you get introduced to your deepest self while
someone else is trying to introduce you to their deepest self.
•It is better to dive right in and be really nice to each other as you consider the root of
your own and his/her confusion. (Acting nice to each other in the midst of confusion
is love.)
3. It’s the inability to create safety that plots the path to love.
True love seems to exist on some mysterious edge of its own. It can’t
be controlled and when you try, it calcifies. To keep it alive, at some
point you just have to let go and see what happens.
Love becomes more than mere romance. It turns into something way
better: intimacy. Romance has got to end, but intimacy? It has no end.
It is not like “oh, intimacy, we’ve done that. What comes next?”
Nothing comes next.
•Discuss:
4. It is possible to work with the uncertainty skillfully.
•you can train in working with the heart. As with anything you
consider important (or life-threatening, for that matter), you don’t
want to just show up and hope for the best.
Applying the view of the
three yanas could help.
What are they?
Three Yanas
1. Hinayana
• As mentioned, Hinayana teachings are about personal conduct: right
speech, right action, and so on. You get your own life in order through
discipline, honor, and effort. You know how to make your bed, pick up
your clothes, and make it to work on time. Basic stuff, but without
which everything simply falls apart. Very important.
•When applied to relationships, Hinayana view could mean things like
calling someone when you say you will. Being on time. Having good
manners. Listening when they talk and other such radical propositions.
2. Mahayana
•When you are a stand-up human being, you can extend yourself to another in a
more profound way. In fact, you want to. It just happens. You could find love and
actually enjoy it.
•Once you get into a relationship however, you find out something pretty
disturbing: you have to love them back.
•For whatever reason, all the relationship books and TV shows in the world seem to
be about how to get love, not how to give it–which is quite a complicated
proposition.
•Here’s the problem: most of us aren’t looking for someone to love. We’re looking
for someone to cast in the role of boyfriend or girlfriend. Central casting, send me
someone who has a job, a car. You can get as specific as you want when you send in
your requisition (I need someone with brown hair who likes dogs but not cats,
enjoys rowing, and has never eaten at Hooters), but eventually that person is going
to break character.
•Then what? Alarmingly, you have to dispense with all your requirements and have
a look at the actual person in front of you. You see that this person is as important
as yourself.
3. Vajrayana
If the Vajrayana teachings are about meeting the circumstances of
everyday life as a potential moment of transformation, then applied
to relationships it could mean something like this: Every single thing
that happens between you and your beloved is an opportunity to
love more.
Just as no one can tell you how to make giving birth or spilling your coffee into an
opportunity to attain enlightenment, no one can tell you how to do so when your
beloved leaves you for someone else or fails to empty the dishwasher.
Big or small, heart crushing or annoying, delightful or irritating, no matter what
happens, in the Vajrayana view it is fodder for wakefulness, for love.
And just as with Vajrayana meditation practices, you can read books about how
to do them and even have a great person teach them to you, but at some point
you’re on your own. You have to figure it out for yourself.
Buddhism for Development (BFD)
The Community Based Human Rights Program of BFD
What are these ? and Why?
http://www.bfdkhmer.org/index.php
Welcome From BFD
Letter from Director
•By 1st May 2011 Buddhism for Development(BFD) is stepping to the year 22 of its
operation in the development of Cambodia.
•Started in 1990 at Site 2, one of the biggest refugee camps along Cambodian-Thai
border, by a few Buddhist monks who were committed to reconciling all the
conflicting groups within the Cambodian political and community landscape and to
the reconstruction of Cambodia socially and economically.
•150 staff are now carrying out the mission in seven provinces of the north and
west of the country: Battambang, Pailin, Banteay Meanchey, Oddor Meanchey,
Siemreap, Kampong Thom, and Preah Vihear _To encourages, advises and
provides services, support and training to Cambodians to participate in the
sustainable socio-economic development of their own communities
•Aiming to assist the Royal Government of Cambodia in achieving the growth and
development of its people BFD approaches development using Buddhist
principles as a guide to development practice.
The Community Based Human Rights Program of BFD
•Began in 1999 in Banteay Meanchey Province and has evolved and
extended to Oddor Meanchey in 2000, Battambang in 2003,
Kampong Thom in 2004, and Preah Vihear, Kampong Thom, Pailin,
and Siemreap in 2006.
•
•This program guides and supports the development within
communities capacity to prevent Human Rights violations and to
promote local justice.
•Today, the Human Rights program covers 1376 villages or 175
communes, in 30 districts of 7 provinces. A total of 2,619 community
activists (1274 working at the village level, and 1140 working at the
commune level, and 205 at district level), and voluntarily work to
promote the respect of Human Rights, to prevent the Human Rights
violation, and to improve local justice and socio-economic
development in their own communities.
Community-based Human Rights
Community-based Human Rights Program BFD provide training,
coaching, and facilitating the community activists:
1. To be able to promote the respect of Human Rights
2. Take proper action against Human Rights violation
3. Help solving conflicts relating Human Rights violation, domestic
violence, land conflicts et cetera. occurring in their community
through alternative dispute resolution methodology,
4. Build networks at the district level and provincial level to deal
with the complicated and larger issues of Human Rights, conflicts of
interest, and the misuse of power and authorities between state and
citizens.
5. to advocate the submission of rule of law at the local and
national governments and
6. improve social accountability at the commune and village level
BFD sets Four Levels as indicators for the success in supporting to the development
of local capacity to prevent Human Rights violations and to promote local justice
among the target population as follows:
1 Listening Level: the willingness to listening of the villagers on the Human Rights
Declaration and the opportunity of access to the Human Rights information provided
by government agencies, civil societies, and other medias
2 Speaking Level: Initiative verbal action and reaction toward the Human Rights
issues occurred locally or nationwide; the spread of Human Rights knowledge to the
neighbors; Human Rights language are fluently speaking
3 Complaining level: Initiative verbal and physical action and reaction against
Human Rights violation through legal framework, peaceful demonstration, etc so that
justice would return.
