Download Yom Kippur 5774

Yom Kippur 5774
During the holidays we smile and wish each other a good year. Yet, behind the smile each of us
suffers in our own ways, often unspoken. As we contemplate our lives on a day such as today,
we may become more aware of the things in life that hurt and trouble us. We are aware of the
pain and the emptiness created by loss of loved ones, dread of our own mortality, anxiety about
our own illnesses and physical limitations and those of loved ones, and disappointment in being
unsuccessful in relationships. We suffer as we feel underpaid and undervalued, financially
insecure, insufficiently educated, not chosen for the team, unsuccessful in comparison with
others, guilty for letting others down, cut off from a loved one and more. For each of us our own
pain is real and hard to bear regardless of where it stands in comparison to anyone else’s. On
Yom Kippur in particular we remember what happened to our people in WWII, and compared to
that all else pales, and we may feel that we have no right to complain. Yet, we still feel our
personal troubles, disappointments and loses with poignancy, and we are upset when people
expect us to get on with it, to get over it, and to count our blessings.
There are no simple answers to the problem of suffering.
The Book of Job in the Bible tells of Job’s suffering in the loss of his wife and children, personal
illness and other calamities and how he questions the existence of divine justice. In theology the
term theodicy is about the problem of explaining the existence of a powerful and loving God in
the face of the suffering of the righteous and the innocent, the prosperity of the wicked, and the
reality of evil. More recently, the term anti-theodicy refers to post-holocaust thought among
Jewish philosophers who feel that traditional images of divinity and the extent of unjust human
suffering are incompatible.
Hermann Cohen in his important work “Religion of Reason: Out of the Sources of Judaism”
published in 1919 tries to find meaning by suggesting that the suffering of the Jewish People
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over the centuries has shaped us to be compassionate because Jews understand what
suffering feels like. I think that feeling hurt can make any person either bitter and diminished or
more sensitive and responsive to others. No one can avoid suffering, but we can integrate that
which pains us into a meaningful path.
Viktor Frankl was a Viennese psychoanalyst who survived Auschwitz. In his book “Man’s
Search for Meaning,” he writes that in the concentration camp those who devoted themselves to
alleviating the suffering of fellow prisoners found the meaning that best helped them survive.
The truth of Frankl’s experience is further supported by a recent study at Harvard which
demonstrated that trauma can damage us or make us stronger – depending on how we
conceptualize it. Those who responded by reaching out to help others had no negative
physiological markers of stress in contradistinction to those who were focused entirely on their
own pain.
The ritual practices of Judaism are intended to evoke in us particular attitudes, emotions, and
understanding. The restrictive laws of the Sabbath are actually intended to foster an
atmosphere of serenity. The laws regarding Yom Kippur, as we just read from the Torah,
command the affliction of our souls on this day. The Talmud develops this to include five selfafflictions including not eating or drinking on Yom Kippur. The Torah, especially in mentioning
our souls rather than our bodies, intended this suffering to foster, not self-pity, but spiritual
transformation toward humility and a sense of empathy and loving-kindness. Soon after in the
Torah we come upon the core verse: “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Interestingly, this
quintessential teaching of Judaism is phrased in a manner that asks us to transcend our selffocus, and to seek the welfare and happiness of others as we seek our own. Judaism is about
self-transcendence, the suppression of egotism and narcissism that allows us to really care for
others. The latter is not a derogatory word; it just means the very common need for self-
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aggrandizement to compensate and protect oneself that results from earlier emotional injury.
Religion leads us to transcend narcissistic reaction, to accept ourselves despite injuries we have
sustained and to live with sensitivity and concern for others - Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself!
Many traditions teach that the experience of suffering can become a resource leading us to
deeper understanding and enlightenment. In Buddhism suffering is understood as being
endemic to life but it can give us perspective and motivate us to grow, if we can detach from our
personal ego and see ourselves instead as interconnected with all of life. The Dalai Lama was
visiting a community following a Tsunami. He told the devastated people, who having lost so
much, collapsed into sobs upon seeing him: “Please change your hearts, be brave,” he said,
while holding some and blessing others. Moved to tears himself, the Dalai Lama continued:
“Please help everyone else and work hard; that is the best offering you can make to those who
were lost.”
The Hindu leader Mahatma Gandhi accepted suffering as he undertook leadership of the
independence movement in India. He suffered long imprisonments and fasted more than once,
nearly to death, to stop outbreaks of violence. A British journalist approached Gandhi and
asked, “Don’t you have any ambition? Gandhi quickly responded, “I am very ambitious. I want to
make myself zero.”
Central to Christian theology is the story of the suffering of its primary figure, Jesus, for the
redemption of others.
Suffering in life is real, and while it is normal to sometimes fall into despair, despair need not be
the last word. Through suffering we may become more sensitive toward and caring for others
who are in pain. It can lead us through our understanding to cope with our own needs and be
redemptive in society. It can lead us to unite with others who share our destiny. Remember the
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closeness Americans felt for a time after the catastrophic events of 12 years ago on September
11th? We shared a new-found sense of vulnerability and unity. For a short time there was a
sense of interdependence that fostered a new gentleness between people. Many went to New
York to offer emotional support and to provide practical assistance of all kinds. Throughout the
country, and we ourselves here in Illinois, waved each other on to make left turns and were
generally more patient and kindly with one another. Congregational life at its best is about
building such a sense of community and caring, wherein the suffering of one is understood and
experienced by all.
Some people by having been overindulged or mistreated during childhood develop an overcherishing of self throughout life, which only serves to exacerbate their circumstance when
unpleasant things happen to them. They may be irritable with others and tend to think about
how things affect them rather than other people. Stress can make people overly reactive and
defensive, failing to understand that what hurts them hurts others too, and that others need
them to recognize their needs not only their own.
The prayer of Francis of Assisi tells us that in life we must “die unto ourselves,” by which he
meant overcome our egotism, our cherishing ourselves over others, our thinking that, and
behaving like, it’s all about ourselves.
We did not earn the right to be alive. This world is a wonderful place. Life is an amazing gift. So
much so that we tend to feel entitled. But, think about it. One day all our concerns, all our hurts,
will be as naught, so let us not destroy further our limited opportunity for temporal joy and for the
satisfaction that comes from contributing to the enhancement of life. For the good we do
spreads out into the world. When we act with kindness and thoughtfulness we diminish the
suffering of another and model for that person how to better function in the world. We do not
know how far the inspiration of our kindness may spread.
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We cannot get away from the reality that impermanence is our home and loss the law of the
world. My parents used to tell me a Yiddish saying: m’ken nisht unchapen got badeburd – You
can’t force God to do things your way by grabbing onto his beard. They were trying to teach me
about accepting reality and not protesting against that which cannot be changed.
Reb Nachman of Bratslav taught that it is an important religious obligation to be in a state of
constant joy. This is a most challenging task. But it does not mean what is sometimes mistaken
for joy – getting what we want and avoiding pain. Opening ourselves in love to the needs and
aspirations of others is the surest pathway to joy. I hope we can all find such happiness in the
year ahead. That is what I intend when I say to you L’shana Tova – may you have a truly good
year!
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