4 Demanding level: Networking and advocacy to demand what individual citizen or
community should receive from state agency, government services, local
government, political parties; and the access to information of those organizations
on behalf of a citizen of a country.
Most of the target groups reach Level 2, and about 30% of them reach Level 3, while
Level 4 is about 20%. We expect to move all target groups to the Level 3 at the end
of 2010 and by that time 60% of them would reach Level 4.
HENG MONYCHENDA
Founder and Director of Buddhism For
Development (BFD)
Heng Monychenda is the founding director and visionary of Buddhism For
Development, a Cambodian NGO dedicated to improving the rights and welfare
of citizens especially those in rural and remote areas of Cambodia’s north-west
and central provinces.
After living under the Khmer Rouge regime for nearly 4 years, Heng Monychenda
moved to the Cambodian-Thai border living with the many Cambodians in the
camps. At this time Monychenda became a Buddhist monk a calling which
followed for 17 years, from 1980 - 1997.
From 1985-1992 he held the position as Director of Khmer Buddhist Research
Center in Site 2 refugee camp, aiming to discover the relationship between
Buddhism and Khmer society, and determining the Buddhist way that would
prevent tragedy from happening ever again in Cambodia.
While living at Site 2 camp, Heng Monychenda began a life-time mission to bring
peace, dignity and prosperity to Khmer community through innovative and
effective social program. In 1990 Monychenda founded Buddhism for
Development, aiming to promote socially-engaged Buddhism in Cambodia.
•Returning to Cambodia in 1993 under the repatriation program of the UN, he
located Buddhism for Development at Wat Anlongvil in Battambang province
where it still exists today.
•From its simple beginnings under difficult conditions, BFD now has over 130 staff
and seven branches located in Battambang, Pailin, Banteay Meanchey, Oddor
Meanchey, Siemreap, Kampong Thom, and Preah Vihear.
•In the mid-90’s, amid a complex political climate he was the principal architect
and leader for a series of annual national workshops on peace and development.
These meetings had many hundreds of participants from political and military
groups existing at the time, and were instrumental in promoting a Buddhist
‘middle path’ in national dialogues.
•He received training in management skills at the Klausenhoff Academy, Germany
in 1989, and received his Master Degree in Public Administration from John F.
Kennedy School of Government, Harvard University in 1998. With little formal
education, Monychenda is fluent in several languages.
•He is a prominent figure in Cambodia and widely recognized by groups such as
World Bank and International Labour Organization for his innovative and effective
contribution to development.
•He is a passionate Buddhist scholar writing many books and papers relating to
Buddhist values in governing a country for peace and development, in family
values, in reconciliation, and in development.
Working for a better society….
Buddhism For Development is a national Cambodian NGO with approximately 150 Khmer
staff operating in 7 provinces in the northwest of Cambodia and around the Tonle Sap lake
districts. BFD promotes human rights, educates for democratic and well governed
communities, and ensures better health and education of rural Cambodians.
BFD Vision
BFD envisions an educated democratic society free from poverty and preventable
illnesses, law abiding and respectful of human rights and the environment and a
moral society with respect for Buddhism and Cambodian culture and traditions whilst
being aware of the threats and opportunities presented by globalization.
BFD Mission
BFD encourages, advises and provides services and support to Cambodians to participate in
the sustainable socio-economic development of their own communities.
BFD Philosophy
•BFD projects are fully participatory and are designed to meet the needs of target
groups.
•With the Dharma as a guide, the aim is to achieve harmony between the
individual, society, and the environment.
•The projects focus on the economic, social, spiritual, physical and intellectual wellbeing of target groups and aid to guide them step by step towards self-reliance and
empower men.
1 Occurrence and development of Buddhism
• How did it occur?
• Origin: After passing the Lord Buddha. One group only
• 2 Sects: Hinnyana & Mahayana vehicles.
– Hinnyana = main teaching of the Buddha, follow the Lord
Buddha very strictly.
• Theravada Same as Hinnyana
– Mahayana = Discard small& unimportant practice. [Japan,
China, Thibet etc. ]
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2 Foundation and viewpoint of Buddhism
•
•
•
•
•
•
Eight fold paths
Dependent origination
Four noble truth
Three trainings (Sila, Samadhi, Panna)
Law of Kamma
Three universal characteristics (Tilakkana)
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• Buddha time: No scholar to spreading the teaching-only one.
• After death: three sects ?
1 Theravada – Sri lnka, Thai , Combodia, Burmese and laos.
2 Mahayana
– developed more than Theravada, because lay man can reach and understand,
closer to their real being. (Europe, USA, North & South African, Indonesia
etc.)
- 250 rules for Bhikkhu and 348 for Bhikkuni) Morning God eats Afternoon
Buddha eats and Evening hungry ghost eats. But sick monk can eat in the
evening.
- Bodhisattva (58 rules)
- Theravada (227 rules)
3 Vajrayana – Spread from Mahayana (chanting = mantra)
- Vajra = diamond , difficult to break = diamond vehicle leading by Dalia Lama
(now 14th) continue next life to be Dalai Lama again.
- Under Mahayana, but practice differently. Om… follow Hinduism.
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Home work:
Discuss on the similarity and the difference between two sects;
•Theravada
•Mahayana